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Good relationships
take hard work"

KLE

LIVES BETWEEN

THE

Lesbians have had ENOUGH!

This is what you've told
us about FREE lesbian
online dating ..

"Free means ‘Plenty of Fakes”

“I am happy to pay to meet women
serious about meeting other women”

“I am happy to pay to meet genuine lesbians

who are also looking for love"

“I WANT A QUALITY SITE
WITH QUALITY WOMEN”

“I am happy to pay not to see
all the same women I see on
every free dating site”

“I am happy to pay to know
the site is being monitored’

Pink Sofa has heard you

• Yes we will charge you some money

• Yes you will meet women serious about meeting

i nie on the Pink Sofa.

, moved in together,
s iness and we got married

the best day of our Lives.

ur Luck in finding the
Pink Sofa.

other women

Yes you will meet genuine lesbians looking for love
Yes we will provide a quality site with quality women
No you won’t see see all the same women you see
on free lesbian dating sites
Yes we will monitor the site and check all profiles
and photos

Pink ^fa is changing

FSds &

Community

pinksofa.com

I WELCOME I

YOUNG LOVE & MARRIAGE

How has the legal recognition of
our relationships changed us?

WHAT IS LOVE?

DIVA asked readers to complete
the sentence, "Love is..."

DIATRIBE

When we say "lesbian",
why do they hear "sex"?

WHY WE LOVE...

Artist Evan Ifekoya plays
with gender and sexuality

QUEER CONTACT

DIVA picks highlights from
the Manchester festival

On the cover

BIRD LA BIRD

Meet the researcher,
performer and history buff

FUN PALACES

The women behind a project
to bring free arts to all

GREENHAM WAS HOME

The lesbian peace activists
of Greenham Common

FAITH, HOPE AND LOVE

Rev Glenna T Shepherd finds
inspiration for LGBT Christians

ALLEGRA & JACK

The two celebrity cooks
the hottest couple in tov

STELLA & SHELLEY

BETHANY BLACK

The trans comic on her role
in Channel 4's new drama

MEGAN ABBOTT

The crime writer discusses the
dark side of womanhood

BISEXUALITY = FREEDOM

What do our labels of choice
mean to bisexual people?

4 FEBRUARY 2015

PORTFOLIO

Jeanne Mammen recorded
lesbian love in 1920s Berlin

BLACK MODERNISMS

Gemma Romain explores queer
black lives between the wars

MAGGI HAMBLING

Approaching 70, the artist
talks about her new works

Writers Stella Duffy and Shelley
Silas reflect on 24 years together

VALENTINE'S UNDIES

DIVA selects the best pulling
pants and lucky knickers

UMOUR & COMMEN'

LIFESTYLE

COLUMNISTS

DIVA regulars Jay Bernard,
Susan Caiman, Charlotte
Cooper and Sarah Westwood

COMIC

Kate Charlesworth's
Put A Ring On It

PICK 'N' MIX

Stuff that's caught DIVA's
eye, plus Mediawatch

Throughout the issue you will see
this symbol, which indicates that
there is digital content available
related to that particular feature.

You will be able to access this complementary
content when you purchase our digital edition
from divadigital.co.uk or directly through the DIVA
branded app, available on the App Store, Google
Play, Kindle Newsstand and Windows Store.
(Please note that additional content may not be
available via all of our third-part digital suppliers.
However, buying the issue using one of the methods
above will give you access to this content.)

PALM SPRINGS

The desert haven is a
Mecca for gay visitors

CITY GUIDE: CALPE

A brand new women's fest
comes to Spain's Costa Blanca

FIRST CLASS

Travel tips to help you
plan your holidays

SCENE

London's Last Dance, plus
My Scene: south London

WELLBEING

Why the roots of addiction
can lie in homophobia

NO PROBLEM

Troubled mind? Let DIVA ed
Jane salve your sorrows

THE QUICKIE

Sexy short stories
by DIVA readers

SEX/LIFE

Ten tips to giving her the
perfect erotic massage

GROOMING

Organic skincare: why to
choose it and what to look for

TECHNOLOGY

Tech to help you love
your body - in theory

DIARY

More lez/bi listings than
you can shake a stick at

ON THE
COVER

Photography

LEZLI+ROSE

REVIEWS

Books, film, music,
online and TV

MAGAZINE

EDITOR'S LETTER

Plus, how to
get in touch

YOUR SHOUT

You tell us what you
think of DIVA

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door before it hits the
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DIRECTORY

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Looking for love? Why not
check out our personals?

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Coming soon...

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the shops and
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DIVAMAG.CO.UK 5

I WELCOME

EDITOR’S LETTER

Ours used to be the love that dare not speak its name
(and in some places in Britain and elsewhere in the world
it sadly still is) but throughout the pages of this month’s
issue of DIVA, you’ll read about a range of opinions on
different experiences of same-sex love between women
and their other loves. Our cover stars Jack Monroe and
Allegra McEvedy (p54) told us about the traditional Greek
idea of the four kinds of love and how they manifest in
their lives. Stella Duffy and her wife Shelley Silas (p62)
told us about love in a long-term relationship. Younger
readers told us how they feel about love and marriage (p48) and, as ever, the Rubbish
Lesbian tells is like it is (p22). As we went to press, we heard about a Tesco employee who
told a lesbian customer that lesbians shouldn’t have children, and that we should “die
alone”. Clearly, where lesbians are concerned, she’s not feeling the love. Find out more
about this story at tinyurl.com/TescoLesbidns. Elsewhere in DIVA, we reflect LGBT History
Month with a special focus on the women who had their lives changed through their
experiences at Greenham Common, the trans lesbians who inspire author Roz Kaveney
(p66) and the lives of black gay and bisexual women between the wars in London and
New York (p44). Finally, if you’re not already a subscriber, why not try a DIVA subscription
from as little as £7.99, saving you 33% on the full cover price. The price includes free early
delivery and exclusive subscriber-only covers.

Jane Czyzselska
DIVAMAG.CO.UK

DIVA

What is the love that dare not speak its name?

Editor Jane Czyzselska

"My love for Geraldine McEwan's Miss Marple"

Deputy editor Louise Carolin
"Well-dressed fusspot Niles from TV comedy Frasier"
Editorial assistant Carrie Lyell
"Taylor Swift's back catalogue"

Designer Fernando Safont

"My crush on Tony Blair. Shame on me"

Music editor Sarah-Jane Roberts

Books editor Eden Carter Wood

Film editor Joanna Benecke

Travel editor Lucy Fry

Diary editor Dora Mortimer

Art editor Anna McNay

Sex/life editor Anna Sansom

Big thanks to: Sarah Westwood, Fran Hayden,

Olympia Zographos, Catherine Murray, Brockwell
Lido Cafe

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NEXT MONTH

THE MARCH ISSUE

on sale 26 February 2015

Meet Desiree Akhavan: the “bisexual Iranian Lena Dunham”

Howto be a trans ally

Picture perfect: the stories behind readers’ wedding photos
Radical lesbian feminist Finn Mackay takes on the hot-button issues
Are The Dykeness Britain’s best lesbian prog-rock tribute band?

BFI Flare - DIVA’S guide to this year’s best lez, bi and trans movies

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DIVA is published monthly in the UK by Millivres Prowler
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6 FEBRUARY 2015

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Weekly cocktail deals/brand new shot menu.
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I MAIL I YOUR SHOUT I

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Star Letter

WOMEN SUPPORTING
WOMEN

Catherine Murray (Women
beware women?, Diatribe,
January) has written about
something I've been thinking
about lately. I am making a
point not to comment nega-
tively on women on the televi-
sion when our children are in
the room. My partner and I
try to model confidence and
teach our teenage boys that
women are to be respected.

It was lovely to see India
Knight being interviewed on
TV about her new book. She
was wearing trainers, hurray!
Today I have just read Caitlin
Moran's column in the Satur-
day Times magazine. She says
she has finally decided not
to wear heels anymore. It's
taken her decades to see the
light. I think women should
make a point of wearing shoes
that they can walk and run
in. For me, that is flat shoes,
for other women that may be
heels and, thankfully, we have
the freedom to choose.

For 2015, DIVA, let's start a
campaign where women sup-
port each other publicly by
saying and writing supportive
things. It would be wonderful
if the weekly magazines didn't
write articles about some-
one's weight or what they
wore and instead wrote arti-
cles about what they're doing
and what they have to say.

The campaign could be called
"Women Supporting Women"
or "Women Are Friends".

ANNA LANGTON, Northampton

ED: Great idea,

Anna! Watch
out for a
new weekly
column,
coming soon at
divamag.co.uk.

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WRITE TO US

letters@divamag.co.uk

or use the old-fashioned
method and drop us a line at

DIVA MAGAZINE

Spectrum House, Unit M
32-34 Gordon House Road
London NW51LP
United Kingdom

THE CLAUSTROPHIC CLOSET

I'm 33 and have only identified as a gay
girl for around 10 months; since the
breakdown of my marriage I've been
able to start to feel comfortable in my
own skin for the first time in my life.

I'm writing to you because I've gained
strength and useful information from
DIVA over this past year, but I'm hoping
you might do a piece on women in my
position. I'm positive there must be
more women who have been living a
lie for so long and are desperate for
some way to begin to emerge from
this claustrophobic closet that we find
ourselves in.

I'm lucky, I have made several close
lesbian friends (PS Any tips on moving
out of the “friend zone"? LOL) and also
have a gay sister to talk to... but I still
haven't “come out" officially to the
rest of my family or ex-husband.

I feel like I'm leading a double life right
now and I'm too scared to be honest
about who I am. When I'm out with my
gay friends, I feel completely normal
and like I'm “me" but when the night is
over, I have to go back to the fake me.
I'm also a mother of two, which means
severe restrictions on any new rela-
tionship; girls just don't want to know
when there are kids on the scene.

So I guess what I'm asking, is for you
to help girls in my position out, let us
know we're not alone.

CAROLINE

AW SHUCKS, IT'S NOTHING

Thank you so much for all that you
do - for unreservedly and fiercely
providing an amazing diversity of role
models, for introducing us to real
women with grey hair, or brown skin,
for showing us real, fully-functioning
and inspirational queer women in
every single issue. As a young queer
feminist, your magazine inspires me
every month; women like Aderonke
Apata prove that while the strug-
gle is not over, nor is the solidarity
and determination of queer women
all over the world. Your feature on
older lesbians was especially exciting
because there is so much to learn from
mature queer women like Linda Bellos
and Monica Beadle; they are a piece
of living history and have fought so
many battles for us to be where we are
today.

It is so exciting that I can find daring
and provocative articles on my su-
permarket shelf (or have it shipped to
me when I'm at university in Canada).
Thank you for bringing queer activ-
ism, feminist discourse and powerful,
successful and diverse women out
of the confines of Tumblr and into
mainstream media. Thank you for
hard-hitting questions and amazing
research that inspires young, queer
journalists like me.

CICELY BLAIN, thetalon.ca

CORRECTION 1

Oops! Last month we accidentally reversed Rose and Rosie’s names in the fashion
credits for every picture. (We got them right in the interview. Whew.)

Opinions expressed by correspondents and contributors do not necessarily
reflect the views of the editors of DIVA magazine or its publishers.

8 FEBRUARY 2015

PHOTO LEZLI+ROSE

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First time buying a @DIVAmagazine! How
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The gift of acceptance: Mum buying

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Bought (©DIVAmagazine for the first time
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Misogynistic women and homophobic
lesbians. Great article in (©DIVAmagazine
by Catherine Murray on why women
continue to self-sabotage.

OBITUARY: STELLA YOUNG (1982-2014]

Stella Young was a self-confessed wheelchair-using “crip” from Australia. She was many things
- a journalist, comedian, writer, educator, queer, activist, feminist, atheist, broadcaster, political
animal, knitter and kick-ass communicator. She was definitely not an inspiration - well, that’s
what she’s told over 1.5 million viewers worldwide in her 2014 TED talk, “I’m not your inspiration -
thank you very much”.

In only 32 years, Stella has accumulated a lifetime of achievements - from being voted Best
Newcomer at the Melbourne Comedy Festival, to being editor of the ABC’s disability website
Ramp-Up, she was fast becoming a nationally renowned media figure beloved for her refreshing
“tell it like it is” insights and her “nail on the head” witticisms.

When a friend of Stella’s recently died of the same impairment, social media was filled with
images of snowflakes. Stella responded by making it clear how she wanted to be remembered:
“In case I get hit by a bus tomorrow, I want to make something clear. I am not a snowflake. I am
not a sweet, infantilising symbol of the fragility of life, lama strong, fierce, flawed, adult woman.
I plan to remain that way in life and in death.”

Stella’s family have asked for those wishing to pay tribute to donate to Domestic Violence Victoria
( [givenow.com.au/dvvk :).

LIZ CARR

Pleased to
meet you!

Every issue, we invite
one of our readers
to tell us about her
relationship with DIVA.

NAMES AGE: LAUREN O'ROURKE, 18
FROM: GREATER MANCHESTER, UK
OCCUPATION: STUDENT
IDENTITY: LESBIAN

WHAT MADE YOU START
READING DIVA?

I saw Kaelyn and Lucy on a cover and a video they did with
DIVA (and Rose and Rosie). I recently saw Rose and Rosie on
the January issue front cover and made everyone buy it. Ever
since then I’ve been addicted.

HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN A READER?

Only a few months but I’ve already bought a subscription and I
can’t wait for more mags.

PRINT OR DIGITAL?

Both but mainly print every month!

WHAT DO YOU LIKE BEST ABOUT DIVA?

I like how original it is compared to other magazines. I love
how it represents lesbian, hi and queer women who may not
have any other ways of accessing information about ourselves,
it gives us representation and a voice. Being a queer teenager
there isn’t much representation anywhere but DIVA magazine
makes me feel less alone and more supported.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE
TO SEE MORE OF?

I’d love more popular YouTuber couples, more of Orange Is The
New Black. Some “agony aunts” or just more on being queer
and young. Or just more of the struggles of being queer and
how to cope with it, like being out in public. Definitely more
on bi/trans erasure in the LGBT community.

My girlfriend, my mum, my sister, anyone who is

WHAT HAPPENS TO YOUR COPY
WHEN YOU’VE READ IT?

I keep them and rip out any pictures of hot women to put up
on my walls.

WHO WOULD YOU PUT ON THE COVER
AND WHY?

WANT TO

INTRODUCE

YOURSELF?

Send a photo and
your answers to the
questions above to

letters@divamag.

co.uk

I’d love to put Poussey of OITNB
because she’s so hot and the role she
plays in the show is amazing. Or all
the OITNB cast because they’re such
strong and inspiring people. Laverne
Cox is also an amazing trans woman
from the show (and so hot) and she is
doing so well for the trans community
right now, it’s incredible.

DIVAMAG.CO.UK 9

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10 FEBRUARY 2015

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DIVAMAG.CO.UK 11

I love your rage

Ever read

anthology Angry
Women? It's like
an illuminated
manuscript
of feminist
interviews - bell

hooks, Annie Sprinkle - all packed
in with their deft irreverence. It was
foisted upon me by a friend, a gay
man, who was trying to make space in
his minimal flat. He was like, “Take it,
take it". I was like, “No wanna". A few
days later he sent a link to the Future
Feminist Tea Party, who were running
an event about the book. I'd been but-
tered up. I took it and inside read the
following: “In the 1960s the expression
'Angry Young Man' came into vogue
but there was no corresponding 'Angry
Young Woman' role model."

Actually there was: activists of all
stripes were labelled “angry", presum-
ably by the lizard types who were
often in power then, as they often
are now. But what that quotation is
really getting at is the implicit respect
in the term “Angry Young Man". What
it really means is Angry James Dean,
angry pretty boy who will grow up to
become an investment banker, angry
human who embodies the western idea
of “normal", whose anger is directed
at nothing in particular and can be
modelled on dummies in the windows
of Topshop.

Try to see that in the rather more
patronising terms “angry black wom-

an" or “angry students". Indeed, cast
your mind back to the student protests
of 2011, when Topshop responded to
the notion of free education for the
general populace with a t-shirt sport-
ing a double entendre: “The students
are revolting."

The conventions of writing a maga-
zine column mean that I must prepare
these things at least a month before
they will be read, so cast your mind
over whatever injustice is filling your
Twitter feed - at the time of writing it
is #Ferguson, #Garner, #icantbreathe -
to see how anger is met by the people
clamouring for your vote. The first
reaction is always to increase security;
then to let out the riot police; then
to hope that you're too scared to do
anything else.

Would that this were solely a char-
acteristic of the state. But the same
logic - that you are not worthy enough
to be angry - is repeated in school, by
parents and in relationships too, large-
ly by people who say they love you.

In fact, I wonder if the classroom and
the buggy aren't the first places we
learn to suppress our rage. Arbitrary
rules about school uniform not to
your liking? Here's a detention. Angry
about the way a teacher made you feel
like shit? Internal exclusion (which, for
those who went to nicer schools than
mine, is like a prison for children within
a prison for children).

Then, lucky you, you grow up and
you go out dancing and meet someone
who is ostensibly your friend. But

JUSTIFIED,
IRREVERENT,
CREATIVE
ANGER
SHOULD BE
RESPECTED,
SAYS JAY
BERNARD

See how
anger is
met by
the people
Glamouring
for your
vote

then you notice that you can't express
anything but happiness and joy at their
every action. Maybe you've met this
kind of person? A sort of walking, talk-
ing, micro-totalitarian state, who will
cut you off at the slightest indiscre-
tion: maybe you want that fifty quid
back or maybe you don't appreciate
waking up to the gory tampons they
leave haemorrhaging in the loo. They
don't tolerate your anger because
deep down, they have no respect for
you. You walk around behind them
like a starving shadow, wondering why
no-one else seems to speak out either.
And then you do, and it takes days for
you to wash the blood out of your hair.

There's the destructive, irresponsi-
ble anger, the kind of rage that really
does need a 12-step program. And
then there's the justified, irreverent
and creative rage that is really a sign
of self-respect. I don't think this gives
a free pass to everyone who has ever
seen red, but I do think it's telling that
every week we can watch a video in
which someone is murdered and fully
expect that everything will carry on.
Or, that we've reached a stage where
at every demonstration someone will
be carrying a banner saying: “I can't
believe I still have to protest this shit."
Or, that if you find yourself recount-
ing how you've been fucked over by
someone, your friends are likely to
look at you in weary sympathy;
acknowledging that anger by taking
action scares them, and it scares you
too. ©

12 FEBRUARY 2015

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COLUMNIST I DIATRIBE I

Of sex acts and identities

It happens all
the time and it's
infuriating. You
say something
innocent about
your partner and
some people
will immediately imagine two women
frantically scissoring and treat you
with either prurience or suspicion as
a result.

In a similar vein, gay men I know say
that in the same kinds of situations
it's as if they can actually see images
of men engaged in anal sex whirring
through the mind-cogs of heterosexu-
als when introduced at parties. In work
settings this is embarrassing at best
and obstructive at worst.

Take the recent exchange I had with
a PR who told me she wouldn't permit
DIVA to ask questions about her tal-
ent's sexual identity because she knew
the star in question wouldn't want to
talk about her "private life". Somewhat
confused, I assured her that DIVA had
no interest in her ward's private life,
sexual positions etc, we merely wanted
to ask her to acknowledge her same-
sex relationship in interview with us,
as she had recently done in a national

SEXUAL
IDENTITY IS
NOT THE SAME
AS SEXUAL
ACTIVITY,

SAYS JANE
CZYZSELSKA

Sexual
identities
were con-
structed
in order
to assert
rights

newspaper. As DIVA is a magazine
for lesbian and bisexual readers, this
seemed to us a reasonable request.

Not so, apparently. The PR reiterated
her concern about the "sexual line of
questioning" we were pursuing and I
tried (again) to explain that a question
about a person's sexual identity is
not code for information about their
sexual activity.

We eventually managed to come to
an agreement but the back and forth
on the subject is not an uncommon
experience with celebrity gatekeepers.

I'm slightly playing devil's advocate
here. I know there's sometimes good
reason for concern about the intrusive
journalists who focus on a star's sex
life and perceived "peculiarities" at
the expense of their work, which is
certainly not DIVA's approach.

Before the 19th century, sex acts
were not synonymous with a sexual
identity. In other words, homosexual-
ity is a social construction. As such
acts became regulated by law, the
identity of "the homosexual" emerged
in resistance to these laws. In the past,
the interest lay in what you were doing
rather than who was doing it.

Now that the laws have gradually

changed, perhaps the perceived differ-
ence levied between straight and gay
folks will have less currency.

The modern idea of being "born
gay" has less traction when we con-
sider the idea of how sexual identities
were constructed in order to assert
rights.

Another way to look at it is, regard-
less of sexual identity people may
perform the same sexual acts, but
the demarcation between different
sexual groups is quite artificial. There
is something much bigger about sexual
identity that includes but goes beyond
sex.

A friend recently told me part of
her sexual identity is that she prefers
the company of women but that when
people know you're gay - whether
or not they're gay themselves - they
tend to shrink you into sex acts rather
than the things you like doing or the
particularities of your emotional life.

I wonder if it's time for a revision in
the way we ourselves think about our
identities and others' in same-sex
relationships. If we want people to
change the way they respond to us and
treat us, perhaps we could be the
harbingers of that change? ©

14 FEBRUARY 2015

0'H00l€V & TIDOUJ

TH€ HUM

'Boundless songwriting and exquisite harmonies that truly shine.

Surely one of the albums of the year'

★ ★★★★ Guardian

R MOJO Folk Rlbum of the Vear 2014

★ ★★★

FEBRUARY

19 HUDDERSFIELD SLAITHWAITE WATERSHED

MARCH

01 SETTLE VICTORIA HALL
06 BRISTOL FOLKHOUSE*
07 BURY THE MET*
08 LONDON ST PANCRAS OLD CHURCH*

12 HEBDEN BRIDGE TRADES CLUB
13 WHITCHURCH NORTH SHROPSHIRE FOLK @ TALBOT THEATRE
14 BROSELEY BIRCHMEADOW CENTRE
16 SPAIN: BENALMADENA COSTA DEL FOLK
20 NEWBURY NEW GREENHAM ARTS
21 LEWES UNION MUSIC @ THE CON CLUB
22 HITCHIN FOLK CLUB
27 STOWMARKET JOHN PEEL CENTRE
28 CANTERBURY FOLK IN THE BARN
29 BOURNEMOUTH FOLK CLUB

APRIL

10 LINCOLN DRILL HALL

1 1 DURHAM WITHAM HALL

1 8 MACHYNLLETH Y TABERNACL

MAY

01 STROUD SUBSCRIPTION ROOMS

02 GUILDFORD TRINITY FOLK FESTIVAL
15 MATLOCK BATH THE FISHPOND

1 7 SHEFFIELD FIRTH HALL (WITH OUT ALOUD CHOIR)

22 MANCHESTER CHORLTON ARTS FESTIVAL

JUNE

05 LEICESTER GUILDHALL

06 DORSET OSMINGTON VILLAGE HALL
13 OXFORD OLD FIRE STATION

19 BRISTOL DOWNEND FOLK CLUB

20 WIVELISCOMBE SILVER STREET SESSIONS @ COTLEIGH BREWERY
26 SALTAIRE LIVE ROOM @ CAROLINE SOCIAL CLUB

* International Women's Day Concert with Lady Maisery & Grace Petrie

ohooleyandtidow.com

COLUMNIST I SEEING QUEERLY I

Buenos notches

CHARLOTTE
COOPER PUTS
HER SEXUAL
REGRETS TO
BED, WITH THE
HELP OF HER
GIRLFRIEND

Love can

a lot of
tilings

I was 18 years
old when Mum
died. Her name
was Rosemary.
We didn't have
enough time
together, she
didn't live long
enough to know me as an adult and
I still have stressful recurring dreams
about this. But what Mum did instil
in me was a sense that I am basically
alright, basically loveable. I think about
this quite a bit because I work as a
therapist with loads of people who
feel extremely unloveable. There are
theories about why this might be so,
and one of them is about how early
care-givers' attachments form the
basis of your self-esteem. This is why I
think Mum is responsible for the glow-
ing and unbreakable rock of self-worth
that I am lucky to have internalised.
Mum really loved me.

Love can look like a lot of things.
Last year my boyfriend got me a teddy
wrapped in cellophane on Valentine's
Day, after I asked him very sweetly.

I'd never had one before and I think
they're funny and stupid, I get senti-
mental for a big red bow. He obliged.
Love is a voice on the end of the phone
when you need someone to listen.
Limerence, or romantic infatuation,
can feel a lot like love, and falling in

love can make you feel completely un-
hinged. The love my mum taught me is
a quiet and tender feeling of strength,
solidarity, acceptance. It's not at all
flashy. I was thinking about this kind
of love just this week. There's some
backstory, which I'll explain first.

I didn't start fucking women until
I was well into my 20s, which felt an-
cient at the time and now looks pretty
young. I felt that I had failed at being
a dyke because I'd never acted on ear-
lier thoughts and feelings. I believed
nobody could possibly be interested
in me because I was, and am, fat as
well as being a Kinsey five. I didn't fit
the available narratives that people at
the time used to make sense of their
sexuality. I was a right weirdo. Eventu-
ally I had a flurry of activity and then I
met my girlfriend. I've had occasional
dalliances since then, I am poly, but I
maintain a lingering regret that there
aren't more notches on my bedpost.

I told my girlfriend this story last
Sunday morning as we were lying in
bed together. I had a good old cry,
these shameful regrets have tor-
mented me for years! She stroked my
head and reminded me that there are
good reasons why I started later than
I'd wanted to, specifically the unholy
trinity of homophobia, biphobia and
fatphobia, mixed in with a giant dose
of sexism, grief and struggle. It wasn't

because I'm a shitty queer. Then she
leapt up and said, “Listen to this!"
gleefully. Within seconds she'd found
a recording online of KD Lang doing
Constant Craving. She whacked it on
and started dancing round the room.

I wish no ill on KD Lang or her
fans, but I must confess that hers is
not the music that moves me most. In
this instance, however, it reduced me
to a barely functioning wreck. I don't
even know if hysteria is real but I was
howling with laughter, wailing and
kind of speechless all at once, I could
barely move or breathe. It was amaz-
ingly cathartic. My love had soothed
my troubles and vanished them away
by lovingly taking the piss out of me,
lesbian-style.

When I recovered she said: “Let's
draw the notches who might have
been." So we sat at the kitchen table
and we drew imaginary pictures of
those I'd shagged in a parallel universe.
I invited my friends to draw some
notches for me if they felt like it, and
that invitation extends to you as well,
dear reader. I stopped feeling so alone
with my past and appreciated what I
have instead. When I thought about
how my girlfriend had handled my
notch regret, I thought: “Wow, this is
what love looks like." ©

chdrlotte@divdmdg.co.uk

16 FEBRUARY 2015

PHOTO SARA DAVIDMANN

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I WHY WE LOVE I EVA1TIFEK0’

An eloquent, engaging and energetic
performer, Evan Ifekoya plays with
traditional concepts of gender and
sexuality and queers them using a
variety of mediums. Originally studying
textiles, Evan created interventions
in public spaces including a tapestry
on a staircase and large-scale knitting
with broom handles, before moving on
to fine art. Now a performance artist
(who prefers non-binary pronouns),
they draw on their different skills to
create something unique that'll make
you think. "Art is a vehicle," says Evan.
"It's a way of thinking through and

THE LONDON-
BASED
ARTIST AIMS
TO QUEER
TRADITIONAL
NOTIONS OF
RACE, CULTURE
AND IDENTITY

coping with temporary existence."

Influenced by daily life - "What I
read in the news and what I see out on
the streets" - Evan queers popular im-
agery by appropriating material from
historical archives and contemporary
society. "I work with things that are
already quite familiar to people and
I try and subvert them in some way,"
Evan says. "For example, I made a
video that was a spoof of Sesame
Street, where I talk to a kid about
gender identity. You wouldn't usually
see something like that, so that is my
way of exploring the potential of that

space; of queering the image as we
know it."

Evan hopes their work will make
audiences laugh - and feel a bit
uncomfortable, too. "I hope to create
work that acts as a mirror in some way
and allows people to see something of
themselves and how they interact with
the world." ©

Evan is exhibiting two works as part of the 30
Years Of The Future exhibition, which runs until 1
February at Castlefield Gallery in Manchester.
cdstlefieldgdllery.co.uk
(g>evdn_ife

18 FEBRUARY 2015

WORDS CARRIE LYELL, PHOTO ANGELA DENNIS

I ADVERTORIAL I

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Love stinks

Love is a strange
thing. I've never
known anything
else in my life
that can bring
me such great joy
and then such
utter disappoint-
ment. Apart from the Star Wars films.
Of course, scientists may say that love
is simply a matter of biology or chem-
istry or some complicated stuff and
such, but logic can never quite explain
why love lingers on in our memories
far beyond when it should.

I was on the train the other day and
suddenly felt completely and utterly
sick. The effect was so immediate that
I genuinely thought I would vomit on
myself. Oddly, the cause of my nausea
wasn't the smell of the toilet, rather
it was the overpowering scent of
Dewberry that was clinging to a fellow
passenger for dear life.

To be fair to The Body Shop, it's not
that I have a particular gripe against
the fragrance itself, what makes me
hate it is the fact it brings back memo-
ries of my first ever love. Ok, love may
be stretching it slightly; it was more of
a teenage infatuation. And if I'm very
honest, it was less infatuation and
more gratitude. You see, the woman
who drenched herself in Dewberry
was the woman with whom I shared
my first proper kiss. What I remember

most of all about her isn't the kiss
itself, I suspect the event was rather
rushed and probably more awkward
than enjoyable. My abiding memory
is that she had everything Dewberry.
Hand cream, foot cream, shower gel.
You could almost see the scent wafting
around her, like the old Bisto advert.

And that's what made me feel sick
when I caught a whiff of it in the train,
because the overwhelming emotion
when I think of that time is humilia-
tion. She dumped me shortly after the
kiss even though, in truth, there was
no real relationship to be dumped
from. But it hurt like hell at the time
and even now, over 20 years later, the
smell of Dewberry makes me feel like a
complete loser.

Similar olfactory reasons are why
I refuse to allow incense into my
house, because even the most cursory
sniff of the stuff reminds me of the
first woman I slept with. She was, I
suppose, in the truest sense my first
love. Although, once again, gratitude
was certainly part of the reason I fell
for her. She loved incense; I suspect
she would have filled an inhaler with
incense if she could have. And then,
in a pattern that was to continue
for several years, she also dumped
me, this time in true lesbian drama
circumstances.

Less than 24 hours after we first
slept together, an event that I was

20 FEBRUARY 2015

THIS

POWERFUL
EMOTION
HAS SUSAN
CALMAN BY
THE NOSE

She had

everything

Dewberry.

Hand

cream.

foot cream.

shower gel

still delirious with joy about, she
called me and asked if she'd left her
girlfriend's gloves at my house. Which
led me to ask the awkward question,
"But I thought I was your girlfriend?"

I learned a valuable lesson that day
- don't get naked without asking a
few questions of the person you are
getting naked with. And this dumping
is what's led to my hatred of incense,
because it reminds me of trying to rip
a pay-phone off the wall of a student
flat in 1993, while shouting: "She can
shove her fucking gloves up her fuck-
ing arse!"

Of course, it does work the other
way; smells can make me happy. For
example, I love the way my cat's paws
smell when they've been asleep and
sweating. They're like warm diges-
tive biscuits. And I love the smell of
my wife's neck in the morning. Oddly
enough, she also smells like warm
digestive biscuits.

Which is why I've started carrying a
packet of McVitie's with me at all
times. Just in case I smell something
that makes me sad. Digestive biscuits
are to Dewberry what garlic is to a
vampire. I'm ready for the memories
now. And even better, I always have a
snack with me. ©

Catch Susan Caiman at London’s Soho Theatre in
February. Visit sohothedtre.com for further details
and tickets.

24 businessmen

30 in admin

22 bar tenders

1 6 actors

7 builders

Lon In

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6 film makers

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9 doctors

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36 in finance

45 IT managers

8 models

24 in hospitality

9 armed forces

1 9 teachers

26 engineers

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What love is (and what it isn’t)

Cards on the
table, I find
traditional
Valentine's senti-
ments revoltingly
saccharine. I'm
talking about
those dreadful “Love is ..." cartoons, in
which an infantile straight couple are
pictured holding hands and gazing into
each other's eyes to illustrate various
pat phrases. I was the unhappy recipi-
ent of a “Love is ... never having to say
you're sorry" card from a boyfriend
when I was 16 and found it both factu-
ally incorrect, and, because at that
point he had nothing to be sorry for,
ever so slightly menacing.

Typical Valentine's card sentiments
are generic and grand, but also kind of
vague. I mean, is love really wishing on
a new moon together? If my girlfriend
wandered wistfully to the window and
summoned, “Come, my love, to the
window where we shall wish upon this
new moon together," I'd reply, “Calm
down, Patrick Moore, Jeanette Winter-
son's on Question Time". As for “Love
is ... two Valentines entwined together
forever", that's not love, it's a sexual
misadventure that'll end at A&E with a
conscious uncoupling. And if “Love is
... counting her freckles" then my der-
matologist, Dr Kapur, and I have been
going steady for the last two years.

My issue with such idealised depic-

tions is that they don't do justice to
the subtleties and intricacies of love.
What's great about love is that it isn't
predictable or malleable, sometimes
it's deliberately difficult. Book a
“romantic" meal for your Valentine, in
the perfect setting and complete with
champers, and love will be a no-show.
The pressure to stage romance can
be counter-productive, as if a passing
Cupid has observed your efforts and
deliberately shat on them mid-flight
like a petulant seagull. Love is more
likely to wash over you in simple unre-
hearsed moments, such as watching
your girlfriend emptying the dishwash-
er, hearing her address the cat in her
special “cat voice" or simply looking
over to see her honking with laughter
at a serial killer documentary. So to
me the idea of an obligatory day for
romance is as uninspiring as the prose
in those greetings cards.

But many people love buying cards,
so I would like to propose a new set of
cartoons based more firmly in reality.
Love is ... watching a TV programme
your girlfriend is excited about, without
spoiling her enjoyment by sighing
resentfully and pointing all the plot
flaws. Love is ... not fleeing in horror
when a stomach bug on Christmas Eve
forces her to drop to her knees on her
mum's landing and forcibly heave a
dozen oatcakes into a perilously shal-
low washing up bowl. Love is ... putting

her pyjamas on the radiator. Love is ...
stepping out of a warm car into the icy
wind of the hard shoulder to cheer on
your girlfriend as she attempts to top
up the windshield washer fluid like a
scene from It's A Knockout. Love is ...
driving around in that same car without
complaining that it reeks of washer
fluid because in her haste she forgot to
put the lid back on and it leaked all over
the boot. Love is ... a buoyant: “Well, /
thought it was really good". Love is ...
offering to clean up the cat's hairball
because you know that if she even claps
eyes on that tubular mass she'll dry
heave and then cry. Love is ... buying a
bag of corn nuts for your girlfriend in
the knowledge that when she munches
on them she will sound like a pony
eating an apple. Love is ... attempting
to eat corn nuts quietly, or better still,
not at all.

Love isn't a conceit. It's not
moonlight and roses. Sometimes it's
messy and imperfect, and that's what
makes it so good. The un-pretty truth
about love is that it's about gritted
teeth as much as it is wide-eyed
wonder. Yes, it's the big life-defining
moments, but it's also lots of little joys
every day. Love is ... heart-swelling
pride, stomach-dropping fear and
sputum-spraying laughter, wrapped in
a tartan blanket. No doubt you have
your own examples of love in mind, so,
love is ... whatever it means to you. ©

SARAH
WESTWOOD
SETS OUT TO
CAPTURE THE
ESSENCE OF
LOVE. EXPECT
HAIRBALLS

Love is . . .
putting her
pyjamas
on the
radiator

22 FEBRUARY 2015

COMIC I KATE CHARLESWORTH I

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DIVAMAG.CO.UK 23

I UPFRONT I

In the tech world, dominated by
men, the founder of lesbian dating
app Dattch is an inspiration. Since
appearing in a feature on young
entrepreneurs in DIVA last year,
the bisexual 27-year-old has been
working non-stop, and we’re not the
only ones who’ve noticed - her story
is one of three to be featured in a new
Channel 4 documentary about British
app designers. Billion Dollar Dreams,
which hits screens later this year,
sees Exton’s pitch to investors in San
Francisco. The Evening Standard says:
“Of the three hopefuls featured in the
programme, she comes across best:
enthusiastic, witty, likeable.” Well
done, Robyn!

ETHICAL CHOCOLATE

With Valentine’s coming up and Easter eggs already on sale, we’re
thinking about chocolate even more than usual. But we’re not
interested in the cheap stuff from your local newsagent - we’re
talking ethical exquisiteness. Original Beans is full of taste but free
from industrial sugar, animal proteins, child labour, unfairtrade,
poverty exploitation and many more “ingredients” found in many
well-known chocs. Grab a bar of this, and you’re not just taking
care of your tastebuds, but the environment too. For every bar
sold, local farmers are able to plant a cacao or shade tree, improv-
ing their livelihoods and the integrity of bio diversity hotspots, and
slowing down climate change too. Delicious.
origindlbeans.com

@harto

Watching “How It’s Made: Wool” is
unraveling the very fabric of my life.

(S)AnnaRichardso

WHAT THE...??? I can’t cope with the
diffhanger!!! #lasttangoinhalifax

(ffiheatherpeace

Just tried to
use my nectar
card to get in
the gym. Same
receptionist as
the one I spoke
to with a face
full of toothpaste
last week.

(STheEllenShow

What does Thor wear under
his shorts? Thunderpants.

(ffilspraggan

Going to the darts looks like a
right laugh. No one will frown
at me for drinking stout there
either... I’m going!

(SEIIenPage

The Queen
honoured
a political
who blamed
Hurricane
Katrina and
AIDS on LGBT
people. Fuck
that.

(ffizoelyons

Tearing the sudoku from the paper
and placing it in a coat pocket for
later suddenly the puzzle of what it
is to be middle aged was solved.

@stellduff

I just stopped
myself dancing
alone to
busker in sth
ken subway.
#daftme

24 FEBRUARY 2015

H our favourite tv double act are back on

OUR SCREENS WITH THEIR FIRST CHAT SHOW IN
15 YEARS... DIVA CORNERED THEM FOR A CHAT.

GOOD NEWS FOR LESBIANS

In a world saturated
with depressing sto-
ries, it’s nice to have
something to smile
about for a change.
And what beats a
good love story? Not much, it seems.

Last month, visitors to our website were
over the moon with the news that Sue
Perkins and Anna Richardson were of-
ficially a thing, making it the most read
story on divamdg.co.uk. And across on
pinknews.co.uk, it was their most read
story of the past decade. “Congratulations
Sue Perkins and Anna Richardson,” they
said. “Love is stronger than hate and this
shows with the popularity of this article.”
The couple have been together for a while,
but only went public recently when Anna
told Lorraine Kelly: “I was with my boy-
friend for nearly 20 years and I’ve known
Sue on the circuit, but about a year and a
half ago we met at a party. I was recently
single and we just... all I can say, there was
an understanding between us and for me
the planets aligned. I just thought, this
person, it’s not even about a woman, this
person is absolutely extraordinary.”

No doubt there’ll be some of you wonder-
ing why two people are spending their
time together is news, but for as long as
there are lesbian and bisexual women in
the public eye who are afraid to go public
about their sexuality or their relationship
because of backlash - real or imagined -
well keep writing about it.

@Seej

DIVA: How would you sum up the new show?

It’s been 15 years since your last chat show. What gave you
the idea of bringing it back?

MEL: For the last two or three years, in our slightly shambolic
way, we’ve tried to sit down and say, “We should do some-
thing live again”. We love live because of the roughness round
the edges, the excitement, the madness, and stuff going off on
all sorts of weird tangents.

SUE: When you work live in front of an audience, aiming for
perfection is pointless. But what you can achieve are these
magic moments when you get heckled or something unpre-
dictable appears.

SUE: Absolutely. Sometimes on Light Lunch the
producers would whisper in our ears, “We’ve only
got three seconds left - oh no, it’s actually 20 seconds. Think
of another question.” At which point, Mel would always go
slightly glazed, put on a rictus grin and ask, “Got any pets?”

Does the format work well for you as a double act?

Are you nervous about the response?

Mel and Sue is on ITV, weekdays at 4pm.

MEL: This is going to sound really twee, but it’s like hosting
a jolly in your house. We’re welcoming people in and giving
them snacks.

SUE: It’s basically just a couple of mates messing around and
eating everything in the studio. We love being in each other’s
company and just chatting. The producers are saying in our
ears, “Can you stop talking now?” It’s like budgies. They have
to put cloth over us to stop us talking. But anything you can
do to make our easy job sound really hard would be most
annreriatpri

MEL: It’s a format where we work well together. It’s always quite
nice to have two people interviewing rather than one. You’ve
always got back-up.

SUE: It’s like velociraptors in Jurassic Park - two of them work-
ing as a team to rip someone to pieces. It’s a “double Paxo”
because one is never enough.

SUE: Yes. I’ve started calling it the “Farewell Tour” in case it
fails. I’ll say, “Mel and I will always love each other, but it’s
goodbye”. But if it works, well rebrand it and say, “Well, hello
again”. It’s like the Rolling Stones. Every tour is a farewell tour.

For more TV highlights see reviews, p54.

Don’t have a date for Valentine’s Day? Don’t worry. We’re streaming of a great night in with
Roku. This lovely little gadget plugs into your TV, giving you access to a fantastic selection
of free, subscription and rental channels including Netflix and Amazon Instant Video, so you
and your friends can watch Orange Is The New Black or Transparent without
all huddling around your laptop. It takes a matter of minutes
to set up, and is controlled by the remote or with your
smartphone. You can even beam photos, songs
and videos straight from your phone or tablet.
Who needs a woman? We’re in love.

roku.com/uk

DIVAMAG.C0.UK 25

ADDITIONAL
DIGITAL
CONTENT

More information on p5 I divadigitdl.co.uk

A DIVA

SEASONED
PROS RUB
SHOULDERS
WITH NEW
ARTISTS AGAIN
IN A FANTASTIC
CELEBRATION
OF THE BEST
QUEER ARTS
AND CULTURE,
IN LGBT
HISTORY
MONTH. DIVA
SCOURED THE
PROGRAMME
AND PICKED
OUT OUR
BEST BITS

I sing humour, music and high
kicks, Big Girl's Blouse tells
the story of a girl who was
born a boy and became a
woman. Supported by the
Wellcome Collection, as part
of its Sexology Season, it's
| a very personal story, per-
formed by Kate O'Donnell.

“Big Girl's Blouse was something
my dad called me as a put-down for
most of my childhood," says Kate. “So I
wanted to reclaim who I was as a child:
strong, creative and a bit fabulous. I
nearly didn't call the show Big Girl's
Blouse as I hated being called that.

Now I'm thinking of having t-shirts
made. I am very proud of reclaiming it."

What attracted her to theatre? “For
some reason, being on stage felt safe,"
she says. “I must be the only person
who was searching for a spotlight, not
hiding from it. I love the challenge and
excitement of a live performance." But
performing must be nerve-wracking,
particularly something so personal? “I
worry if I don't get nervous," says Kate.
“It's an important part of performing
for me. I am mindful of nerves when
creating a show and try and make the
beginning physical to get rid of them.
Before I go on stage, I keep saying the

26 FEBRUARY 2015

WORDS CARRIE LYELL, PHOTOS LEE BAXTER, ROSHANA RUBIN MAYHEW, JULIA BAUER

I FEATURE I QUEER CONTACT I

first line over and over again, as once
that's out I'm fine."

So what can we expect from this
show? "It's a story about being differ-
ent," Kate says. "About growing up in
the 70s and then coming out in the
80s, through to living as a woman. All
the time going back to the strength
and bravery of that child who taught
me how to cope with what life throws
at you. People I worked with on the
show have encouraged me to be hon-
est... I find the more personal it is, the
more powerful it is. If I didn't want to
put something in the show then I stuck
with it and found a way to get it in, and
that material makes up some of my
favourite parts of the piece."

Kate, who has been performing for
most of her life, says the work about
her experiences as a trans woman has
been really well received, including
a short cabaret show called A Short
History Of My Tits, which she'll be per-
forming at Duckie in February. She'll
also be taking Big Girl's Blouse on the
road later this year.

A quietly political show, she was
inspired to tell her story after noticing
increasing hate towards LGBT people.
"I live my life as a woman and my trans
identity more or less goes unnoticed,"
she says. "But last year, I was aware of
the rise in worldwide homophobia and
transphobia and thought, it's time to
stand up and be queer! And do what I
do best - make a song and dance
about it." ©

Wed 11 and Thu 12 Feb, 9pm. £10/6. Over 14s.

To keep up with Kate’s work, check out
fdcebook.com/kdteodonnellpresents.

KATE O’DONNELL ON TOUR

More opportunities to catch Kate in Big
Girl’s Blouse

Fri 8, Sat 9 and Sun 10 May, 6pm.

The Marlborough Theatre
4 Princes Street, Brighton BN2 1RD
01272 9172 721

Presented by Pink Fringe, £9/£7.

Sun 14 June, 5pm.

Slung Low’s HUB

67-71 Bath Road, Holbeck, Leeds LSI! 9UA

PERFORMANCE

CLUBBING

DIVA DEBATE

LET'S TALK ABOUT
SEX BABY

Join us for a lively and arousing
debate about lesbian and bisexual
desire. DIVA editor Jane Czyzselska is
joined by an expert panel including
filmmaker Campbell X (pictured, far
left), Dr Rachel Morris from Cosmopolitan
and Kathy McGuirk (pictured, left) of
the Lesbian and Gay Foundation.

EGGS COLLECTIVE:

GET A ROUND

Exploring friendship and kindness
against the backdrop of a night out,
Get A Round is a smart and energetic
show from Eggs Collective, a young
female theatre and cabaret company
developed through Contact. Catch it
before a national tour later in the year

Thu 5-Sat 7 Feb, 9.30pm. £13/7. Over 18s

PERFORMANCE

AMYANDROSANA

CADE: SISTER

A critically acclaimed, frank
examination of the bond between
two sisters - one a sex worker, the
other a lesbian activist. This powerful
and joyous performance received
rave reviews at last year’s Edinburgh
Fringe Festival, and deservedly so.

u 5-Sat 7 Feb, 7.30pm. £13/7. Over 16s

WITCHHUNT

An unmissable female-focussed
hip-hop, house and electro club night
with a strong feminist aesthetic and
concept-driven stage production.

Sat 7 Feb, 11pm-4am. £5.50 (£6
Over 18s.

DIVAMAG.C0.UK 27

Lesbian trans comedian Bethany Black
has broken ground as the first trans
woman to play an ongoing character in a
British TV series. Helen Brears, a straight
trans woman, appears throughout
Russell T Davies' new Channel 4 series,
Cucumber, which premiered in January.
She is also the protagonist of an entire
episode that explores her life in more
detail, in the E4 sister series, Banana.

DIVA: Did you feel the script and char-
acter were a good representation of
your own experience?

BETHANY BLACK: When you tell a
story like this, it's going to be repre-
sentative of some, but not everybody's
experiences.

The character of Helen is so com-
pletely opposite to me: she's very straight
and girly and I'm a butch lesbian. But the
relationship she has with her family is
almost exactly the one I have with mine.
Christine - who plays [Helen's] mum - her
speech is the same as what my mum said
to me, almost word for word. It made
me cry every time. So much exactly cor-
relates to my experience.

What was the working relationship
like with Lewis Arnold, your director?

He is the most wonderful human being.
When I got the job we spent two days
sharing really personal details of our
lives, so we had this shorthand and he
could drag out the emotional perfor-
mances.

There were a couple of funny mo-
ments on set - when I looked around
my character's bathroom and said, "You
should probably know that I wouldn't
have six boxes of tampons". Because
the way the story is written, the charac-
ter is trans but it's not about that - it's
just a side-issue to everything else that
is going on. That's why I was so excited
to take part in it.

You self-identify as a lesbian trans
woman. Was this a gradual realisa-

tion, or was there a Eureka moment?

As a teenager, I got really confused be-
cause you never saw lesbian trans women
anywhere, so I assumed I couldn't be trans
if I still found women attractive.

And then it hit me like a bolt of light-
ning. I remember thinking, "I find women
attractive, everybody agrees on that.

And I don't fancy guys because they're
not attractive and everybody knows that
as well. I get on with some guys, I don't
feel that physical buzz, but surely no
women do?" And then suddenly I went,
"Oh, actually no, straight women do! Ah!
Alright, that's where I am".

Growing up a lesbian and trans is
so difficult to get your head round. It
throws people's idea of gender and
sexuality into turmoil.

How did you, as a lesbian, feel about
playing a straight trans woman?

My whole first day was spent kissing
Graham Bryan, who plays Ross. I came
home to my girlfriend and said: "That
was really weird, I had to kiss a man. It
was rubbish." And all my straight friends
who saw the photographs said: "I don't
know what you're complaining about!"

The character of Helen feels like
me about 10 years ago. Something that
society and the media had drummed
into me, was that if someone's willing to
be with you, despite the fact that you're
trans, you should just accept it.

And to actually say, "No - I'm better
on my own, I can be loved for who I am,
not what I am", I think that's the moral
of the whole story.

Your character Helen at one point
says to an ex-boyfriend that she's
tired of being someone's fetish. Is
this an issue you've confronted in
real life?

It was actually one of those lines I felt
uncomfortable saying, initially. There's
this idea that you don't really talk
about it. At least, for somebody of my
generation.

THE TRANS
COMEDIAN
DISCUSSES
HER GROUND-
BREAKING
ROLE IN THE
NEW QUEER
TV SERIES,
CUCUMBER
AND BANANA

INTERVIEW

CATHERINE MURRAY

“Grow-
ing up o
lesbian and
trans is so
hard to got
your head
round”

But the more I got into the role
I felt, "Yeah, this is absolutely what
needs to be said".

I think it's out there. People regu-
larly come up and ask about whether
or not you can come, whether you
can have sex. People do genuinely feel
almost like they have ownership.

The only time you actually see trans
people represented, it's either glamor-
ous, or a story with no redemption, or
pornography. So this is how people
then assume they can behave.

Are you hopeful that appearing on
TV will help to change attitudes in
society?

That's one of the greatest things about
this role. I know from growing up
and not seeing anybody trans on TV
(except on Jerry Springer) that this will
help change the narrative.

When I first came out as trans in
the late 90s, no one wanted to talk
about it. I had lots of trans women
tell me that because I passed (which
I hate), I should never let anybody
know. I tried that for about six
months and it was the most awful
experience of my life, going from one
closet to another.

When this goes out on TV, there
will be people who, for the first time,
get to see somebody trans playing
somebody they can identify with. And
they can see that it's not all doom and
gloom and you're going to have to live
in a tent and eat spiders.

The reason people aren't as
homophobic any more, is that most
people know somebody who's gay.
That's the big key to turning this
around, and stopping the level of
harassment that happens to trans
people on the streets. ©

Cucumber (Channel 4) and Banana (E4) begin on
22 January.

What did Sue Perkins say about Banana? Find out
on divdmdg.co.uk.

DIVAMAG.CO.UK 29

Calpe - Alicante - Spain

5-7 JUNE 2015

www.olagirls.com

THE LESBIAN MEDITERRANEAN GETAWAY

Sunshine Is The New Black!

In 201 5, choose an all-inclusive lesbian sunshine
break with OlaGirls! Fun, sun & beaches are top
of our list, together with delicious cuisine
& adventure. Meet lesbians from all over Europe,
kick back and relax!

Gourmet food & drinks * Sports & activities * Hotels
to suit all budgets * Fun, sun & lesbians galore!

What are you waiting for? Book your slice of
Mediterranean sunshine today!

Alicante, Spain - 5-7th June 201 5

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your vacation just got sexier

PTOWN.OPG

PROVINCETOWN BUSINESS GUILD

WORDS SARAH-JANE, PHOTOS RYAN PATTERSON

I REVIEWS

ESSENTIAL ORCHESTRAL POP

JOHN GRANT WITH
BBC PHILHARMONIC
ORCHESTRA

Live In Concert (Betta Union)

Recorded in late 2014, this wonderful
album captures queer singer-songwriter
John Grant live with the BBC’s 60-piece
orchestra. Grant’s melancholy vocals and
playful lyrics are underscored by flourish-
ing brass and flute, emotive, towering
strings and magnificent percussion.
Breathtaking.

CHAPELIER FOU

Deltas (lei d' Ai lieu rs)

A French composer, Chapelier Fou
specialises in beautiful soundtracks and
solo albums that fall somewhere between
Yann Tiersen and Four Tet. His latest
album is a gorgeous fusion of ambient
electronica, synth-pop and modern
classical. Some songs are driven by quietly
euphoric beats, loops and melodies whilst
others feature deep rhythms interlocked
with swelling strings, acoustic guitar and
tone-piano. Sublime.

18 +

Trust (Houndstooth)

A mysterious duo from LA, 18+ dabbled in visual art before releasing a trilogy
of mix-tapes. Their long-awaited debut, Trust, morphs the sparse melodies of
the XX and Deptford Goth with the leftfield hip-hop of Shabazz Palaces and
THEESatisfaction. Oixu, Dry and Nectar swing between chill-wave and very
minimal electro whilst Crow, Midnight Lucy and Forgiven venture into digital
R&B and dub. In keeping with their name, 18+ explore sex, desire, gender and
identity in their songs with Sis crooning intimate, X-rated lyrics over skittering
beats, slow synths, crackling loops and dirgy effects.

DOWNLOAD THIS

GHOST CULTURE

Ghost Culture (Phantasy)

Essential listening for electro fans, Ghost
Culture’s debut is a brilliant fusion of
synth-pop, deep dub and machine-funk.

IF YOU LIKE DISCO

CERRONE

The Best of Cerrone Productions
(Because Music)

One of the godfathers of disco, Cerrone
has been producing dancefloor bombs
with epic strings, lush grooves and orgas-
mic vocals since the 70s. This ace double
CD features everything from seriously
funky songs like Phonic and Midnight Lady
to killer singles Supernature, Cerrone’s
Paradise and Love In C Minor.

NATALIE PRASS

Natalie Prass (Spacebomb)

Nashville’s answer to Dusty Springfield, Natalie Prass
composes beguiling torch-songs that ooze old-
fashioned romance, love and longing. Recorded with
Matthew E White and his Spacebomb collective, her
promising debut is packed with graceful songs that
fuse 50s swing, 60s soul and 70s funk with timeless
vocals.

NOVELLER

Fantastic Planet (Fire)

A prolific guitarist and composer, Noveller creates
dreamy soundscapes that experiment with texture,
tone and melody. There are layers of minimal synths,
strings and dark beats but the prominent sound on
Fantastic Planet is her rich, meandering guitar. One
minute droning, the next crescending, it’s mysterious
and deeply hypnotic.

NADINE SHAH

Stealing Cars

Newcastle’s finest returns with
this cool indie number with an-
themic guitar and gorgeously
restrained vocals.

LITTLE MAY

Dust

Sydney girl-group Little May
fuse spectral pop with campfire
folk on their lovely debut.

SEA CHANGE

Above

Oslo artist Sea Change layers
field recordings with sizzling
syth-pop on her deliciously
icy single.

DIVAMAG.CO.UK 31

"Impossibly charming.
Moving, joyous and enchanting
in equal measure,
take

■

THAT’S THESP9T

AN EXCLUSIVE SERVICE FOR WOMEN

> 1 M!\ !

That's The Spot is based in Cardiff, Wales. Founded and owned by Rhiannon,
a gay woman, you can book her in for an individual or a couples consultation or
get together with your friends for a soiree where you will get a chance to look
at the toys in 'real life' before deciding on what to buy.

That's The Spot's ultimate aim is to educate and empower women
in their sex toy buying experience.

Scan the QR code with a
smartphone to see more

www.thatsthespot.co.uk | rhiannon@thatsthespot.co.uk | shop.thatsthespot.co.uk | blog.thatsthespot.co.uk

WORDS JOANNA BENECKE (FILM), CARRIE LYELL (ONLINE). PHOTOS ICON FILM DISTRIBUTION, ADAM MARTIN COHEN,

A MOST VIOLENT YEAR

DirJC Chandor

I feared I was in for one of those period
mob movies populated by identikit men in
70s moustaches mumbling about “hits”,
but instead I got a tight film about
businessman Abel Morales (Oscar Isaac)
trying to live up to his name while
protecting his livelihood and family during
1981: the most dangerous year in NYC
history. Beautifully menacing cinematog-
raphy and score, along with a clever script
that doesn’t over-explain, make this a
thriller highlight. Jessica Chastain is on
fine form as Morales’ mobster wife, while
newcomer Annie Funke delights as the
efficient head of a rival business.

In cinemas 23 January

DANCING IN JAFFA

Dir Hilla Medalia

Ballroom dancer Pierre Dulaine returns to
his native Jaffa to start his innovative
Dancing Classrooms programme in this
unusual and enjoyable documentary.
Believing that he can ease Palestinian/
Israeli tensions by encouraging 10-year-
olds to merengue and cha-cha-cha across
cultural and religious divides, Pierre
sashays into schools and tries to persuade
pre-teens to dance politely with each
other. Can they overcome their natural
disinclination to touch a) members of the
opposite sex, b) members of other
religions? The personal lives of some of
the children and their families reveal just
how deep tensions run.

In cinemas 13 February

The Duke of Burgundy:
what filmmaking should be

THE DUKE OF BURGUNDY

Dir Peter Strickland

While I’m sad to say this is my final month as film editor for DIVA, I’m
delighted to be able to go out on a high with this wondrous film starring the
brilliant Sidse Babett Knudsen and Chiara D’Anna as lesbian lovers caught in a
surprisingly tender circle of BDSM, control and longing. Set against a backdrop
of butterfly research in a beautifully stylised 1960s parallel universe populated
entirely by women, Strickland never succumbs to the lure of style-over-sub-
stance, but keeps the focus on his characters. The result is an original, moving,
sweet, sorrowful yet frequently funny portrait of a relationship where the
balance of control is more complex than it appears. This is what filmmaking

should be. Thank you.

In cinemas 6 February

DVD

SERENA

Susanne Bier’s movie takes itself waaaay
seriously, but the female-focus of the J-
Law melodrama at least makes a change
from po-faced There-Will-Be-Blood male
fests. But why does no one in Ye Olden
Days rural America ever have a sense of
humour?

On sale 23 Feb (digital download from 16
Feb), rrp £17.99

LESBIAN MOVIE ROYALTY

NICOLE CONN

The founding mother of lesbian film is
fundraising for her new feature, Nesting
Doll. Please help her add to the oeuvre
that includes Claire of the Moon, Elena
Undone, A Perfect Ending and Little Man.
Just £7 will make a difference. If we want
more onscreen representation we gotta
fund it!

nicoleconn.com/dbout-nicole

HEP HEP HURRAH

KATHARINE HEPBURN

The gorgeously witty Hollywood legend
apparently swung both ways, with one
recent book claiming Kate had over 150
lesbian affairs. (I always thought she
looked great in slacks.) Catch all her hits,
including the rrroarsome Bringing Up
Baby, at the BFI.

BFI Katharine Hepburn season, 1 Feb-19
March, bfi.org

COMMUNIT

GENDER PLAYFUL

• THE LESBRARY

• ALEX BERTIE

Gender Playful is a community
project that celebrates diversity
in gender presentation and body
types. This lovely blog presents
fashion solutions for those of us
who skew gender expectations.

genderpldyful.com

The Lesbrary is on a quest to
read every lez word written,
and this comprehensive blog is
perfect for all you bookworms
who like your literature lesbian.

lesbrdry.com

A graphic designer from Dorset,
Alex has racked up over 65,000
subscribers to his channel where
he makes entertaining and
educational vlogs about his expe-
riences as a young trans man.

youtube.com/user/theredljdzzbertie

DIVAMAG.C0.UK 33

REVIEWS

We couldn’t be more chuffed that Mel Giedroyc and Sue Perkins are back with
their first daily chat show in over 16 years. The pair are warm, funny and
uplifting, and although we loved them on Bake Off, there’s something about
seeing them live that’s all the more enjoyable. Mel said: “We love live because
of the roughness round the edges, the excitement, the madness and stuff
going off on all sorts of weird tangents.” If you’ve not tuned in yet, you’ve
missed great celebrity guests like Jennifer Saunders and Dermot O’Leary - but
never fear, there are many more to come. Thing is, we’re already worrying

about what we’ll do when it’s over. How long ’til the next series of Bake Off?

See interview p24 1 ITV, weekdays, 4pm

WHAT WE'RE WATCHING

PRETTY LITTLE LIARS

Pretty Little Liars may have vanished from TV screens,
but the first five seasons are now available on Netflix
to watch at your leisure. Based on the novels by Sara
Shepard, it follows the lives of Aria, Hanna, Emily and
Spencer, four girls whose clique falls apart following
the disappearance of their leader, Alison. But the girls
are reunited when they begin receiving messages
from the mysterious A, hell-bent on revealing that
there’s more to their pretty little lives than it seems.
At first watch, the US teen drama might seem like
vapid fluff, but bear with it because it does get better.
Series 1-5 are available on Netflix now.

A NSTFLIX ORIGINAL S(R»E5

HOUSEBaof CARDS

NEW SERIES ALERT!

HOUSE OF CARDS

We’re so excited about the third season of this
fascinating, fast-paced political thriller starring Kevin
Spacey. A Netflix Original, the first two seasons were
incredibly popular, picking up huge audiences and
an Emmy along the way, and we’re sure it’s going to
be just as popular when the new series drops on 27
February. Like Orange Is The New Black, all episodes
are released at once, but do try to pace yourself. At
least a little bit, anyway, because rumour has it this
might be the last season. Need a refresher? Seasons 1
and 2 are available on Netflix now.

Netflix, 27 Feb

COP DRAMA

THE MYSTERIES OF LAURA

Starting on 5USA this
month, The Mysteries
of Laura is a new cop
drama starring Debra
Messing (Will and
Grace), Josh Lucas
(A Beautiful Mind)
and The L Word’s
Janina Gavankar ( pictured ) as Laura’s rival
Meredith, a detective who does things
strictly by the book.

CRIME DRAMA

TRUE DETECTIVE

Out lesbian actress
Emily Rios (Breaking
Bad) has been cast
in series two of the
addictive and grip-
ping True Detective.
Another reason to
add it to your binge list, if you haven’t
already.

SUPER ORIGINS

GOTHAM

Part two of the
Batman origin story
Gotham kicks off on
Channel 5 this month.

The first part had
over two million of
us hooked as badass
lesbian detective Renee Montoya (Victoria
Cartagena (pictured), The Good Wife)
tried to win back her ex, Detective James
Gordon’s fiancee Barbara Kean.

COMEDY

NURSE JACKIE

Series six of the Golden Globe-nominated
Nurse Jackie is confirmed for a return to
Sky Atlantic this month. Edie Falco reprises
her role as a drug-addicted nurse in one
of our favourite dark comedies.

34 FEBRUARY 2015

WORDS CARRIE LYELL, PHOTOS PETER GREY/ITV, BRIE CHILDERS, FOX/CHANNEL 5

WORDS EDEN CARTER WOOD, KAREN CAMPBELL

REVIEWS

YA FICTION

UNSPEAKABLE

Abbie Rushton

Fifteen-year-old Megan
hasn’t spoken in months,
but when she strikes up
a friendship with effer-
vescent new classmate Jasmine it seems
like things might just get better. Megan
is keeping some scary secrets, however,
and their blossoming relationship is soon
threatened in this fast-paced thriller.

Atom Press, £6.99

SUGAR SUGAR HALL

Tiffany Murray

Easter, 1955. Young Dieter
'" lj ' Mu,n > Sugar sees a naked boy
in a shining collar in
the shed at mouldy,
moth-ridden Sugar Hall. His mother,

Lilia, doesn’t believe him, but it becomes
quickly apparent that the past has quite
literally come back to haunt their family in
this well told, very chilly ghost story.

Seren Books, £8.99 eBook £5.99

ANTHROPOLOGY

CHERRY GROVE,
FIRE ISLAND

Esther Newton

Anew edition of this 1993
title documenting the
sexual and political past
of the famous gay and lesbian resort com-
munity. Covering parties, drag, wealth,
race, police harassment and prejudice,
a section titled The Lesbian Minority
1936-1980 records women’s experiences.
Duke University Press, £15.99

ART/POLITICS

PHOTOGRAPHY
AS ACTIVISM

Michelle Bogre

“Don’t mourn - photo-
graph.” Part call to action, part academic
analysis, Bogre’s study examines activist
photography’s political intent and effect
on social reform. This informative, at times
shocking collection of essays, interviews
and images includes a useful resource list
for budding photographers with a cause.
Focal Press, £20.99

SHORT FICTION

ANY OTHER MOUTH

Anneliese Mackintosh

Bereavement, anger, sex, mental
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Karen Campbell’s supernatural crime novel The Knowing is
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1014

WINNER

Megan Abbott's intelligent and
disturbing crime fiction puts female
friendship in the frame, from the 1930s
to the present day.

DIVA: Your early novels, the noirs,
are each set in distinctly different
eras. What drew you to those par-
ticular times?

MEGAN ABBOTT: The first book, Die
A Little, is in the 50s. I was interested
in having a character who was a
school teacher in the 50s because it
was such an era of contrasts between
this heavy propriety and all-American
family, contrasted with this underbel-
ly that was also present, this feeling
of transgression and a time when
the Mob was taking over gambling.
Queenpin is set almost in no time,
to me it's set in noir world, it's not
a particular time. And then Bury Me
Deep is set in the early 30s. I was
fascinated by how marginal existence
for a young woman in the Depression
[might be], her dwindling circumstanc-
es and where that might leave her, the
relationships between women both
being a potential rescue and salvation
but also problematic because every-
one's fighting for survival, too.

What made you decide to come up-
to-date in your last three novels?

I felt there was a little bit of a creative
rut and then I became interested in the
idea of pursuing the same noir themes
in contemporary times. I totally under-
stand why to anybody else they would
look like this huge turn but to me
they're the same concerns and fascina-
tions. They are really about women on
the edge, transgressive females. To me
they are all connected - it's just the
setting that's changed.

In all your books the relationships
between the female characters are
the motor that drives the story.

What is it about female friendships
that makes them such fertile crea-
tive ground for you?

I think they're still so under-explored.
To me, female friendships are very

CRIME WRITER
MEGAN
ABBOTT
EXPLORES
THE DARK
BUSINESS
OF BEING A
WOMAN

INTERVIEW

LOUISE CAROLIN

"What all
of us really
want when
we read Is
to get Into
the muck
of life"

36 FEBRUARY 2015

l ib MEGAN ABBOTT

complicated and filled with nuance,
because of the way that women are
socialised to deal with conflict differ-
ently. We read so much about how
men interact with other men, and how
men and women interact, but so little
about women and the ways in which
they're forced to communicate in a dif-
ferent fashion. Girl friendships can be
like grand romantic affairs and often
the most significant of one's life, and
that feels really underexplored and re-
ally significant to most women I know.

I've heard it described as misogynist
to portray women's relationships
as inherently unreliable or untrust-
worthy. How would you answer that
charge if it was levelled at you?

Boy, I would say that to me misogynist,
destructive views of gender are to imply
that women are really simple and they
just want to go shopping with their
female friends. It really flattens women
and their friendships out and takes all
the richness of them away. I think what
all of us really want when we read a
book is to get into the muck of life.

Not all your stories have lesbian or
bisexual narratives but several do
and it's evidently a really compelling
dynamic for you. Do you identify as
gay or bi yourself?

I don't; I am basically straight but I
am a believer in the continuum of
sexuality and that's something I like
to explore in my books. Bury Me Deep
[features] what is clearly a gay relation-
ship, although the characters wouldn't
necessarily have called it such. If you
look at their behaviour, certainly in my
novel Dare Me, it really is a love affair
between those two girls and it's gone
wrong. They wouldn't identify it as
such and people have read Dare Me
and missed it completely, even though
they make out! To me, desire is so fluid,
and noir is a great way to explore that
because desire underlies so much that
goes on.

Thinking about the idea of the
femme fatale, it's interesting to try

to identify who she might be in each
of your books. Often the character
with her finger on the destruct but-
ton looks like somebody else's victim
to me. What does the archetype of
the femme fatale mean to you?

I've always subscribed to that notion
that the femme fatale in noir is not an
actual person, it's this projection of
male anxiety about the power of wom-
en, but that's also their power, so that
they have this immense hold over the
other characters and the reader. But I
always wanted to go behind the femme
fatale and animate her in some way,
and to give her depth and blood. And
then she really does look different, she
looks like a survivor, looks like someone
who has found herself too much at the
mercy of foolish men and sometimes
foolish women. And the funny thing is
that she often then doesn't appear as
a femme fatale; she looks different if
you're looking at her from the inside. I
think the closest I've come to a classic
femme fatale is Queenpin, but that's a
woman looking at another woman as
a femme fatale, which I think makes it
feel different too.

Dare Me is convincingly set in the
intensely competitive world of high
school cheerleaders. Where do you
get your inside track on teenage
girls?

Like many women, I remember that
time in my life more intensely than any
other. It's the time that the weight of
culture comes crashing in and you're
trying to forge yourself. So I certainly
have my own memories of complicated
friendships and triangles; all of that is
at fever pitch at that age. But being a
teenager is really different now because
of technology, it amplifies everything
because of how connected they are at
all times. I did a lot of online eavesdrop-
ping among cheerleader groups in
forums and chat rooms, mostly about
how they felt about cheerleading as a
sport, their competitiveness with each
other, their one-upmanship, their hard
military rigour, but also the notion of
never not being on display now that

you're hooked in 24 hours a day with
each other, so you're always fashioning
a self because you're never really alone
when you're constantly texting and on
social media. You know, some teenag-
ers sleep with their phone in their bed.
So it was sort of folding that into my
own memories.

You come back to teenage girls with
your most recent book, The Fever,
based on true-life events. Can you
tell me more about that?

Eighteen girls at this small-town high
school in upstate New York developed
these mysterious motor and vocal tics
and when the story broke in the States
I saw them on TV. At the time they had
no diagnosis, or no diagnosis they were
happy with, and they were so panicky.
There was this weird moment when
[an interviewer] asked one of the girls
if she was angry that she didn't know
what was happening to her and the
girl, who was a cheerleader, said, "Yes,
I'm angry", but as she said it she was
smiling. It was both creepy - because
the whole thing was creepy - but also
so telling to me. It was an automatic
thing to smile when an adult asks
you a question, when you're on TV ...
You're not ever supposed to be angry
if you're a teenage girl and a cheer-
leader. So even saying it, "I'm angry",
she had to mitigate it by smiling. That
fascinated me. It seemed like a great
way to explore the contradictions and
complexities of being a teenage girl in
a world that has a very limited view of
how important you should be.

Are you working on your next book?

I am and it's about the mother of a
gymnastics prodigy. I'm really
interested in those families where
everything is invested in the extraor-
dinariness of one child and the family
operates around that and everyone's
supporting that. It's a very psychologi-
cally odd dynamic. And something
bad happens, obviously! ©

The Fever is published by Picador.

DIVAMAG.CO.UK 37

ou're welcome to
smoke," Maggi Ham-
bling instructs rather
than offers. As we
climb the stairs of her
south London house,
she's already cough-
ing and carrying not
one but two packets
of cigarettes from a
large multipack on the kitchen table.
"Oh, thank you, but I don't," I reply.
"Shame," she says, as we reach her
studio, which she describes as "the
world's largest ash tray".

ANNA MCNAY
VISITS THE
ARTIST MAGGI
HAMBLING AT
HER SOUTH
LONDON
STUDIO

Maggi, who turns 70 later this year,
closed 2014 with a pair of exhibitions
showing her Walls of Water series -
paintings in the National Gallery and
monotypes at Marlborough Fine Art.
Her sea paintings began back in 2002 -
30 November to be precise - when she
witnessed a huge storm with extraor-
dinarily high waves crashing into the
sea wall at Southwold. The paintings
are large and powerful, expressions
of her enduring love affair with oil
paint, which is "very sexy stuff, right?"

I overheard some visitors to the gallery
talking about their masculinity. "Well,

as Picasso said," Maggi snorts, "we're
all partly male and partly female and
you have to bring the whole thing to-
gether to make a work of art. However
long a painting takes to make, you
have to bring the whole thing together
into one moment. I try to make that
moment as intense as falling in love."

But are her sea paintings about love
or sex, I wonder. "Well, the incoming
wave, coming in gradually and then
crashing down, is an orgasmic mo-
ment. So sex is there. And death, of
course. Life and death together, I hope,
however pretentious that sounds. I

38 FEBRUARY 2015

I INTERVIEW I MAGGI HAMBLING I

think great art always has this ability
of bringing life and death together"
Her forthcoming exhibition, Maggi
Hambling: War Requiem And After-
math, certainly includes works on this
theme. "The point being," Maggi ex-
plains, "war seems always to have been
and it doesn't seem to stop. And we all
sit there and watch the news on televi-
sion and it just goes past us: people
o being killed, houses being burnt and
| all the rest of it. I still have this belief
5 that oil paint can do something that
g photography can't."

£ In addition to paintings and a film

of her installation at SNAP (Art At The
Aldeburgh Festival, summer 2013), the
exhibition will include a number of
Aftermath sculptures, originating from
logs. "I find these bits of wood every-
where, and if they suggest something, I
encourage them to become that thing.
They're sort of inspired by worn-away
graves, where you can see faces, and
gargoyles and relics."

Not long ago, Maggi spoke of ap-
proaching her early middle age. "I still
say that," she nods. "I gave up arithme-
tic at 11 - I couldn't understand it and
I still can't. But even I could see that
50 was half of 100 so that made sense
and I felt I was halfway there. And then
60, of course, you know you're in the
second half, and that's when I bought
a Bentley. Sixty was more of a problem
than 50. But I don't think I feel any-
thing in particular about turning 70.
Things have changed so much. I don't
think 70 is old now. Look at the things
people do right up into their 90s. And
I do actually feel younger; I feel I'm
painting much more freely than I ever
have, there's some unleashed thing, I'm
much less inhibited."

Her lack of inhibition caused
something of a stir last year, when
she made racially insensitive remarks
about the film 12 Years A Slave. Speak-
ing at University Campus Suffolk in
Ipswich, Maggi said that "slaves would
be very handy" and she "wouldn't
mind a few".

"Christ! Christmas!" she exclaims
when reminded of this. "It was a joke!

I hadn't even said black slaves - slaves
are all colours, as we know. I mean,
where's your sense of humour? All
this effing political correctness! Some-
body asked me the other day what
it was about the spirit of Soho and I
said, 'No political correctness!' People
could get very drunk, smoke, do drugs
and say what they thought. It was all
very refreshing. Nowadays people are
afraid of saying anything."

So does she not regret saying what
she did? "I stand by the fact that it
was taken completely out of context.
I've stood up for minorities all my life.
To suddenly be accused of racism,

I couldn't believe it. It's not a very
sophisticated reaction to my remark.
I'm not going to let it stop me saying
what I think. I'm not known for keep-
ing quiet about things."

Indeed, even Maggi's car is outspo-
ken: "She's called Marilyn. She's a big

“Mart
always lias
this ability
of bring-
ing life
and death
together”

gangsta car and I've had her pimped to
within an inch of her life. I've added as
much chrome as I could and she's three
colours. Her number plate is H10 GAY.

I spaced it HI 0 GAY. People saw it and
laughed but I got followed back in Suf-
folk by policemen - can you imagine?

- three times, about the number plate
having the wrong spacing. Finally I got
fed up. I mean, haven't they got better
things to do than question the spacing
on my registration?"

Maggi is not at all fond of the word
"lesbian". "I much prefer the word
'dyke' but I gather that if you're not a
dyke, it's quite rude to say that word

- all this political correctness again."
She's also not keen on "all of those let-
ters, what are they? LGBT ... It sounds
like a trade union or something. I don't
know why we can't all just be queer
together".

Asked which other out and proud
lesbians she looks up to, Maggi laughs
a long, raucous laugh and exclaims:
"Oh, Gordon Bennett!" After a long
pause she hesitantly suggests that
"Carol Ann Duffy is a pretty great
poet and one has wonderful nostal-
gic visions of Virginia Woolf and Vita
Sackville-West and Gertrude Stein
and Sappho, I suppose. But people
whose whole thing in life is that they
are queer, you know, I think that's
quite boring. If a great actor happens
to be queer, or a great artist happens
to be queer, well, great, but there are
plenty of straight actors and straight
artists too, you know. Oscar Wilde is a
huge source of inspiration for a lot of
people, I think, but he doesn't happen
to be a lesbian."

And it is following an Oscar Wilde
quote that Maggi likes to live her
artistic life: "'When the critics are
divided, the artist is at one with
himself.' Some people hate my work,
some people love my work, some
people are indifferent to it. Once I've
made the thing and it's left the studio,
it's got a life of its own. I can't go
round mothering it everywhere. I'm
always into the thrills and spills of the
next bit of work by then anyway." ©

Maggi Hambling: War Requiem And Aftermath will
be on show at the Cultural Institute at King’s, Inigo
Rooms, Somerset House East Wing, Strand WC2R
2LS, from 4 March-31 May. A book of the same title,
by James Cahill, will be published by Unicorn Press
to coincide with the exhibition, RRP £30.

DIVAMAG.CO.UK 39

1 HAVE ALWAYS WANTED TO BE
JUST A PAIR OF EYES, WALKING
THROUGH THE WORLD UNSEEN,
ONLY TO BE ABLE TO SEE OTHERS”

ANNA MCNAY
INTRODUCES
THE WORK OF
THE GERMAN
ARTIST JEANNE
MAMMEN

Born in Berlin, brought up in the
well-to-do Parisian suburb of Passy,
and educated in art in Paris, Brussels
and Rome, German painter and
graphic artist Jeanne Mammen
(1890-1976) returned to Berlin in her
mid-20s, where she set up a small
studio at Kurfurstendamm 29. She

lived and worked here for over 50
years, providing for herself by selling
her illustrations to fashion and
satirical magazines. She was never
without her sketchbook and
especially liked to draw women,
whom she portrayed in a gentle and
understanding way, poignantly

depicting them in their social
background. ©

For further information about Jeanne Mammen
visit jednne-mdmmen.de, or contact Cornelia
Pastelak-Price at the Forderverein of the
Jeanne-Mammen-Stiftung eV:
cornpdprice@gmx.net.

Fishing Goldfish,
C1925.

Pencil and watercolour
on paper.

Origindl wheredbouts
unknown.

Published in: Der
Junggeselle, Heft 45,

1 Jg, November 1925
© VG Bild-Kunst Bonn
dnd DACS, London 2014
Photo: Archive
Forderverein der
Jednne-Mdmmen-
Stiftung eV, Berlin

Mammen drew the
ideal female types
of the 1920s: the
vamp, the diva and
the garconne. Art
deco-style figures
with bobbed hair,
pale make-up and
small red mouths. She
created narratives
within her pictures. In
Fishing Goldfish, the
women are shown
fishing for the men,
who will afford them
luxury and pleasure.
The sly devil in the
top left hand corner
is seen waiting to
catch his prey.

40 FEBRUARY 2015

ALL IMAGES ©DACS 2014

I PORTFOLIO I JEANNE MAMMEN I

She Represents
(Fasching Scene),
C1928.

Pencil and watercolour
on paper, 42x30.4 cm.
Privdte collection,
Berlin.

London 2014.
Photographer: Mdthids
Schormann, Berlin.

Mammen painted
the expanding
metropolis of Berlin
in the “Golden
Twenties”, with its
theatres, cabarets
and a flourishing
lesbian subculture of
“ladies’ clubs”. The
red in She Represents
captures the heat
and excitement of
one such club, where
the main couple act
out the butch-
femme dynamic,
commonplace at
homosocial events.

DIVAMAG.CO.UK 41

PORTFOLIO I JEANNE MAMMEN I

Jealousy,

C1930-1932.

Lithograph in black
and yellow, 56.2
x 40.32 cm.

Ackland Art Museum,
The University of
North Cerolind,

Chapel Hill, USA
©VGBild-Kunst
Bonn end DACS,

London 2014.

Photo: Archive
Fordervereinder
Jeonne-Mommen-
Stiftung eV, Berlin.

Jealousy belongs to a
series of lithographs
produced to illustrate
a special edition of
Les Chansons De Bilitis
(The Songs Of Bilitis),
a collection of erotic
poetry in the manner
of Sappho by French
writer Pierre Louys.

The Songs tell of the
life of a courtesan
in Mytilene, on the
island of Lesbos.

The emotions in this
work are strong: the
look of defiance, the
lover’s tight clasp, her
kneeling and pleading.

42 FEBRUARY 2015

Two Women Dancing,
C1928.

Watercolour and
graphite on wove
paper, 48 x 36 cm.
Privdte collection,
Berlin.

©VGBild-Kunst
BonnondDACS,
London 2014.
Photogropher: Volker
H Schneider, Berlin.

Mammen’s works
express sympathy
-sometimes even
empathy -with her
subjects, rather than
pity or disdain for
them - something
which sets her apart
from contemporary
German male artists
Otto Dix and George
Grosz. Scholar Laurel
Lampela argues that
such intimate and
tender paintings
of lesbian couples
could only have
been made from
experience, but her
only known intimate
relationship was with
artist HansUhlmann.

DIVAMAG.CO.UK 43

Although often overlooked, inter-
war London was host to fascinating
spaces of cultural and ethnic diversity,
particularly in music and the arts and
in the East End, where Africans and
Asians lived and worked as part of the
multi-ethnic dock communities. Even
less well known are the significant
communities and individuals based in
Bloomsbury, Fitzrovia and Soho where
writers, students, activists and per-
formers of African and Asian heritage
lived and socialised.

Several black artists, writers and
performers took part in the cosmo-
politan groupings of London's artistic
avant-garde, from the Bloomsbury
Group and the “Bright Young People"
to Chelsea-based artists. Though many
formed important friendships and
romantic and sexual relationships,
black artists and performers were also
exoticised and objectified, experienc-
ing racism as well as celebrity within
these circles.

Among the personal photographs
and letters held at Tate Archives are
records of some of the queer black
figures within these spaces, who have
often been marginalised or ignored in
histories of the period. The archives of
Edward Burra and Barbara Ker-Seymer
hold a number of beautiful photo-
graphs of black actors and performers
who worked in London during the
1920s and 1930s, including Jimmie
Daniels and Edna Thomas. A selection
of these images and documents are
currently on display at Tate Britain as
part of the spotlight display Spaces of
Black Modernism.

In the early 1920s a friendship
group formed amongst some Chelsea
art-school students, which was to
continue for several decades and was
based partly on a shared love of jazz
music, music halls and performance,
as well as cinema, theatre and art;
their friendships were also sustained
through a mass of letter writing. The
queer British artist Edward Burra ar-
rived at Chelsea College of Art in 1921
at almost 16 years of age and became
friends with fellow students Billy
Chappell, Clover Pritchard and Barbara
Ker-Seymer. This group has been docu-
mented in a biography of Burra by Jane
Stevenson.

During the 1930s Ker-Seymer
became an important and skilled
modernist photographer, influenced
by German expressionism. In the late

44 FEBRUARY 2015

IMAGES TATE (EDWARD BURRA, PHOTO FROM THE PAPERS OF BARBARA KER-SEYMER), ELISABETH WELCH PHOTO ARCHIVE (COURTESY OF STEPHEN BOURNE)

FEATURE I QUEER BLACK HISTORY I

1920s she'd begun working as an assis-
tant for the aristocratic photographer
Olivia Wyndham. Soon afterwards
they started seeing one another and
Barbara moved into Olivia's Chelsea
home at 19 King's Road. Here they so-
cialised with upper-class lesbians such
as the American heiress Ruth Baldwin
and Dolly Wilde, Oscar Wilde's niece,
along with others including Burra,
who visited Ker-Seymer and Wyndham
often. The couple lived close by Ruth
Baldwin and her female partner Joe
Carstairs, a wealthy motorboat racer.
They also socialised with others in the
"Bright Young People" group. In June
1930 author Evelyn Waugh recorded
attending a Thames steam-boat party
hosted by Olivia Wyndham and Ruth
Baldwin, which he noted in his diary
was attended by "masses of little
lesbian tarts and joyboys".

During this period, Barbara was
taking everyday snapshots of her
circle of gay and lesbian friends, and
pictured at different times in the
1920s and 1930s are black members of
her social group, preserved either as
loose photographs or within a series
of personal scrapbooks. Among them
is a small snap of a group of Barbara's
friends (shown, right), where they sit
and stand next to what appears to be a
motorcar. Pictured in the photograph
are Ruth Baldwin, probably Dolly Wilde
and Barbara, along with two others
including a woman of African heritage
whose identity and biography we are
currently trying to uncover.

By the late 1920s Barbara had
become friends with the bisexual
Grenadian cabaret entertainer Leslie
Hutchinson and we have included
one of her pocket book diaries from
1929 in our display, which includes an
entry for a party given by Hutchinson.
Black queer avant-garde figures based
in Britain in the 1930s also appear
in the Ker-Seymer archive. From the
early 1930s Barbara became good
friends with the African American gay
entertainer and nightclub host Jimmie
Daniels and his boyfriend Kenneth
Macpherson, a Scottish modernist
filmmaker and critic who earlier in 1930
had directed Borderline, a feature film
starring Paul Robeson and Eslanda
Robeson. Daniels was born in Texas in
1908 and after training and working
as a secretary in New York, he secured
work on Broadway before moving on
to professional singing. He went on

GEMMA
ROMAIN GOES
INTO THE
ARCHIVES TO
DISCOVER THE
QUEER BLACK
ARTISTS AND
PERFORMERS
OF LONDON
BETWEEN
THE WARS

Everyday
snapshots
of Barbara
Ker-

Seymer’s

circle

include

black

members

other

social

group

to tour all over Europe in the 1930s,
including London from 1933 to1934.
Later in the 1930s Jimmie Daniels and
Kenneth Macpherson moved to New
York, where they socialised with indi-
viduals including Barbara's (by then)
ex-girlfriend Olivia Wyndham and
Olivia's girlfriend, African American
Harlem Renaissance performer Edna
Thomas. (Edna Thomas also appears in
the Ker-Seymer photographic archive.)
Edna was an actor who had lived in
London for a time.

With this return to New York,
Jimmie Daniels established himself as
an influential entertainer and host of
club nights, with sexually and racially
diverse patrons. The photographs in
the Tate Archive give us an insight into
the personal, day-to-day relationship
between Macpherson and Daniels,
the holidays they took together, the
friendship groups they were a part of,
their love of music and performance,
and Daniels' love of artistic expres-
sionism in photography through the
experimental poses he undertook for
Barbara Ker-Seymer.

In Barbara's personal photo album
from 1936 we also see that dur-
ing the 1930s she was friends with
singer, actress and performer Elisabeth
Welch. Born in 1904, Elisabeth Welch
was an American of African, Native
American, Irish and Scottish heritage.
Stephen Bourne's insightful biography
of Welch records her experiences in
1930s London. During this time she
performed in musicals and cabaret,
and starred on radio, on television and
in films alongside actors including Paul
Robeson. She was good friends with
Leslie Hutchinson, socialising
with him, as she recalled, in
"the marvellous late-night
dives of Soho which, in those
days, attracted all the stars
and theatregoers". Welch is
photographed by Ker-Seymer
in a compelling series of solo
portraits as well as informal
snapshots with friends includ-
ing Jimmie Daniels.

These stories do not
reveal the full diversity of the
queer black and white
experience in the interwar
period, particularly in
regards to class. But the
friendship networks
revealed through the
production and archiving of

these personal and professional
images do highlight some of the
fascinating interwar experiences
relating to art, politics, sexuality and
identity as well as the presence of
black queer life in interwar London,
and the complex histories and
personal interactions within LGBTQ
life in general during the period. Much
more is to be uncovered and docu-
mented, and exploring archives such
as these is an important way to
achieve the uncovering of marginal-
ised histories. ©

Dr Gemma Romain is a historian based at the
Equiano Centre, Department of Geography,
University College London (@EQCentre). She is
part of the team of women scholars who curated
Spaces of Black Modernism, which is at Tate Britain
until 4 October 2015.

divamag.co.uk

PHOTO ©MARTIN LESANTO-SMITH 2014

I FEATURE I BIRD LA BIRD I

ADDITIONAL
DIGITAL
CONTENT

More information on p5 I divddigitdl.co.uk

o participate in one of Bird
la Bird's history tours is to
be shown things that are
easy to overlook but which,
once seen, reveal uncom-
fortable secrets embedded
within the everyday.

With gigs at the National Portrait
Gallery and the Victoria and Albert
Museum and in the City (London's
financial district) under her belt, Bird
demonstrates how class, gender, race,
colonialism, disability and sexuality
are present in the bricks and mortar
of the establishment. Like picking up
a stone to see what lies beneath, she
exposes unsettling surprises like the
renowned gallery built on the site of a
workhouse, the ornate staircase built
on the cheap by incarcerated women,
the sexual subtext of a sacred object
and the toxic working conditions of
cleaners.

An Eastender originally from
Liverpool, Bird has been developing
her craft for about eight years and
classifies her work “somewhere in
the middle of performance art and
comedy". With her tattoos, bleached
hair, high femme sensibility and love of
costume, Bird is unmistakeable as she
guides people through buildings and
streets. “When I go in and do some-
thing in a museum, the background
becomes part of the overall storytell-
ing," she says, “so it's an immersive
experience. I never just get on stage in
my own clothes, I don't work like that.
It's about audio-visual sumptuousness
really."

A Bird la Bird tour emerges from
an engagement with history and
sociology, she is a researcher as well

as a performer, and there is usually
a lengthy development process with
trusted collaborators. She explains: “I
absolutely love history, I love personal
histories, I love recent history, queer
history, black history, women's his-
tory, working class history." But she
has a particular take on this: “I'm not
interested in the people who wrote
books, made art, even though that's all
very exciting. What about the people
in that era who didn't have a chance
to speak? People blab on about Anne
Lister as being one of the most famous
British historic lesbian figures, and yet
she was really horrible to the staff on
her estate and she made them all vote
Tory. I think it's really important to
talk about that as well as celebrating
them."

Bird sees what she does as “en-
couraging people to understand that
anger is a legitimate response in a
museum". Of her own experience she
says: “I noticed I became really angry
when I got to just outside the door. You
know sometimes when you're talking
to someone and you get that kind of
bristly energy because you know that
there's something going on? I found
that when I talked to the very nice staff
in the museum, that I had that feeling.
So what I did was that I went back and
I decided that rather than seeing the
anger as being illegitimate and shame-
ful that actually I would walk into it as
an artist." She is interested in exploring
the complicated feelings that arise from
institutional silence around exclusion
and injustice in a context where there
are rare and exquisite objects on dis-
play. Bird comments: “It is like holding
the fact that I am angry, and holding

CHARLOTTE

COOPER

MEETS

RESEARCHER,
PERFORMER
AND HISTORY
BUFF BIRD
LA BIRD

"It’s about
the murky,
visceral
nature of
history,
and the
impact it
has on us"

the fact that I am being seduced at the
same time. You have these two contra-
dictory things going on."

Alongside the anger, a fundament
of Bird's performance is that it has to
be funny. She remarks: “The LOL part
of what I do is so important because
this isn't about taking the high moral
ground, it's not about morality, it's
about talking about the murky, vis-
ceral nature of history, and the impact
that history continues to have on us."
She continues: “For me humour is a
very disarming thing, it's a bit like the
moment that you sneeze, you might
have this involuntary reaction. I think
it's a wonderful space to operate in a
political way."

Not surprisingly, audiences can't
get enough of her. If you go on one of
her tours, you'll see a crowd that
swells as more people want to join in.
What Bird does is make space for all
kinds of folks who would not normally
be found in a museum. It is a fantastic
experience to see yourself reflected in
the people around you, the atmos-
phere feels as though we're getting
away with something sneaky and cool
together. Bird reflects: “What I like
about bringing people together and
making them laugh, is that all of a
sudden you get this group together
belly-laughing, there's a collectivity in
it and all of a sudden there's some-
thing about that moment when we
laugh that actually brings people
together just for those moments. I
really like to do that." ©

See Bird la Bird at the Wallace Collection, the
Southbank and the Tate in February/March. For
dates visit birdldbird.co.uk.

DIVAMAG.CO.UK 47

hen I was
growing up,
same-sex
marriage
wasn't legal.
Not that it
bothered
me too
much. Back
then, I

thought marriage was the most awful
thing in the world. Growing up, most of
the relationships around me - includ-
ing my parents' - had broken down
and I fancied myself as something of a
feminist anyway so the whole notion
seemed outdated and ridiculous. I
came out when I was 16, and my mum
(bless her) had a bit of a cry, mourn-
ing the wedding I would never have.

I snorted that even if I was straight,

I wouldn't get married anyway. And
while growing up in a heterosexist
world wasn't always easy, there was
a part of me that felt quite privileged
that by virtue of being attracted to
women, I managed to dodge the kind
of questions about marriage (and
babies) that my straight friends were
plagued with. It was just presumed
that marriage was something I would
never do. Something I could never do.

"Many lesbians, especially over a
certain age, had no expectation that
they would ever grow up to have
a wedding. Gay women, especially,
haven't spent any time dreaming of
a storybook wedding in the way that
some women might have - even reluc-
tantly, under pressure from their par-
ents or family," says June Thomas from
Slate.com. But that all changed with
the introduction of civil partnerships
in 2005. Not only had we achieved
legal recognition, but society was shift-
ing and so were we. Our relationships
moved out of the shadows and onto
prime-time television. Suddenly, aunt-
ies desperate to buy a hat were asking
probing questions about whether my
partner and I wanted to get married,
and - to my horror - I did.

I was 26 when my wife and I had
our civil partnership in 2012. Many of
my queer friends who had been vocal
about their opposition to marriage
were also shopping for rings or writing
to their MP to demand full marriage
equality. The voices of dissent - from
inside and outside of our communities
- fell almost silent and suddenly some-
thing that just a few years previously
had been an impossible dream of the
loony left was becoming a reality. Who

TEN YEARS
SINCE THE IN-
TRODUCTION
OF CIVIL PART-
NERSHIPS,

AND ALMOST
A YEAR SINCE
THE FIRST
SAME-SEX
MARRIAGES IN
ENGLAND AND
WALES, HOW
HAVE THEY
CHANGED US?

WORDS CARRIE LYELL

could have predicted that just nine
years after the introduction of civil
partnerships, we'd see a Conservative
prime minister champion legislation
once considered radical?

2014 was a landmark year for same-
sex marriage rights in the UK. Couples
in England and Wales were able to
marry in March, while the first Scottish
ceremonies took place on Hogmanay
- leaving only Northern Irish couples
waiting for legislation. Many couples
who were in a civil partnership took
advantage of a process allowing them
to convert to marriage, and married
gay couples were fast becoming the
new normal. Not so much revolution-
ary anymore, but very ordinary. And
that change is reflected in how young
queer people today think of marriage.
What happened? Brian Heaphy, profes-
sor of sociology at the University of
Manchester believes that generational
dynamics are key to understanding
the shift in how we view marriage has
changed. In his paper, Civil Partner-
ship And Ordinary Marriages, he says:
"Until relatively recently, personal
and broader cultural narratives of
same-sex relationships were framed in
terms of 'otherness'. Nowadays, such
narratives are as - if not more - likely

48 FEBRUARY 2015

FEATURE

SAME-SEX MARRIAGE

to be framed in terms of 'ordinariness'
with a focus on security, stability and
respect."

A lot has changed since a 2001
study, four years before the introduc-
tion of civil partnerships, which found
that while most LGBT people believed
in equal marriage, only a small minor-
ity actually had any desire to be mar-
ried themselves. The authors of Same-
Sex Intimacies: Families Of Choice And
Other Life Experiments noted: "Most
non-heterosexuals... think that they
should have the choice to get married,
a small minority would like to get
married, there are also those who feel
that... their relationships are - or have
the potential - to be radically differ-
ent from heterosexual relationships.
And thus, marriage is perceived to be
a restrictive institution of the state,
epitomising the worst aspects of het-
erosexuality with its prescribed gender
roles and unequal power balance."

Today, the story is very different.

A whopping 84% of respondents to a
Survey Monkey poll by DIVA said that
marriage was important, with 65%
saying they were definitely considering
marriage in the future. Only 10% were
opposed to the idea. Those young peo-
ple, Heaphy says, are the "narrators of
the new realities of same-sex relation-
ships". Instead of rejecting marriage or
redefining it as our elders expressed a
desire to do, it seems today's youth are
keen to replicate conventional mar-
riage practices - those of their parents,
for example. Whereas some older
lesbians spent many years emphasising
the differences between their relation-
ships and heterosexual marriages,
today the dominant discourse seems
to be emphasising the sameness. From
the ceremony to the relationship itself,
many young people are keen to fit in,
not stand out.

Monika married her girlfriend
when she was 23. "It wasn't an actual
wedding. It was a civil partnership
ceremony, but we really wanted eve

rything to happen like it happens with
'proper' weddings," she said. "We both
wore dresses, we had a massive cer-
emony, everything was just perfect."
But two months after the wedding,
the couple broke up. "It completely
broke my heart and I didn't know what
to do. I tried to find a reason why she
made this decision but she wouldn't
even speak to me." A year a half later,
Monika says she's "100% sure" that she
would never get married again. "It's
just not worth it," she says.

Sarah Perry, 24, says that while
she and her fiancee are not a "particu-
larly traditional" couple, they felt that
marriage was "the next logical step".
"We're no different from any hetero-
sexual couple wanting to start their
lives together," she said. "Marriage, to
us, is about becoming one unit in every
sense of the word. We will be amongst
the first couples to be able to get
married in this country, making history,
and hopefully making it just a little bit
easier for the next generation to come
into a world where 'gay marriage' is
known just as 'marriage'."

And while Catherine and Charlotte
say marriage isn't right for everyone,
it's right for them. The couple met
when they were 12, and Catherine says,
"As insane as it sounds, I knew I loved
her then." The couple spent years see-
ing other people, but there was always
a chemistry between them. "By the
time I was 19, we were both in very un-
happy relationships. We finally decided
to bite the bullet, left our partners and
started seeing each other. And hon-
estly, I've never experienced happiness
like it." Last June, they married. "Mar-
riage isn't for everyone, but marrying
the woman I loved all along has saved
my life," she said.

How has this change happened in
such a short space of time? Heaphy
believes it might be because young
people today have grown up without
as much of a sense of otherness as
their elders, and in contrast to previ-

ous generations, the majority of young
queer people - at least in the UK - are
not estranged from their families be-
cause of their sexuality. Family, in most
cases, have been accepting - like that
of Emily Holmes, 25, who's engaged to
a girl she met at school. "We haven't
set a date yet, but our families can't
wait," she says. Friends are also sup-
portive, whereas many older lesbians
experienced hostility for "selling out"
by entering into a heterosexual institu-
tion. "These cohorts have, to a greater
or lesser degree, grown up with the
cultural visibility of lesbian and gay
identities and same-sex relationships,
and will have legal recognition for
their identities and relationships (in a
variety of ways) for most of their adult
lives," Heaphy says. "Many have grown
up with a sense of the relative ordinari-
ness of lesbian and gay identities and
same-sex relationships or developed
this fairly early on in their lives."

But not all young people have
always wanted to get married. Twenty-
two-year-old Anna Bailey-Bearfield
married her 35-year-old wife despite
the fact they were both "pretty anti-
marriage" until they fell in love. "I
proposed six months into our relation-
ship," says Anna. "Meeting the love
of my life has certainly converted me
to understanding marriage and why
people make a commitment to make
it work through all the good times
and the bad. Marriage, we have both
realised, doesn't have to be a massively
scary and daunting thing. Instead, it's
what we make of it. Every day, we both
run home so that we can dance, laugh,
cuddle and have fun together. We have
become more intimate, want each
other to flourish and will never hold
each other back. We're team-mates
and that's great."

There's no denying it. Young queers
have fallen in love with marriage, in all
it's traditional glory. But how long will
the honeymoon period last? Only time
will tell. ©

DIVAMAG.CO.UK 49

LIKE A BOX OF CHOCOLATES. SOMETIMES
UR MEVER GOING TO KNOW WHAT U GET.
SOME ARE AWFUL AMD LIEVER WORK
OUT TO UR TASTE. BUT THEM THERE IS
ALWAYS THAT OME SPECIAL OUE THAT
TAKES U TO HEW LEVELS ADD BLOWS
UR MIMD AWAY IM WAYS THAT U WILL
ALWAYS LOVE TO HAVE THE LASTING
TASTE OF XX HOW THAT'S LOVE.

JO SQUISH

T IS

GIVIMG SOMEOI1E YOUR LAST COOKIE,
CARII1G FOR SOMEONE, ASKING ABOUT
THEIR DAY, KEEPING THEM WARM AT NIGHT.
LAUGHING WITH THEM, CRYING WITH THEM.

WHEN
I STILL
HAVE

FLUTTERS
WHEN I
SEE MY
GIRL-
FRIEND
AFTER
SEVEN
YEARS X.

WAKING UP IN THE MIDDLE
OF THE NIGHT AND TURNING
OVER JUST SO YOU CAN KISS
HER SOFT, SLEEPING CHEEKS.

DIVA READERS
DEFINE LOVE
IN THEIR OWN
WORDS

GIVING SOMEONE THE POWER TO DESTROY
YOU... BUT KNOWING THEY WON'T.

DEVASTATINGLY HEARTBREAKING
YET HOPELESSLY INTOXICATING.

Love is the sweetest thing. Or, at least, it can be. We asked
DIVA readers to complete the sentence that starts with the
words “Love is...". Some of you said love is “painful", while
others told us love is “the most precious gift you can give
and receive". Read on to find out the highs, the lows and the
in-betweens of love.

STRENGTH HOPE AND BEING
THERE THROUGH NOT ONLY
THE GREAT TINES BUT THE
GOD DANN AWFUL TINES AND
CONING OUT THE OTHER
SIDE STRONGER THAN EVER.

50 FEBRUARY 2015

I FEATURE I LOVE IS...

LOVE IS... h SEtlSE OF IELOHW6, h EEEUI1G YOU'RE
HOME, THRILLS AMD EXCITELIELIT AMD FEELING COtlPLETE.
.nzjrais

LOVE IS BECKY LOIZIBES
NT EVERYTHING X.

BEILIG SILIGLE AGAin AFTER 23YRS
AMD FiriOltlG LOVE MIN MYSELF...

LOVE IS... MOWING
THAT WHATEVER
YOU'RE GOItIG THROUGH
AT WHATEVER THE.
THERE'S SOnEOtlE
THERE WHO IS THERE
FOR YOU ALII) CALI HELP
YOU GET THROUGH
IT ARID PUT A SHE
On YOUR FACE.

#LOVE IS #LIFL

ALL you MEED. DA DA DA DA DAAAA

THE FREEDOM TO FART
WITHOUT BEIMG JUDGED.

LOVE IS... THAT MOMEMT WHEH
TOUR ROGERS IMTERLOCK, AMD
THE FEELIHG OF HOME, SWELLS
FROM WITHin YOU. WHEPi A SIMPLE
TOUCH TO TOUR BACK OR YOUR
SHOULDER IGMITES A BURMIMG
FUSE OF PASSIOM. THOSE FEW
SECOMDS WHEM YOU LOOK IM TO
EACH OTHER'S EYES. COMPLETELY
UMARMED. WAMTIMG THEM TO
SEE EVERY CREVICE OF YOU. EVEM
THE DEEP DARK UGLY SHADOWS.

TO UMWILUMGLY TAKE EVERY PAID
THEY FEEL AMD CARVE IT IM TO
YOUR OWM. THE FEELIMG OF BEIMG
COMPLETE. AS IF IM THAT MOMEMT.
AS YOU LOOK AT HER THE WORLD
FIMALLY CLICKS. THAT'S LOVE.

LIKE OXYGEN.

FALLIMG IM
LOVE JUST
HAPPEMS.

BUT IM A
LOMG-TERM
RELATIOMSHIP
LOVE IS
A CHOICE
YOU MAKE
EVERY DAY.

FAMILY - HAPPIMESS - LIFE

ACCEPTAMCE. BAD POIMTS AS WELL.

FRIEMDSHIP, COMPAMIOMSHIP. TRUTH.
DIFFICULT. EASY. FUM. HARD WORK. MEVER
GIVIMG UP, LASTIMG. IT IS MAMASTE -
THE SPIRIT OF EACH PERSOM BOWIMG
TO THE SPIRIT IM OME AMOTHER. THERE
IS SO MUCH MORE TO LOVE THAM
WHAT I'VE DESCRIBED BECAUSE LOVE
IS EVER-CHAMGIMG BUT STEADFAST.

LOVE IS...

DIFFERENT

FOR

EVERYBODY.

THAT FEELIMG OF MUSHY T
BUTTERFLIES EACH TIME
YOU LOOK IM HER EYES. THE
IMMEMSE PASSIOM FROM JUST A
TOUCH FROM HER. LOVE IS THE ,
HEARTBEAT OF MY FIAMCEE.

DIVAMAG.CO.UK 51

I FEATURE I SERMON I

ast week, I spoke with two
lovely young women who
are eagerly planning their
wedding. They asked me to
officiate - always a particu-
lar joy. We spoke of their
ceremony's details and of

their excitement to enter

into a legal marriage. And then they
ventured into the heart-breaking terri-
tory of their disappointment in the
church's response to LGBTQ people.
Each of them grew up in the church -
one as an Episcopalian and the other
in the Baptist Church. Clearly, they
love God and the church and want to
be a part of a life-giving, loving ver-
sion of Christian community.

They will celebrate their love on
Valentine's Day - as many of us will.
During this Love Month, we have
much to celebrate: our marriages are
celebrated in a growing number of
countries around the world, including
in the UK and in 35 US states.

But many who long for a spiritual
source of love still struggle with the
church and the Bible.

The good news is that the stories
of our faith and the sometimes hidden
characters we unearth in the pages of
scriptures can be sources of hope and
courage as we seek to live and love in
a sometimes challenging world. Queer
biblical scholars (and those of us who
take a deeper look) have exhumed
our people from the Bible's culturally
entrenched stories. We can dig into
the stories of both the Old and New
Testaments and find queer charac-
ters who can encourage our spirits
and invite us to give church and God
another chance.

The New Testament story of
Philip and the Ethiopian eunuch is

one of those veiled references to gay
or transgender people in the Bible.
Speaking through this ancient tale,
the character of the eunuch presses
for integration of queer people in the
life of the whole church.

Scriptural references to eunuchs
include those who were some sort
of sexual minority. The term eunuch
could refer to those who don't quite
fit the clear male/female binary, in
addition to the familiar definition of
castrated males.

Eunuchs were often exploited,
used as slaves or for religious
purposes. The eunuch, according to
Jewish understanding, did not have
the religious status that came with
parenthood. The writers of the He-
brew Bible compare him to a dry tree.
He would have no descendants.

The story goes like this: Philip,
a disciple of Jesus, encountered a
eunuch, a court official of the Ethio-
pian queen. When Philip saw him, the
eunuch was reading from the prophet
Isaiah.

Interestingly, the prophet Isaiah
envisions that the realm of God's new
covenant will overturn exclusion of
eunuchs:

Let not the eunuch say, "Behold, I am a
dry tree."

Thus says Yahweh: "To the eunuchs ...
who holdfast my covenant, I will give
in my house... a monument and a name
better than sons and daughters..., a
name which shall not be cut off."

Philip engaged the eunuch in con-
versation, told him the story of how
God's love is known in Jesus, how Je-
sus loved and brought God to all, es-
pecially to those who were excluded.
Then the eunuch, sexual outsider that
he was, asked a courageous question.

REV GLENNA
T SHEPHERD
FINDS

INSPIRATION
IN THE NEW
TESTAMENT
FOR LGBT
CHRISTIANS

Sometimes
hidden
characters
in scripture
can be
sources of
hope and
courage

"Here is water," he said. "What is to
prevent me from being baptised?"

The eunuch seems to call to us
from the pages of scripture: "Wait! We
can be people whose sexuality defines
us and one who is loved by God!"

They thought he had no descend-
ants. But, in a profound spiritual way,
God's LGBT people are the eunuch's
descendants. We may ask the ques-
tion, too: "What is to prevent us from
being baptised, from having our gay,
lesbian, trans bodies marked as God's
own?"

Here is the table of communion.
What is to keep us from being fed?

Here is the pulpit. What is to
prevent us from telling our stories in
the church?

Here is the blessing of marriage.
What is to prevent us from receiving it?

We are the eunuch's descend-
ants, queer people who love God and
seek God's blessing. We don't have
to confine parts of ourselves to the
shadows. We can integrate and cel-
ebrate our passions and love God and
another with holy fire and blessing.

Many LGBT people love the church:
its essential messages of hope and
love of God and neighbour, its
sacraments and music, and its stories
that teach us about lives of seeking
and loving. The day is here when we
must speak love's name - our love's
name - in the church, in the presence
and with the blessing of the God of
Love. ©

This article includes excerpts from a sermon
in Glenna’s new book, a collection of sermons
entitled Out On A Limb: Sermons Of Risk And
Revolution (Tollington Press). It’s available at Gay’s
The Word bookshop and through dmdzon.co.uk.

DIVAMAG.CO.UK 53

PHOTOS LEZLI+ROSE

MAKE-UP CLAIRE RAY @ CAROL HAYES

HAIR GENTIAN ZHOBE @ TONI&GUY WHITE CITY

' n

ADDITIONAL

rj ' r r-|

DIGITAL

'iDIVA

CONTENT

More information on p5 1 divadigMco.uk 1

JANE CZYZSELSKA GETS UP-
CLOSE AND VERY PERSONAL
WITH JACK MONROE AND
ALLEGRA McEVEDY

Their story starts a year ago on
Twitter. Jack had bought three
goldfish for her then three-year-
old son as a reward for his sterling
bathroom behaviour and named
them Nigel, Keith and Allegra -
after the authors of the three
cookery books that were sitting on
a shelf in her kitchen.

Posting a photo of the fish on
Twitter worked like a piscean charm on
chef Allegra McEvedy who responded
with what the two now agree was a
suitably crap joke - a question about
whether she always named her food
before she ate it; not clocking that the
fish were pets, in case you were won-
dering. As she hit tweet, Allegra hoped
she hadn't blown it with the woman to
whom she is now engaged.

When I meet the celebrity cooks in
their west London home just before
Christmas, I'm welcomed into their spa-
cious and busy open-plan front room
and kitchen - from where the smell
of slow-roast pork permeates the air
- and I spot the three goldfish staring
out from a bowl on a bookshelf, oblivi-
ous to their place in the couple's lives.

Watching the two of them together
as we chat about love, sex, food, pets
and kids, I think: how well suited they
seem - Jack's febrile energy, Allegra's
unaffected warmth - and I'm seduced
by their vibrant physicality. As they re-
count their first few months together,
Jack's speech is punctuated with lusty,
conspiratorial cackles, Allegra's with
rightbackatacha sass. Smitten.

Allegra confesses she's not a social
media habitue, so what prompted
her reply on Twitter? She was flat-
tered, naturally, and she knew of Jack
through her blog, her media appear-
ances and a few friends who'd sug-
gested the two should meet, but what
seems to have clinched it was a quick
look at Jack's Twitter profile picture.

“I thought, 'Fuck me, she's gorgeous'.
Four days later she moved in," Allegra
announces, grinning.

"Er, I think it was about a week
between our first contact and you giving
me house-keys wasn't it?" Jack counters.
"I had spent many hours, Jane, talking to
Allegra on my mobile phone, walking up
and down Southend seafront - the only
place I could get reception - and then
me and Jonny arrived at Allegra's front
door for a playdate."

"Different activities for the kids
and us, obviously," Allegra clarifies,
chuckling.

COVER STORY I ALLEGRA McEVEDY AND JACK MONROE I

By their fourth morning together,
as Allegra was making breakfast, she
asked Jack what her plans were. Jack
said she thought she might pop back
home to Southend - some 40-odd
miles, mind - for some fresh clothes.
"Do you have to?" Allegra remembers
asking. And the rest is herstory.

Love is a moveable feast: as differ-
ent with one person as it is with the
next, so I ask how they knew they were
meant for each other. "It's just unlike
anything that I've known or experi-
enced," Jack tells me. "It's as natural as
breathing; it's hard to put it into words
without sounding really corny but it
just works and more than [that], it's
exciting, it's constantly surprising but
it's comforting and normal and level as
well. It's everything it's supposed to be.
It's what all the fuss is about." And for
Allegra? "Instant spark, never felt like
that before - and I've been around the
block - smart, clever, impressive, her
own person, very sexy, just the whole
package." As I said, smitten.

Jack: "I quite often say to Allegra
that 'I am the best me now' with her.
With Allegra there's no filter. I can just
be me and completely let [my] guard
down. [When you can] let someone in
and they don't run a mile, you know
you've got a good thing."

Allegra: "Yep, you certainly do not
filter. The full force of Jack Monroe
is exactly what I signed up for and
exactly what I want. I mean when
we say that Jack came round with
Jonny and she never went home, I
mean that literally. She never. Went.
Home."

Not that Jack was a "homeless
waif" she says. "I may have a reputa-
tion for [that] but because of my book
deal I'd been able to put a deposit
down on a beautiful flat in Southend
which was heart-breaking to lose but it
was completely the right thing to do."

It's not lost on either of them that
in the months leading up to their first
date, several friends and colleagues
had already suggested they meet up
- advice which they'd both roundly ig-
nored. Jack even remembers a drunken

JACK WEARS BLUE
COTTON SHIRT
FROM @J CREW

Allegra
there's no
filter”

evening discussing the vexed question
of significant others with a friend a few
years ago, taking a copy of Allegra's
2009 book Economy Gastronomy
from her bookshelf and pointing to
a grainy black and white photograph
of the woman who is now her fiancee,
exclaiming, "'Why can't I just marry
a woman like that for fuck's sake?' I
emailed her a few months ago and
reminded her and she thought it was
quite hilarious," Jack recounts.

I'm curious to know how the two
of them express their love, so I ask
Allegra what she considers her acts of
love?

"Well, obviously a lot of them are
around food, and cooking and books:
we both have a book that we write in
for each other," she confides. "Fairly
regularly we just pop them into each
others work bags - it's a small note-
book of love letters," Jack enthuses.
That sounds adorably romantic, I
offer. "It's fucking soppy," says Allegra,
beaming.

Romantic gestures don't come eas-
ily to Jack. The first time she bought
Allegra a bunch of flowers she dumped
them unceremoniously on the kitchen
table. Allegra said, "Oh they're nice," to
which Jack responded, "Oh, urn, yeah
they're for you".

"Classic Jack," Allegra chips in.

"She's got better at it now - she's gone
the other way. We always do flowers
for each other but I think mainly love
is expressed by kindness. We have two
four-year- olds and that can be pretty
stressful. We have a fantastic life
together but I think that the fact that
we can support each other through
the tough days is worth a roomful of
flowers."

Multi-award-winning Jack Monroe
describes herself on her website as
cook, campaigner, Guardian column-
ist, mother and author. She's also a
patron of HIV and AIDS food charity
The Food Chain and an ambassador
for both Oxfam and the Child Poverty
Action Group. The scourge of Daily
Mail journalists, Jack makes regular
appearances on current affairs TV ►

DIVAMAG.CO.UK 57

A club for individuals,
bon-viveurs,
conversationalists,
aficionados,
life -experienced and
curious people.

Not everyone.

VIVUS

C LUWCOM

ALLEGRA McEVEDY AND JACK MONROE I

programmes, valiantly sounding off on
anti-poverty issues.

Allegra's newest restaurant,

Blackfoot in London's foodie haven
Exmouth Market, is the latest in a long
line of hugely successful gastronomic
collaborations. Co-founder of award-
winning fast food chain Leon, she has
an MBE for promoting healthier eating
and ethical food-sourcing.

As a patron of the Fairtrade Foun-
dation, Compassion In World Farming
and The Food Chain, she clearly shares
Jack's commitment to living a con-
scionable life. The term "dynamic duo"
seems an understatement.

Half Irish, half Greek, Jack Monroe
is well versed in the Greek approach
to love; that is, the four kinds of love.
We've already touched on Eros but,
says Jack, all four are present in the
love she shares with Allegra. "There's
also Agape: selfless love that is true
and fair, Filial love, which is friendship
and loyalty, and there's Storge, family
love - that deep attachment and con-
nection. [The four kinds of love] is one
of the many things I talked about with
Allegra early on."

Allegra's big on the different types
of love too: with both parents now
dead - her mother died when she
was just 17, her father nearly 10 years
ago - she remembers them daily to
her daughter and she lives round the
corner from her sister and her kids.

She has a ton of close friends - "I'm
a gregarious soul. Love is what it's all
about" - and she describes the love
she feels for her daughter as com-
pletely different to anything else. "It's
in my veins, my whole body, my whole
everything. It's very physical: the huge
need to love and protect her."

There's one love we haven't talked
about yet and that's fan love, the kind
that a girl like Jack gets lots of, from
legions of unknown admirers and
fans of her recipes with whom she
corresponds daily on Twitter to fellow
celebrities, such as Nigella Lawson. "I
didn't know what to do with myself the
first time I got a Twitter message from
Nigella," Jack remembers. "Now I'm re-
laxed about it but it did take a while."

Allegra is more circumspect about
social media, especially so since she's
got together with Jack. "The intrigue
that comes with Jack partnering up
with me, the intrigue that comes with
me partnering up with Jack, suddenly
we've got two kids, everyone wants to ►

DIVAMAG.CO.UK 59

talk about that, so I feel it's actually
made me want to close ranks a bit."

Perhaps because of some of the
more sinister tweets she receives, it's
no surprise that Jack has developed
a new love for Instagram. She's even
got a folder on her camera called Food
That Looks Like Vaginas. “Once you
start noticing, you'd be amazed," Jack
tells me.

Allegra: “We'll be sitting there hav-
ing dinner with a whole load of people
and I'll hand her over a plate and she'll
go, 'Yep, there it is!"'

Jack offers me her phone and
shows me a photo of a poached trout,
its pink flesh split open and sur-
rounded by dark scaly skin. She flicks
through others: “That's a truffle or a
clam, that's beetroot and hummus, all
the 'vaginas' are different-looking,"
Jack explains, helpfully. “And that's a
Georges Braque one," Allegra pipes
up, pointing to a photo that looks a bit
like a still life of fruit and veg by the
Fauvist French artist.

With vaginal art and seafood in
the mix, it seems as good a time as
any to talk about their upcoming
marriage. True to form, the two got
engaged with all the certainty and
enthusiasm that saw Jack move in with
Allegra. “We got engaged on Brighton
beach completely by accident," Jack
reveals. “Walking through The Laines
we passed a jewellery shop, looked at
each other and went inside. We'd al-
ready had a conversation about rings:
Allegra wanted rose gold, I wanted a
plain band with no stones. And there
they were: two rose gold plain bands!"

“So then we walked down to the
beach, said a few words to each other,
and put them on. As many of our
friends have said since, 'when you
know, you know'," Allegra adds.

As we draw the interview to a close,
I notice I'm feeling excited for the
couple as they head into the future
together. In readiness for our cover
shoot, Jack and Allegra dash upstairs
to find some tops to wear. When they
come down, Jack flashes a cheeky grin
and asks the make-up artist if she can
re-apply her lip gloss. Whatever comes
next in their story, I have a feeling
they'll know how to make it fun. ©

What was the first dish Allegra cooked for Jack?
What ingredients make Jack go weak at the knees?
Digital readers can find out in our exclusive video
interview.

ALLEGRA WEARS
T-SHIRT BY RAG

AND BONE

"The full
force
of Jack
Monroe
Is exactly
what I
signed up
for and ex-
actly what
I want"

60 FEBRUARY 2015

I INTERVIEW I STELLA DUFFY & SHELLEY SILAS I

In it together:
Shelley Silas (left)
and Stella Duffy

62 FEBRUARY 2015

This is
what love
looks like

"I felt like I'd been hit in the face when
I met Stella," says Shelley, recalling the
early impact of their relationship. "In
a good way," she adds hastily. Stella
cackles with glee: "Punched in the face
by Eros!"

It's a cold day, shortly before Christ-
mas, and Stella Duffy (51) and Shelley
Silas (55) have abandoned their broken
boiler to meet DIVA at a favourite spot
near their south London home, Brixton's
Lido Cafe. We sit outside, overlooking
the open-air pool where Shelley swims
year-round, and clutch our cappucinos
for warmth. Sweetly, the coffee is deco-
rated with hearts in the foam.

The couple, who are both success-
ful writers, got together 24 years ago

WRITERS
STELLA DUFFY
AND SHELLEY
SILAS REFLECT
ON ALMOST 25
YEARS OF LIFE
TOGETHER

WORDS LOUISE
CAROLIN

DIVA: How important is it to Have a shared story
about the origins of the relationship?

Shelley: After 24 years it’s less important. Stella: We’ve
told it so many times it’s almost like we’re oo automatic.
Shelley: The better story now is staying together and
losing babies and having cancer and... Stella: ...boilers
breaking down... Shelley: But I think how you met is
really important for the first few years. Maybe tbe first
10 years. After that it’s like, fucking hell, we’ve been
together this long, that’s amazing!

but their relationship almost didn't
happen; heartbroken by the split with
a previous girlfriend, Stella wasn't
at all sure she wanted to be with a
woman again. She also knew she
wanted children and in 1990, before
the lesbian baby boom began, having
a child outside of a heterosexual rela-
tionship seemed an impossibility. But
when Shelley appeared in the audience
at a comedy show, looking "bloody
gorgeous" with leopardskin shoes and
spiky Liza Minelli hair, Stella's reserva-
tions crumbled.

Their first six months together, they
admit, was "bollocks".

"I fell in love with someone who'd
recently done a photo shoot as Liza
Minnelli and she fell in love with some-
one who was doing comedy on stage.

We fell in love with dreams of each
other," says Stella. They also moved
in "way too soon", at five months, and
both struggled to adapt to a shared
life. "Now, if we're cooking together in
the kitchen, it's almost as if we have a
dance," Stella explains. "And you know
you're not getting on when you can't
dance. We were like pinballs [back
then], smacking off each other! A lot of
the time it was brutal. I'm astonished
that we're still together sometimes."

Nor was it an easy time to step out
into the world as a same-sex couple.

"For all that we were trying to find who
we were together, we were also very ►

DIVAMAG.CO.UK 63

I INTERVIEW I STELLA DUFFY & SHELLEY SILAS I

DIVA: Dave you ever had a moment where you thought that
whatever Dad just happened meant the end?

Both [laughing]: Yes! Stella: My parents were really fighty.
They had lots of ms. It didn’t mean they were getting
divorced. Shelley’s parents were the opposite. So we woold
have a row and I would think, we’ve had a m- Shelley:
And I would think, oh no, this is the end, I’ve got to leave!
All the time. Stella: It’s not just us, it’s that people don’t
talk about it. People don't say that a relationship is hard,
they don’t say that there are times when you think, god, it
would be easier to be by myself. It’s guite easy to leave and
it’s harder to stay.

much trying to find out who we were
as a gay couple in a world that didn't
want a gay couple," says Stella, adding
that just going to look at flats together
was "scary". And while her own white,
working-class family accepted her
sexuality, Shelley's parents, who were
part of London's tiny Indian Jewish
community, refused to meet Stella for
many years. "It was really hard that
Shelley's parents didn't accept me,
having not met me - I can take people
finding me the things that people
sometimes find me, too big, too loud,
whatever. But not even meeting me
and deciding that they didn't like me -
that was really painful."

"I used to lie awake thinking what
would happen if they died, or Stella
died, and they'd never known each
other," says Shelley, who finally ceased
attending family events although she
still saw her parents on their own.
"Stella never asked me not to see them
and I wouldn't have stopped. I love
them dearly and they're not bad peo-
ple. But I'd been rejected and rejected."

It was the millenium and an invita-
tion to join a Christmas get-together at
Stella and Shelley's house that brought
about an unexpected glasnost. "I re-
member all standing in the kitchen and
it felt as though we had been blessed. I

didn't feel any hatred, I didn't feel any
remorse, I didn't feel like, how dare
you do this? I just felt like we'd been
blessed. And we all had a little cry."

Amazingly, when it came, the em-
brace was absolute. "The minute my
dad accepted Stella, he told everyone.
I've got some quite religious relatives
and he was like, I've accepted it, now
you've all got to accept it. And they
were like, urn, we have accepted it."
The pair laugh uproariously.

Vocal supporters of the campaign
for equal marriage, Stella and Shel-
ley were wed for the third time last
year when they converted their civil
partnership (their first wedding was
a civil registration). Do they feel any
different? "Stella doesn't, but actually
I do," says Shelley. "I feel completely
secure and grounded, like now we're
completely legal."

As self-employed writers, how
do the demands of their work affect
their relationship, I wonder. "I don't
like to say it's hard - my father was
a boilerman and he was a labourer
from the age of 14 - it's not hard work
but we do work hard at it," answers
Stella. "We are very privileged to work
as artists but it's constant. We don't
take time off, if we go on a holiday
we work while we're away. I've never
had a proper job in my life. I've never
had sick pay. I've had cancer twice.

My parents have died, Shelley's dad's
died; we've never had compassionate
leave. What that means is we're really
sympathetic and empathetic with each
other about how it is.

"There have been times when
neither of us has earned, there's been
times when both of us have earned
well and times when one's earned well
and the other's not. There was a time
when it was quite hard to be taking
the other's money. It felt difficult and
uncomfortable. The more we've
been happier with being a couple,
the more that's been fine."

There was never a sense
of competition ("our writing
is very, very different") but
sometimes disappointment
when one achieved her goals
and the other didn't. Age
has taken the edge off the
burning desire for success
that she felt in her 20s, says
Shelley: "We enjoy our life
and we just get on with it
now. I don't not want to be

PHOTOS CARRIE LYELL

successful and I'm never going to stop
writing but our careers have grown
along with us."

Although their spiritual beliefs
differ, the couple agree that the fact
that they both believe something has
been crucial to the longevity of their
relationship, even though it's not the
same thing. “I don't think I could have
loved someone who didn't have some
sort of spiritual belief," says Shelley.
Stella, who was brought up Catholic,
has practiced Buddhism for 28 years.
"When I die, I'll be going back into the
universal life force," she explains. "Indi-
vidual shiny Stella disappears. Shelley,
however, believes we'll all be having
cups of tea together! Like we are now!
And meeting up with our old people."

"Given what we've been through,
it's just as well we've had something
else," says Shelley. Indeed, the pair
have dealt with more than their fair
share of illness and grief. Shelley
speaks honestly of the impact of her
depression on the relationship and
the difference medication has made to
her life, while Stella's breast cancer re-
curred in 2014. Cancer also took Shel-
ley's sister Leah, and the couple have
lost both Stella's parents and Shelley's
father. The much-longed for children
were not to be; neither of them was
able to sustain a pregnancy.

But the hardest times bring gifts,
says Stella. "Having had cancer twice,
having had the embryos made before

treatment last time, having lost all five
of them, Shelley miscarrying and never
getting pregnant, I see I am good with
shit. I don't want to be good with shit
but I am. I know that my being honest
about having cancer and our infertility
stuff has been useful to people because
they've told me. So my choice is to try
and find the value in stuff. Where are
the gifts in this? And it's really fucking
hard..." the words tear in her throat, as
she looks across the table at Shelley "...
to lie in St Thomas's Hospital, not sure

DIVA: What advice would you give to a young couple who
have just decided that they’re in it for the long haul?

Shelley: Be patient with each other. Keep going. Stella:
It's the same advice that we give to writers: keep going.
Shelley: Get on with it, be patient, compromise. Stella:
And don't keep trying to fix it. don’t go back and do
those three chapters 85 times, get on with chapter foor
becaose you don't know what chapter four is yet. Shelley:
And think about each other. Think before you speak
sometimes. Stella: Because you're really good at that!
[laughter] Shelley: Try and put yourself in that person's
place and actually say yes a bit more ratber than saying
no because you might enjoy something. Stella: Treat each
other with compassion.

if I'll get to this end of the year, feeling
like shit and terrified of dying and
terrified of leaving Shelley, and think,
where's the gifts in this?

"But there were my Buddhist friends
chanting for me, there were friends who
don't have any faith praying for me,
there were strangers sending emails
and tweets, just... there were gifts.
There have been gifts, all year. The kind-
ness of the people around us."

While her recovery was difficult,
last year's cancer treatment was suc-
cessful and she faces just one more
reconstruction procedure. They are
looking forward to a healthy year
ahead "with nothing awful happening"
and life together is still clearly full of
excitement and joy.

What do you miss about each other
when you're apart, I ask. "We dance!

We dance in the kitchen, we dance in
the lounge. We dance together," says
Stella.

"I miss Stella's energy in the house.
Stella's got such fantastic energy that
the house is empty without her," adds
Shelley.

Stella and Shelley. Here's to your
dance, your fabulous honesty, your
generous insight and your next 25
years. ©

shelleysilds. wordpress.com

stelladuffy. wordpress.com

Stella Duffy talks to DIVA about her Fun Palaces

project on p66.

DIVAMAG.CO.UK 65

W omen's travel company
manager Alanna Hig-
ginson first heard about
Fun Palaces via a tweet
by author Stella Duffy.
The 46-year-old from
Glasgow loved the con-
cept - free events that make the arts
and sciences accessible to all - and
“took the plunge", signing up via the
project's website.

Designing her own Fun Palace,

EDEN CARTER
WOOD MEETS
SOME OF
THE WOMEN
BEHIND THE
FUN PALACE
PROJECT,
WHICH BRINGS
ARTS AND
SCIENCE
TO ALL

Higginson took the Clyde as her inspi-
ration. “The river has been the main
artery of commerce here for many
years," she says. “It's the lifeblood of
the community, pumping blood to
the heart of the city." Enlisting her
partner, the singer Horse McDonald,
and a couple of friends, she organ-
ised a picnic in Kelvingrove Park with
participants reading their own poems
about the river, a storytelling cycle
ride and a postcard art display made

by many contributors and unveiled by
Horse. This was the first time Alanna
had arranged an event of this kind
and she found the excitement and
buzz inspiring. “It's fantastic to make
a difference," she says.

Alanna's not the only one feeling
inspired: in towns and cities across
the UK, Fun Palaces are having a
marked resurgence. The project
dates back to the early 1960s, when
theatre director Joan Littlewood and

66 FEBRUARY 2015

I FEATURE I FUN PALACES I

“Both
arts and
science
ask

questions
aboctthe
very nature
ot human
existence”

architect Cedric Price conceived of a
“laboratory of fun", “a university of
the streets" The idea is refreshing in
its simplicity: free local events run by
and for local people, engaging with
arts and sciences. Littlewood's dream
never quite reached fruition during
her lifetime, but thanks to facilitators
like Duffy and a small core team driv-
ing a marketing and online presence,
it's being revived, with at least 138
groups putting on events last year.

Fun Palaces are about empower-
ment, explains Duffy. She's not a
believer in the “talent myth", she
explains, that idea “that some people
are more special, more talented than
others". In the past this elitist belief
has often led to the handing over of
“the possibility of creating" to a small
group of people, she says. “I believe
that anyone can create and anyone
should create." It's all about treating
everyone as an expert in their own
lives, she elaborates later, “rather
than some of us behaving like we
know better than everyone else".

Forty-year old Carine Osment
also heard of Fun Palaces via Duffy. A
medical assistance coordinator, she
worked on the Farnham Fun Palace
with Portuguese colleague Alexandre,
neither of whom work in arts or sci-
ences or had organised such a project
before. “It was all brand new to us,"
she says. What appealed was the
lack of barrier between “maker" and
“goer" she explains. The most reward-
ing thing was “being an active part of
something I would usually consider
too big and complicated for me," she
says, “and realising that some people
will support you whatever and when-
ever. What matters is to try".

As well as aiming to empower
individuals and bring them together,
Fun Palaces also highlights just how
much the arts and sciences have in
common. “Both of them are asking
questions about the very nature of
human existence," Duffy points out,
“and when you put them alongside
each other, exciting things happen.
People have conversations that they
don't normally have," she says, “and
that to me is where there is hope."

Importantly, Fun Palaces also
encourages local people to use
public spaces when possible. “So
often public buildings - schools, art
galleries - are empty in the evenings
or weekends," Duffy explains. “We're

just not making good enough use of
our spaces, and they belong to all of
us. We're all paying for them in our
taxes."

It's this spark of engagement and
community involvement that makes
Fun Palaces so special. Amie Taylor,

28, from South Norwood in Lon-
don, liaised with local schools when
working on the Brockwell Lido Fun
Palace, led by Duffy's wife Shelley
Silas. Amie's discussions with schools
resulted in a day of workshops with
120 local children that aimed to raise
their awareness of the Fun Palace
project and involve them in the mak-
ing of it. “On the day, my girlfriend
and I ran shadow puppetry workshops
at the Lido, in which children were
invited to make puppets of a watery
or autumnal theme," Amie says. The
weekend was “full on", she recalls.

“I loved wondering around taking
part in activities, especially the ones
brought by the scientists. I'm from an
arts background, so it was a real treat
to learn some science stuff."

If all goes according to plan, Amie
will be back at the Lido again this year
she says. The team wants to make
something new: “Our community
will have changed in a year's time, so
it's about listening and looking for
what is needed, what is being offered
and to act on that." Both Carine and
Alanna plan to be involved with Fun
Palaces again too.

Duffy finds it interesting - but
not surprising given statistics about
volunteering - that 78.9% of those
running Fun Palaces are female. She
hopes that more teenagers will get
involved in future and urges people
who might be reading this and con-
sidering getting involved to “go for
it!" One of the great things about Fun
Palaces is that “it might be something
it's impossible to fail at it," says Duffy.

“I think it's really important that
we celebrate the small gains that
people make, not just the vast ones,"
she adds. “It's really easy to celebrate
massive successes, but in truth real
lives are not about massive successes.
They're about a small gain here, a
small gain there, what have I learnt
from it, what can I build on? That's
what real life's like." ©

Fancy getting involved? Find out more, get ideas
and download resources at funpdldces.co.uk
@FunPdldces

DIVAMAG.CO.UK 67

“GREENHAM
BECAME HOME”

Sarah Graham's mother had no idea,
when she took her to visit Greenham
Common at the age of 13, that it would
land her daughter in a prison cell be-
fore she had even finished school.

But Sarah, now a respected ad-
dictions therapist (see article , p86)
who advises the government, has no
regrets about her involvement in the
peace protests. Indeed, she chooses to
see her time inside as a "life-changing
experience" that gave her a valuable
understanding of the prison system.

On a personal level, she says Green-
ham was very much part of her coming
out process.

Sarah is not alone. Greenham
Common Women's Peace Camp is on
the programme for the First National
Festival of LGBT History hosted by the
City of Manchester this February. So-
cial justice campaigner Sheila Standard
will talk about her involvement, as part

CATHERINE
MURRAY
TALKS TO
FORMER
"GREENHAM
WOMEN"
ABOUT THE
LEGACY OF
THE ANTI-
NUCLEAR
PEACE CAMP

of a section on the key roles played by
lesbian women in protest movements.

"From votes for women campaigns
to the Greenham Common peace
camps, lesbian women have been
at the forefront of movements for
change," says festival communications
director Kim Foale.

The seeds of the movement were
sown in 1981, when a small group of
women walked 120 miles from Cardiff,
Wales, to chain themselves to the
gates of RAF Greenham Common in
Berkshire, England. They were protest-
ing against the government's decision
to allow the US Air Force to site Cruise
nuclear missiles at the military base.

From these humble beginnings
grew an internationally-renowned,
non-violent protest settlement,
through which tens of thousands of
women would pass over the next 19
years, some making it their perma-

nent home, others visiting for shorter
periods of time.

Sheila will tell festival-goers about
"what women did, in the face of this
situation, and how it changed our
lives and how we turned the military
on their heads, by just stopping being
what they wanted us to be". The free-
dom of expression felt by Greenham
women also liberated many of them
about their sexuality, adds Sheila. "I
experienced through Greenham that I
could be proud to be lesbian, and utter
the word lesbian without shame."

Sasha Roseneil, Professor of Sociol-
ogy and Social Theory at Birkbeck, Uni-
versity of London, has delved deeper
into the transformational nature of the
protests. Her 2012 paper (; tinyurl.com /
GreenhamResearch), Queering Home
and Family in the 1980s: the Greenham
Common Women's Peace Camp, pro-
poses that Greenham was, in addition

68 FEBRUARY 2015

PHOTO COURTESY OF THE PEOPLE'S HISTORY MUSEUM, BOB NAILER/REPORTDIGITAL.CO.UK

to an anti-military protest, also a “radi-
cally queer feminist intervention in the
politics of home and family".

Sarah Graham's testimony cor-
roborates this interpretation. “You had
lots of interesting, politicised, engaged
women, who were sitting around the
campfire debating every issue you
could imagine," she remembers. “It was
a real opportunity to look at what was
going on in the world and work out
what the alternatives could be if the
world was more women-centric ."

“It was a very positive place to be
as a young lesbian," she continues.
“There were loads of women who
were lesbians and there were loads of
women who became lesbians for the
time they were at Greenham. I think
lesbianism almost became a political
statement in itself. There was a lot of
experimentation going on [...] and a lot
of freedom.

“But there was a lot of oppression
as well. Greenham women were de-
monised by the media and the govern-
ment really went after them."

Sarah, who subsequently pursued
a career in journalism, references
Greenham as an eye-opener with
regard to “how the media didn't tell
the truth". She sings me one of their
camp-fire songs satirising coverage of
the protests:

“We work for the Russians for
tuppence a day / they ask us to stay so
that's why we stay /We drink lots of
vodka so that's why we're gay, hey!"

Prof Roseneil's paper argues that
Greenham “queered the norms of
political protest, testing the tolerance
of the liberal democratic state that
allows dissent as long as, at the end
of the day, protesters pack up their
banners and head home, back to their
families".

Greenham women refused to go
home, however, even under fierce
attack from politicians and the tabloid
press. “Greenham became home,"
explains Roseneil, “and the bonds of
friendship, care and affection, and
often sexual love, forged at Greenham
became the life-sustaining forces that
women were choosing over the fami-
lies from whence they came."

Greenham had a lasting impact on
many of the women who took part
over the years. Bisexual artist and
writer Emma Bolland ( emmabolland .
com), who visited Greenham Common
as a teenager, says that seeing women

protest about issues of import, not
“all the little shit that we are supposed
to worry about and that supposedly
makes us women" had “a massive
effect on the way that I see politics,
and in the way that I see the citizen in
relation to the state".

Emma, who recently presented a
paper at the Unofficial Histories
conference ( unofficialhi stories .
wordpress.com), says she also “came

I FEATURE I LGBT HISTORY MONTH I

away with the sense that struggle is
and should be ongoing. Struggle is not
delegitimised by the lack of obvious or
short-term results. We might not win,
but we must still fight and keep our
eyes on what is honest and right". ©

Sheila Standard will be speaking at the People’s
History Museum in Manchester on Sunday 15
February, at 11.30 am, as part of the First National
Festival of LGBT History, lgbthistoryfestivdl.org

“Loads of

Greenham

women

were

lesbians

and loads

became

lesbians

fortbe

time they

were at

Greenham”

MY TRANS LESBIAN HEROINES

ROZ KAVENEY INTRODUCES TWO WOMEN WHO CHANGED OUR LIVES

I don’t know who Sylvia Riveira planned to
sleep with that night at the Stonewall Bar,
when everyone got fed up with police raids
and she started throwing bottles; I do know
that, like a lot of trans women, she ended
up with a woman partner in the last years of
her life. One of the things about being trans
is that it forces a certain emotional honesty
on you - once you’ve accepted that you
need to transition, making other decisions
about your life in general, and your sexual-
ity in particular, becomes a lot easier.

The need to get through medical gate-
keepers in order to access medical care
often means that you conform a bit; I really
wasn’t lying to my doctors when I assumed,
back in my 20s, that I was probably going
to be one of those women who sleeps with
men. I did know, already, that one of the
key words in that sentence was “probably”
because in those early days one of the most
impressive trans women I had met was an
out and proud dyke, the wonderful, the
inspirational Rachel Pollack.

In the autumn of 1971, after I had done finals,

I spent a lot of time in London doing research
for my thesis, and the rest of my life. I got in
touch with the newly founded Gay Liberation
Front, hoping they wouldn’t - unlike some
other gay organisations - just tell me that I
needed a good fuck with a nice boy to get all
that trans nonsense out of my head. What I
got from them was better - it was the phone
number of the American woman who had
started a trans group inside GLF and who
lived in a flat on the street where I’d spent
my childhood. I won’t say she changed my
life, not exactly...

Rachel showed me and others that it was
possible, almost mandatory, to be both a
trans woman and a feminist and a radical.
She also demonstrated that it was possible
to be someone about whom one of the least

interesting things was that they were trans
or lesbian.

She is a writer of science fiction and fantasy
who has won both the Arthur C Clarke
and World Fantasy awards; her run on the
comic Doom Patrol for DC was ahead of
its time in its use of diverse characters.

Most importantly, as a student of Tarot in
particular and spirituality in general, she’s
had a fascinating role in helping to build a
feminist spirituality that’s about helping
women find a personal truth rather than
telling them how they ought to be. For
Rachel, Tarot is a set of images that you ask
wisdom questions - if that helps you start
your journey, that’s not predetermining
what that journey will be.

Rachel Pollack is my trans lesbian heroine,
because she gave me and others the things

we needed to set out on a path we got to

choose for ourselves. ©

Rachel Pollack’s new novel, The Child Eater,
is published by Jo Fletcher books in July.

Trans woman, feminist and
radical: Rachel Mack

DIVAMAG.CO.UK 69

“BISEXUALITY
MEANS I AM FREE"

When I was four years old, if you had
asked me what I wanted to be when I
grew up, I would have answered, "Kylie
Minogue". By the age of eight or so, I
had begun to understand that I didn't
want to be Kylie Minogue; actually, I
fancied her. I also enjoyed watching
and re-watching Labyrinth with my
then best friend. Hello there, dodgy
crush on David Bowie as the Goblin
King. I was a budding bisexual.

Later, in my teens, I dated boys; still
later, I dated girls (then women); and
finally, I also dated men again. By the

WHAT DO
OUR LABELS
OF CHOICE
MEAN TO
BISEXUAL AND
PANSEXUAL
PEOPLE?

WORDS ROBERTA
CHLOE VERDANT

time I found myself in a relationship
with a man in my mid-20s, I had begun
to really own the label “bisexual". I
am attracted to some people: female,
male, gender-fluid. I am bisexual and I
am also queer.

Not long after I first began dating
women I found myself giving thought
to my sexuality itself: attending gender
theory groups, becoming ever more
aware of the gender norms I saw in the
world around me. I would like to claim
these actions as queer acts: assertions
of my queer identity as I marked out

my own niche in an often heteronor-
mative world.

I often use the labels “bisexual"
or “pansexual" interchangeably to
describe my sexual identity. However,
whether single or in a relationship with
a man, woman or someone gender-
queer, I remain a queer person. Enter-
ing a relationship with a man does not
make me straight; does not mean I
cease to be bisexual or queer. Relation-
ships with women also do not turn me
into a lesbian. I am just myself.

I probably feel at my queerest when

70 FEBRUARY 2015

I FEATURE I BISEXUAL IDENTITIES I

I date men. It is too comfortable then
for the world to read me as “straight".
This is not my identity, so I assert that.
Yet I notice how often other people try
to define my sexuality for me (and how
often we do that to other people). I
choose my own identity. I allow no-one
else to do that for me.

In his essay Blatantly Bisexual,
Michael Du Plessis writes that he
does not want to “impose anew the
cliche of bisexuality as a borderline
or borderland that affirms two, and
only two, other identities that are
to be understood securely in place".

So I am going to explore bisexuality
and pansexuality as queer identities:
neither borderlines, nor a dipping in
and out of the worlds of heterosexual-
ity and lesbianism, but occupying very
clear spaces of their own.

As Carole A King puts it in Bi Any
Other Name, “I use my bisexual wits
to cross boundaries, crack codes, and
bring back a store of information that
society would like to use to keep us
all in thrall ... It is the queer in me that
empowers - that lets me see those
lines and burn to cross them".

I spoke to bisexual- and pansexual-
identified individuals, some of whom
also additionally identified as queer,
about their labels of choice; what do
they see them as signifying? Candii, a
cafe worker and MindOut volunteer
from Brighton, writes that she chose
“bisexual" because she is attracted to
just men and women; though she finds
beauty in all sexualities and gender
identities.

Yet for Kayla, from London, her bi-
sexuality feels like something private:
she has predominantly had relation-
ships with men. However, should she
be in a relationship with a woman, she
would be more vocally out; and not
want to hide that part of her sexuality.
Her bisexuality also subtly affects her
world view: she questions the het-
erosexual set-ups and norms so many
seem to view as compulsory.

Jennie Phillips, a performance
artist from Devon, prefers the term
“queer". She says: “Depending on who
I am talking to I will occasionally use
pansexual to indicate that gender and
genitalia has nothing to do with who I
am attracted to. I quite often sit under
the bi umbrella so I can have a sense of
belonging to a community and feel like
I am being pro-active."

Growing up, Jennie never saw her

sexual identity reflected in the media
or government policies, and still rarely
does. Jennie sees heterosexuality
represented everywhere (don't we
all?) but feels her own sexual identity
is constantly challenged. This only
affords it increased significance in her
life.

This is something to which I am sure
many bisexual and pansexual people
can relate. I see so few depictions of
bisexuality in the day-to-day world; so
I out myself to assert bisexual space.
This space is, to me, an innately queer
space. I hope I am doing my own minis-
cule part in making it visible.

Jennie's queerness has made her
challenge everything to learn about
others, question words, what is natural
for her and what is imposed by society.
This is her starting point for curiosity
about the world, which spreads into
activism and passion for equality.

Jan Steckel, an author from Oak-
land, California, says that when she
came out in 1980, “bisexual" meant
that she could love women or men. At
that point, she had not heard the term
“pansexual". Later, she found that be-
ing bi also meant “attraction to same
and different genders".

In bisexuality and pansexuality,
within a queer world view, I suspect
many of us claim a kind of freedom
perhaps not altogether comfortable
for onlookers. Our choices of partners
are not always easily guessable. Are we
somehow a little dangerous? Defined
by our labels - yet indefinable?

In this spirit, activist June Jordan
explains: “Bisexuality means I am free
and I am as likely to want and to love
a woman as I am likely to want and to
love a man, and what about that? ... If
you are free you are not predictable,
and you are not controllable. To my
mind, that is the keenly positive, politi-
cising significance of bisexuality."

Finally, what of the “born this way"
argument that one frequently hears
from gay women, but rather less (at
least in my experience) from bi- and
pan-identified women? Do we feel we
do have a choice? A choice that means,
should we wish, we could conduct
relationships solely with the same or
opposite gender and live our lives as
straight women or lesbians?

Candii resonates with the “born
this way" argument, seeing herself as
having been born bisexual. However,
she feels that sometimes she is seen

lout
myself
to assert
bisexual
space

by others as having a choice; that
she could choose to “fit in" and be
“straight" or go against that and claim
a gay identity.

For her, the problem (thanks to
others' reactions) comes in asserting
that she is bisexual and, as far as she is
concerned, born that way. Yet others
seem to want her to adopt a different
sexuality. Once more, I am struck by
this tendency of others to try to define
us; this desire to relegate bisexuality to
the realms of lesbianism or hetero-
sexuality.

Kayla, though, believes there is
less of a need for bisexuals to employ
the “born this way" argument. Had
she been born in a different time or
place, where heterosexuality was more
strictly enforced, she believes she may
have happily lived her life as a straight
woman, without feeling a need to
question that heterosexuality.

Part of Kayla's sexual journey
involved the discovery in her late teens
that relating sexually to women was an
option; and critically, far from taboo
in her social circles. As she does not
feel any need to construct an identity
around her bisexuality, arguing she
was “born this way" never entered her
mind.

Jennie dislikes the idea of sexual
orientation being accepted just
because it is supposedly innate. To
her, this avoids the larger issue of
morality and excludes those who do
have a choice, eg “political lesbians"
and those who have experienced situ-
ational homosexuality (for example, in
prisons).

For Jan, meanwhile, although she
could have chosen to have sex only
with a particular gender - right up
until “her head exploded" - she would
still have felt attraction to others too.
“The equal opportunity wet dreams
and the personal gender confusion.
That part I didn't get to choose ... (It's)
just who I am."

For my part, whether I was born
bisexual/pansexual/queer, or
developed this way, I do not feel this is
information which I need to know. I
regard my sexuality as something
positive. One of my driving forces in
life is to feel as free as possible, whilst
aiming to do no harm. I like how my
sexuality meshes with this, my life and
relationships subtly queered spaces,
my sexuality as something both fluid
and defined. Viva. ©

DIVAMAG.CO.UK 71

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Eyelash lace inlay bra from Uye Surana
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72 FEBRUARY 2015

PHOTOS JON WAISMAN (DOTTIE'S DELIGHlfo, USA IANCIN, ALIAS PHOTOGRAPHY (PLAYOUT BY), FRANN DUNAWAY (TOMBOYX)

I STYLE I UNDERWEAR I

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DIVAMAG.CO.UK 73

Palm Springs is a Mecca for fans
of modernist architecture

JOANNA
BENECKE
GETS HER
CELLULOID
KICKS IN PALM
SPRINGS

“Everyone
belongs
here, no
matter who
yoo are”

It's impossible to head to the Califor-
nian desert and not feel like you're in
a movie. Several movies in fact. When
the expansive San Gorgonio Pass
Windfarm heaves into sight, hundreds
of windmill arms waving at you in the
arid desert landscape - otherwise
mainly populated by cobby joshua trees
and majestic mountains - you know
you're approaching Palm Springs, AKA 3
Women territory. In this Robert Altman
1977 classic, Pinky (an awkward Sissy
Spacek) obsesses about Millie (gor-
geous Shelley Duvall) in the dry heat of
the desert. As a wide-eyed blonde with
a thing for brunettes, I channelled Pinky
by blowing bubbles in my root beer as I
waved at the wind farm.

A mere two hours' drive from LA,
Palm Springs gained prominence in the
1930s as a getaway hideout for stressed
stars who wanted to escape Hollywood
while still remaining within shouting
distance of their studio bosses. Delight-
fully, the city doesn't need designated
LGBT highlights because, as Mary Jo
Gintherfrom Palm Springs Bureau of
Tourism puts it, “PS just is a gay city.

It's integral to how it emerged; a place
where people could come and be
themselves". Although more famous
as a gay male destination, you'll soon
give up counting the number of lesbians
you encounter in this gaytopia; but to
maximise your gay giggles, catch local
lez comedian Shann Carr ( shanncarr .
com) performing a gig, or come in
September for Cinema Diverse, PS's
LGBT film festival. In recent years a new
generation of celebs have discovered
the city's laidback charm, thanks in

74 FEBRUARY 2015

PHOTO LISA CORSON

part to the famous Coachella festival,
so don't be surprised if you encounter
Ellen and Portia nibbling veganaise on
rye by the pool.

To best channel your inner Marilyn,
book a room at the Riviera Palm Springs
Resort & Spa; everyone who was any-
one during the 1960s stayed and played
here, from Sinatra to Elvis (rumour
has it Ellortia were considering it as a
wedding venue before deciding on a
home-based ceremony). There's no bet-
ter way to recharge your batteries than
at the hotel's Circa 59 restaurant where
comfort food goes gourmet (think
lobster mac 'n' cheese), with vegan op-
tions upon request. A few Anti-Oxidant
Mojitos later (you know you'e in Cali
when the “healthy" cocktails come
out) I was ready for a wonderful night's
sleep in my king-sized bed. SpaTerre
is well worth a visit if the detox booze
hasn't quite worked - Kirsti worked her
facial magic on my spots and Jessica's
expert deep tissue massage carefully
loosened all 11-hour-flight knots.

For a counterpoint to Hollywood
Regency opulence, the so-quirky-you-
could-die Ace Hotel is the perfect
choice. With its reclaimed furniture,
taxidermy, industrial showers and
festival-chic luxury, you're basically in
a Wes Anderson flick. Don't miss the
Date Shake at the hotel's diner, King's
Highway. To veganise, ask them to sub
avocado for the ice cream! ( acehotel .
com/palmsprings).

The best introduction to Palm
Springs is a tour with local archi-
tecture aficionado Robert Imber
( palmspringsmodern tours.com) who
takes small groups on customisable
trips. If you're not already a fan of mid-
century modern, you will be after a few
minutes with Robert. He'll explain how
PS came into being and why it looks the
way it does, before showing you where
Katherine Hepburn, Kim Novak, Zsa-Zsa
Gabor and the rest of the Hollywood
hotties used to hang out. Golfer Dinah
Shore - who lends her name to PS's (in)
famous festival of women each April -
lived in a prime example of Californian
modernist design, which has recently
been purchased and lovingly restored
by Leo DiCaprio. Warning: post-tour you
will be googling Californian mortgages.
That's the Imber Effect. (And the lure of
PS's 360 days of sunshine a year doesn't
help/hurt.) Modernism Week celebrates
its 10th anniversary in 2015 (12-22 Feb)
and is a must for architecture buffs

TRAVEL I PALM SPRINGS I

( modernismweek.com ).

For those who want James Bond-
style hijinks, a ride up the sharp rock-
face of the San Jacinto mountain in the
world's largest rotating aerial tramcar
is a must ( pstramway.com ). This thing
travels fast, and the views as you hurtle
up 8,500 ft are spectacular. From the
mountain station you can head off on a
hike, or stand on a viewing deck and play
at being your Disney Princess of choice
communing with local wildlife. I wanted
to see a bobcat, but my Queen Elsa
impression let me down. Luckily other
local animals are more amenable, includ-
ing the horses at Smoke Tree Stables
( smoketreestables.com ). Budding Calam-
ity Janes should not miss the chance to
saddle up, as there is no better way to
explore the awe-inspiring mountain de-
sert environment. Sample wild lavender
and get your guide to give you a class
in cactus 101! For even more animal en-
counters, a trip to the Living Desert Zoo
and Gardens is a must. Cuddle goats, ride
camels and feed giraffes at this ethical
wildlife park Qivingdesert.org).

Foodies are spoilt for choice in
PS, with all tastes and price ranges
catered for. Cafe Europa ( cafeeuropanet .
com) does a particularly delicious line
in organic breakfasts, with options
ranging from Twin Peaks (pancakes) to
Showgirls (brown rice breakfast bowl)
and a queer clientele including Lily Tom-
lin and wife Jane Wagner. My personal
paradise is Native Foods ( nativefoods .
com). This all-vegan fastfood joint
serves burgers, nachos and chilli, which
appeased even the most confirmed
meat eaters in my travel group.

Want to shop like Pretty Woman on
a budget? Head to Desert Hills Premium
Outlet ( premiumoutlets.com ). I went a
tad crazy in the Asics shop (I basically
thought I was Million Dollar Baby),
while cut-price Michael Kors, Bose and
Nike also draw big crowds. For those
who prefer unbranded goodies, every
Thursday PS's main streets are
pedestrianised as VillageFest takes over
( villagefest.org ). This street market
offers everything from local art,
jewellery and clothes, to California's
best dog-spotting opportunities. The
owner of Cobber, an enormous
wise-eyed Australian labradoodle,
explained to me that PS is intrinsically
welcoming because “everyone belongs
here, no matter who you are". Like
Marilyn, Garbo and Pinky before me, I
couldn't agree more. ©

Calpe diem

This charming Mediterranean coastal
town proves there's more to the south-
ern coast of Spain than full English
breakfasts in Benidorm - especially
when the girls hit town for OlaGirls, an
all-inclusive getaway in June.

STAY

Visitors to Calpe will be spoilt for
choice when it comes to hotels. DIVA
stayed in the gorgeous four-star Hotel
Diamante (diamantebeach.com), just a
hop, skip and a jump from the beach. If
the selection of spa treatments doesn't
tempt you, then the stunning views
of the Penon de Ifach (tinyurl.com/
penyon-ifach) will. For couples looking
for something a little more intimate,
the Marisol (marisolpark.com) is gor-
geous and quaint, while groups may
prefer Imperial Park Resort (tinyurl.
com/ImperialParkResort), which boasts
incredible views over the town and
bungalows big enough for up to six
people.

CARRIE LYELL
DISCOVERS
THE PERFECT
MEDITERRANE-
AN GETAWAY

Direct flights to
Alicante start at
around £80 re-
turn, and there’s
a regular bus
service from the
airport to Calpe
(€8 single) which
takes two hours.

PLAY

Calpe may be more sedate than
party-hard neighbours Benidorm and
Alicante, but there is still more than
enough to keep you entertained.
Energetic types can hike to the top of
the iconic rock, 334 metres above the
Mediterranean, and enjoy the spec-
tacular views. While beach bums will be
pleased to hear Calpe gets more than
2,800 hours of sunlight a year, and has
many beautiful spots to sunbathe in.
Water sports include diving, kayaking
and windsurfing. I recommend seeking
out Calpe's secret coves on a paddle
board (supxperience.com). It'll turn your
thighs to steel and you'll work up a
healthy appetite, which is good seeing
as Calpe has some incredible gastro-
nomical delights on offer. The Valencian
paella is a local speciality containing
rabbit and chicken, and it's delicious.

If you like shopping, the old town has
some lovely boutiques. Other highlights
include the daily auction at the fish

market, which has a specially construct-
ed viewing gallery so you can watch
the action below, several archaeologi-
cal hotspots including an ancient wall
dating back to the 13th century, and
flamingo- spotting in Las Salinas.

GAY

In June, Calpe will play host to OlaGirls
(olagirls.com), a brand new festival
aimed at lesbian and bisexual women
over 35 and their families. Organisers
hope to create an “invasion" of all types
of women looking for a different kind
of holiday, whether you're sporty, shy or
single. OlaGirls Getaway promises a
unique experience, incorporating
cultural activities as well as nightlife for
the break of a lifetime. The extensive
programme includes a treasure hunt
through the town, a visit to Calpe's
annual gastronomic fair and a guided
tour of Penon de Ifach, as well as dance
classes, speed-dating and a “big lesbian
kiss" flashmob. ©

76 FEBRUARY 2015

PHOTOS CARRIE LYELL, CRISTINA RODRIGUEZ

WORDS LUCY FRY, PHOTO ANN-MARIE CALILHANNA (MARDI GRAS)

TRAVEL

HOT HOTEL

NIRA CALEDONIA
VALENTINE'S SPECIAL

Edinburgh’s sophisticated Nira Caledonia
hotel is offering lovers a chance to
celebrate St Valentine’s Day with two
nights’ accommodation in a Jacuzzi Suite
as part of their 50 Plaids Of Wa-Hay
package. Your romantic weekend includes
a full Scottish breakfast each morning (get
it delivered to your room, if you prefer), a
bespoke tasting menu in Blackwood’s Bar
& Grill downstairs, couple’s aromatherapy
massage, the services of a butler 24/7 and
a Black Box containing strawberries,
chocolates and a few other surprises ...
Package from £995. Optional champagne bath
£2,000. niracaledonia.com

NEWSFLASH

NEW LGBT
LONDON GUIDE

Whether you’re new to London or want
to see the city anew, a recently launched
online guide for LGBTQ visitors will inspire.
Visit Gay London provides information and
inspiration to visitors and covers a broad
range of both LGBT-specific and general
interest areas. The main emphasis is on
culture (primarily West End theatre and
major exhibitions, but also music, dance,
opera, museums and galleries) as well as
attractions, shopping, hotels, restaurants
and, of course, listings for LGBTQ bars and
events. In the regular My London Life Q&A,
LGBT Londoners share their tips.
visitgay.london \ §visitgaylondon

DON'T MISS

WHISTLE-HER!

Take one Pride event, serve it up in the Blackcomb Mountains and add a side of
Canadian welcome and you have the Whistler Pride and Ski Festival. From
24-31 January nothing is out of bounds at this mountain resort. Aside from
all the fun you can have going downhill, fast, there will also be a range of
lez- and bi-focused events going on off the slopes too, including Avalanche
of Laughter with the Grammy-nominated Margaret Cho and the big women’s

Friday- and Saturday-night parties.

gaywhistler.com/events-whistler-pride-and-ski-festival

GAYCATION

SYDNEY MARDI GRAS

If you’ve got any plans to hit Sydney
in 2015, consider doing so during
the city’s annual Gay and Lesbian
Mardi Gras. This year the non-profit
organisation that declares itself “for
the benefit of Sydney’s LGBTQI com-
munity, the enjoyment of a wider
audience and as a global beacon
of diversity, acceptance and LGBTQI
rights” holds its festival between
20 Feb and 8 March. More than just
two weeks of hedonism, then ...

This year’s line-up looks set to be
something very special indeed with
a pool party, fair day, harbour party,
sunset cruise and parade party on
the agenda.
mardigras.org.au

DIVAMAG.C0.UK 77

*****

Let's be honest, the scene in London
was becoming a little... stale. So we
couldn't wait to get ourselves down to
the Truman Brewery for Last Dance, a
super-cool mix of magic and mayhem.

The folks behind our new favourite
night out want to make a name for
themselves, taking some of London's
hippest spaces and transforming them
into unforgettable party destinations
for ladies who love ladies, and Decem-
ber's event was incredible. As well as
performance from Femme (who re-
cently supported Charli XCX on tour),
there were also DJ performances from
the legendary Hannah Holland and
fresh talent Izzy Trixx, plus cabaret,
aerial performances, burlesque, fancy
dress and a whole lot more.

Sad you missed out? Make sure you
get yourself along to the next one. Keep
an eye on their website for dates. ©

THE FIRST
NIGHT OF A
NEW CLUB HAS
LONDON GIRLS
ALL LOVED UP

ldstddncepdrty.com

78 FEBRUARY 2015

WORDS CARRIE LYELL, PHOTOS PAPARAZZI VIP PHOTOGRAPHY

WHEN NOT WORKING HARD AT
DIVA HQ I LIKE HANGING OUT WITH
FRIENDS IN BRIXTON, WHERE I'VE
LIVED FOR 20 YEARS NEXT
MONTH"

LOUISE CAROLIN, 48

BIST PLACE FOR BRUNCH
A COFFEE WITH FRIENDS

Amongst the fishmongers and wig-shops of Brixton
Market you’ll find dozens of tiny eateries that offer
something for every appetite. I love Casa Morita for tasty
Mexican dishes and Lab G for delicious own-made ices.

casamorita.com / brixtonmarket.net/brixton-village

BEST PLACE TO PARTY

Gotta love the RVT in nearby Vauxhall, a favourite queer
hang-out since the 50s with a history that goes back to
the days of music hall and beyond. This venerable venue
hosts Duckie (rock ‘n’ roll honky-tonk since 1995) on
Saturdays and Bar Wotever (royal queer variety show, all
genders and sexualities welcome) on Tuesdays.
rvt.org.uk

BIST PLACE TO MAKE
NEW FRIENDS

Eighty Three is a new club especially for bi women and
their friends, from the girls behind Bijou. The crowd are
cool and friendly, it’s a great place for a relaxed after-
work drink and there are loads of convenient places to
grab a bite along Clapham High Street.
elysionevents.co.uk

WHERE

DO YOU

GOTO

PARTY

PULL,

RELAX,

ESCAPE?

Email louise@
divamag.co.uk for
our “My Scene”

BIST PLACE
TO ESCAPE

Brixton’s Brockwell Park has
something for everyone, from the
best kids’ paddling facilities ever to
a 50m outdoor pool. You can run,
bowl, BMX, play tennis, football
and cricket, or mooch in the walled
garden. It’s everything a local park
should be. Look out for bi author
and DJ Katy Watson’s memorial
bench near the hilltop cafe.
lambeth.gov.uk/places/
brockwell-park I fusion-lifestyle.com

DIVAMAG.CO.UK 79

I DIRECTORY

DIVA DIRECTORY

TO ADVERTISE CALL MAGGIE TRAVERS

TEL 020 7424 7434

EMAIL MAGGIE@DIVAMAG.CO.UK

CLASSIFIED FEATURE - PACE

INSPIRING BETTER LGBT+ RELATIONSHIPS AND MENTAL HEALTH SINCE 1985

Who we are

PACE is the LGBT+ mental health charity
providing lesbians, bisexual, trans* and queer
women with couples and individual counselling,
new parenting support and relationship
group work.

Love is a changing thing

At PACE, we know that love is a changing thing.
You can know you love someone and still not
know how to be with them. Being different from
each other is both a wonderful and a terribly
heartbreaking thing. Living with difference in
a loving relationship is the issue that comes to
counselling again and again.

Kath Blake Counselling Service Manager at
PACE says: “Every day I see people coming
into counselling feeling worn out by what's
happening in their relationships and feeling
powerless to stop it.

“Some people are struggling with ordinary
issues and some with extraordinary things.

For some, it's all about how to make time for

themselves and their relationship in the midst
of a busy work and family life. Others are facing
the repercussions from an affair, the effects of
grief, the demands of work or stress. Others
may be trying to work out how to negotiate
spending time with, or having sex with, other
people outside of their relationship. There are
as many issues as there are people.

“At whatever the stage of a relationship -
beginning, middle or end - counselling and
groups are a way of clearing the path, restoring
love and hope - finding ways to make a
difference in people's lives. In some ways, it's just
that simple."

What we think

The quality of our relationships dramatically
affects how we view ourselves and how we deal
with things. Having healthy relationships in our
lives significantly improves the quality of our
wellbeing and even our physical health.

Working with a specialist LGBT+ therapist at
PACE can allow you to really hear each other to

help you get through the tough times. Building
solid foundations within your relationships
helps you create a relationship that works for
both of you.

To do this, you can attend couples counselling
at PACE or come along to a free weekend
couples workshop where you will meet other
LGBT+ people in similar situations, and will
be guided through facilitated sessions to help
you deepen communication and work through
conflict in a more positive way.

The next workshop for couples takes place on
31-1 February and is free to attend. Many couples
use this as the first step to improving the quality
of their relationship before working with a
relationship counsellor.

To book on to this workshop contact
Lornd.Fulton@pdcehedlth.org.uk
If you would like counselling for yourself, or for you and your
partner go to www.pdcehedlth.org.ukoi call 020 7700 1323.

80 FEBRUARY 2015

BESPOKE TAILORING

A-Z CLASSIFIEDS

CIVIL PARTNERSHIP

I DIRECTORY

COUNSELLING

The Butch Clothing Company

Bespoke Clothing

podrich

Bespoke

Bespoke Tailoring

with a twist

visit our friendly studio at:

Shop 10, Bush Walk, Wokingham, Berkshire RG40 1AT

(1 hour from London, 1 5mins from Reading)

Like Us

0118 979 3880

www.goodrichbespoke.co.uk

kerry@goodrichbespoke .co.uk

GIFT

si BScmrnoNs

VISIT

www.divasub.co.uk

EXCLUSIVE cm ERS
FREE DEL1\ ERY
£36 FOR 12 ISSl ES

In the Pink

07914 070 768

Tun | Natural j Personal

COUNSELLING

Spiral

holistic therapy centre

psychotherapy

counselling

complementary therapies

lesbian ran centre ~

low cost counseling & psycho therapy available

www.spiralcentre.org
020 7607 4403

Islington London N7

ARE YOU A COUNSELLOR?

ADVERTISE YOUR SERVICES HERE

REACH GAY WOMEN INTERNATIONALLY ON

divamag.co.uk

CALL MAGGIE TRAVERS ON: 02074247434

MOTORING

L- BALESecCMBYCAMPCHVANfi.COM
WWW.OGNBYCAMPEItVAHS.CDM

Buxton Road. Leek. Staffs. St IS 6EJ

Camper-van Conversions and Salas - Elevating/ Pop- Top and High Top Roof Manufacturar
Specialising in camparvan conversions for VW T5, VW T4 and many other bate vehicles
Contact us for all your requirements - Trade enquiries welcome
Telephone 01538 382568 - Email salesOdenbvcampervans.com

VIDUAL

GROUP

COUNSELLING

Includes:

Walking Therapy

Memory Group/
Older People

Life Changes

Creative Blocks

LONDON/HASTINGS AREA

INTRODUCTIONS

Let's do lunch!

Meet at 2pm, second Sunday
in every other month,
in Manchester’s Gay Village.
March 8th
May 10th
Enjoy a lazy Sunday
afternoon, chill & chat over
good food & a bottle of wine!
For information or to reserve a place
Tel: 07813 083 242
Email: paulad650@aol.com
www.lesbiandiners.co.uk

REMOVALS

SHIRLEYS

removals

We have been moving...
Everything, Everywhere...

For lesbians and gay men
for 25 years.

UGHT/MEDIUM& HEAVY DUTY
LONQ/SHORTHAUL
FREE ESTIMATES
WITHOUT OBLIGATION
DSS WELCOME

020 7254 5580

FAST, EFFICIENT
FRIENDLY & RELIABLE

www.shirleysremovals.co.uk

shirleys.removals@yahoo.co.uk

DIVAMAG.CO.UK 81

I DIRECTORY

JEWELLERY

A-Z CLASSIFIEDS

SHOPPING

Commissions in gold, platinum & silver

As well as working with stones,
award winning Diana Porter will hand etch
customers own choice of words around rings.

brochure & enquiries 0117 909 0225

www.dianaporter.co.uk

PAOLAUDARK

JEWELS WITH ATTITUDE

ivu hv.Pao liAnfillitk.ntni
nrtri: J ™4,: qflSKi

SHOPPING

tQ) Desicns ©

buy cards at slamsisterdesigns.com

T-SH RTS NSP RED

AtIHX jir

.prettypinkpearl.co.uk

ADVERTISE
YOUR
SERVICES
- HERE ! -

Reach gay women
internationally
with a classified advert.

SHOPPING -EROTIC

Call Maggie Travers on:

020 74247434

82 FEBRUARY 2015

CLASSIFIED FEATURE - GOODRICH BESPOKE

BESPOKE TAILORING WITH A TWIST

I DIRECTORY

Kerry's studio is unlike most traditional tailors' premises; everything
about the environment and ambience is designed to ensure her clients
feel comfortable and instantly at ease. With over 20 years in tailoring,
Kerry will take personal responsibility for all aspects of your commission,
getting to know you and helping to guide and advise you as you both
plan your new garment.

If you've not had bespoke tailoring before, what can you expect?

No matter what style of suit you are looking for, wedding or work-wear,
seeing your garment take shape over a series of fittings is an enjoyable
part of the experience. Our suits are made in the same way as most Savile
Row tailors but with the twist that makes it yours. With around 50 hours
work in every suit, you will find high-end details like hand finishing. The
result will be a one-off that you will treasure for years to come, fitting
you perfectly and reflecting your personality.

Stage 1: Initial appointment

You will meet Kerry to discuss your requirements in detail - talking
through fabrics, design style and fit. Following this initial appointment,
your cloth, lining and trimmings will be ordered in and Kerry will draft
and cut a pattern, making up the suit ready for your first fitting, all done
on site in the studio.

Stage 2: Fittings

At the first fitting your suit will only be part made, and you will be able
to see the canvas and “inner workings" as it begins to take shape. Kerry
will mark up any alterations which may be necessary, and following the
fitting, will take the suit apart again, re cutting and, making any changes
before putting it back together for a second, more advanced fitting.

Stage 3: Final fitting

Your suit is finished! This final fitting is an opportunity for both of us
to ensure we are completely happy, and make any minor adjustments
if needed.

www.goodrichbespoke.co.uk
01189 793880
Shop 10, Bush Walk
Wokingham RG40 1AT

Facebook: Goodrich Bespoke
Twitter: @kerrygoodrich
Email: Kerry@goodrichbespoke.co.uk

DIVAMAG.CO.UK 83

I DIRECTORY

BRIGHTON

TRAVEL- UK & IRELAND

A seafront hotel, a bar, a terrace & a club under one roof

The Basement

V club y

Standard

Room

and the whole of gay Brighton on your doorstep!

www . iegendsfor ighton * com
31-34 Marine Parade, Brighton BN2 1TR
Tel: 01273 624462 Fax: 01273 624470

0 Scan
QR code
S; for deals

BATH

LAKE DISTRICT

Burghope manor

Winsley, Bradford-on-Avon. near Bath, Wiltshire. 8A15 2LA

www.burghopemanor.co.uk

We enjoy 3 greal repulsion Tor providing tin i standing food, comfortable en suite
room* and a welcoming. pratcssiofial atmosphere. Woolly Bridge Farm is the
perfect getaway lor a ramanlic weekend, honeymoon, birthday, anniversary,
house party - or simply lime away from ihc rigours of your daily life: it is smoke
tree, pet free and unsuitable lor children.

Aloft information is available on Our wcbsilc.

Come and experience YVodsey Bridge Farm for yourselves:

in luC a vvooL&cv bnd gel arm.co. uk
www, WQolseybridgeFarm.co.uk

01379642829

Find us on Facebook : Woolsey Bridge Farm

Woolsey Bridge Farm

WOOLSEY BRIDGE FARM

Lesbian Castro Bed &' Breakfast
in the Heart of ‘Fast Anglia ^

0>N^ t0

XT*

Great base to explore Balh, Wells, Longleal, Stonehenge.
NalionalTrusl sites,,.

Tasteful en-sulte rooms, friendly atmosphere, home-cooked meals

*£$*

Contact Alan or Peter [ex of LEIGH HOUSE!
le!;+44-(0) 1225 - 72021 6 email: enquPB 5 @burghopemanor.cam

NORFOLK

Have you recently said 'I Will'?

Exclusive, country chic house hire
that includes: 16 rooms, 2 course
meal for 32 guests plus half a bottle
of wine per person from only £2995.

With the addition of our
new Orangery we can now
accommodate up to 110 guests.

Call 015394 45566 for more information
or visit www.broadoakscountryhouse.co.uk
Windermere, Cumbria 5 mins from Lake Windermere

84 FEBRUARY 2015

I DIRECTORY

TRAVEL- UK & IRELAND

TRAVEL -WORLDWIDE

WALES

JLanfas farm Cottages

Holidays St Retreats in West Wales

Breathtaking views, romantic walks, old-world charm only with Wi-Fi!

Chill out or snuggle up by a cosy log fire. Our 20 acre farm nestles in
the Cambrian mountains and is only a short drive to Sandy beaches
and many other attractions.

Our animals range free and when we can, wo provide fresh eggs and
organically grown seasonal salad and veggies. Also take advantage of our
special guest rates for 'Brennan' energy healing, 1-2-1 yoga or guided deep
relaxation sessions. Our beautifully converted 5 star, self-catered holiday
cottages are fully equipped to make your holiday one to remember! We
welcome well behaved dogs/pets.

Contact Cathy or Louise on 01 570 421 1 44 or enquirie&0lan!asfarm r co,uk

www.lanlasfarm.co.uk

ADVERTISE YOUR
HOLIDAY

DESTINATION HERE

REACH GAY WOMEN
INTERNATIONALLY

divamag.co.uk

CALL MAGGIE TRAVERS ON:

02074247434

CONDITIONS FOR ADVERTISING

All advertisements are accepted subject to the publisher's standard terms and
conditions, copies of which are available on request. In particular, cancellation
of advertising must be received in writing at least four weeks prior to copy date
to stop or suspend insertion.

For a copy please write to:

Maggie Travers, Millivres Prowler Group, Spectrum House, Unit M,

32 - 34 Gordon House Road, London NW5 1LP

ORDER FORM

Please insert the following advert in the next

PREFERRED

HEADING

rtviW wnw rttwl,
m Hotk capuLi
wir'd to* r* h fell.

plww nplfl thff first
ward will w in bold

SPAIN

Yearning for the most wonderful holiday or blissful
honeymoon? Diva Espaha has it all - spa treatments,

J stunning swimming pool, luxury Jacuzzi, exquisite cuisine to
| awaken taste buds.., served in this magical space for women.

Boutique accommodation with
1 quality en-suite rooms or a spacious
| self-catering apartment, all provided
in total privacy and tranquility
with breath-taking scenery.
Holidays that dreams are made of.

Call Kathy & Linda 01582 808246 or 0034 699519554
enquiries <®d i vaesp a na .com www.d \ va espa na .com

OUR RULES

TO START: Fill out the Directory order form requesting the heading you require
and send with payment to:

DIVA Classifieds Millivres Prowler Ltd. Spectrum House, 32- 34 Gordon
House Road, London NW5 1LP

No. of words at 9Sp each I I Box Number (add £5} D Bold (add £5) D Semi-display {add £10) □ (pleas* tick />
Title (Ms, Mr elcj,. „„ — ...First Name „„ Last Name,.,,. ,...

THE GUIDE HEADINGS INCLUDE: A-Z (business and services),

Health, Mind & Body, Destinations, Erotica, Introductions, or for personal
adverts: One-to-One, Just Friends, No-Strings Fun, I Saw You! Dykes Reunited.

Address.

Mobile Email

I enclose cheque/pgsLal orders payable to MiLLivres Prowler Ltd (dr £

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LINEAGE: Cost 95p per word (minimum 20 words) with first word in bold. Box
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note that: we cannot accept copy which is in any way derogatory or sexually
explicit, or publish telephone numbers.

If you wish to pay by: □ Mastercard: f

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xoiif tecum* code H ite 3 d$ic number found on me bxh oi
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Total to pay per issue € Start Date Expiry Date Switch Issue

DISPLAY CLASSIFIED: Telephone us on 020 7424 7434

COPY DEADLINE: For the March 2015 issue is 10th February 2015

TERMS AND CONDITIONS: DIVA reserves the right to refuse or amend an
advertisement without giving a reason. No refunds can be made on any
advertisements which have to be amended or altered. DIVA does not take any
responsibility for the return of photos or artwork. If circulars are discovered
among any box replies, they will be intercepted.

DIVAMAG.CO.UK 85

I WELLBEING I ADDICTION I

Giving it up

When I set up my
company, Sarah
Graham Solu-
tions, in 2009,
the first client
through the door
was a 16-year-old
binge-drinking
lesbian. She was referred to me by
her godmother who'd heard me give
a talk to DrugFam, a cool charity that
supports the families of those affected
by addiction, during which I'd shared a
little of my own story about growing
up queer in Wiltshire.

My new young client was over-
flowing with anger and was turning it
against herself and society. She had
dropped out of schooling and been ar-
rested twice for serious violent behav-
iour - including hitting her girlfriend,
which she did during blackout.

This young woman had been bul-
lied from years eight to 11 for having a
gay friend and being gay by associa-
tion. Once she stood up for him and
was punched hard in the mouth by a
boy. She reported homophobia to the
head of year on a regular basis. No
action was taken.

Growing up in an unsafe environ-
ment where you are always different
creates toxic levels of shame and other
harmful emotions. When I asked my
client what alcohol meant to her, she
replied, “Freedom". That's a powerful
reason to get hammered. Coming to
see me, I'm sure that a lot of the heal-
ing that took place in our therapeutic
relationship wasn't just because of my
counselling skills. It happened because
of my being an out LGBTI woman - a

happy, positive role-model and knowl-
edgeable about LGBTQQI issues.

Our therapeutic alliance affirmed
and nurtured her sense of self. She felt
safe to reveal her pain and anger and
I reflected to her that what happened
in school was not ok. She wrote to the
headmaster and is now free to be herself
- without needing alcohol as a crutch -
and has made a fresh start in life.

I have a lot of empathy for people
with addiction because I am a recover-
ing addict myself: I started drinking at
12 and by 14 I was smoking cannabis
and doing speed and acid. A lot of
the drugs and booze were given to
me whilst I was being groomed by a
paedophile.

Like many women with addictions,
sexual trauma and abuse is a big part of
my story. When I came out, aged 17, I'd
had years of being bullied and assaulted
for being a “dirty dyke" at school - an
everyday occurrance - and this was part
of the reason that I went from being
an A-grade to an E-grade student and
dropped out of school by 16.

I got clean in rehab, aged 32, and
retrained at the Priory as an addictions
counsellor. When I went into schools
to work with drug-using pupils, the
thing that shocked me most was the
amount of homophobia that's still
present in playgrounds today. Even
more surprising are the teachers and
heads failing to act to protect their
LGBT young people, and those straight
kids deemed to be “so gay".

There's strong evidence that
homophobia negatively impacts on
young LGBT people's mental health.
Stonewall's Prescription For Change:

THE ROOTS
OF ADDICTION
CAN LIE IN THE
TOXIC SHAME
CAUSED BY
HOMOPHOBIA,
SAYS SARAH
GRAHAM

I started
drinking
at 1 2 and
by 14 1 was
smoking
cannabis
and doing
speed and
acid

Lesbian And Bisexual Women's Health
Check found that half of lesbian and
bisexual women under the age of 20
have self-harmed, compared to one in
15 teenagers generally. We are more
likely to commit suicide and abuse
drugs and alcohol, and are less likely
to access health services.

With the advent of social media
and living in a celebrity- and image-
obsessed world, addiction is ever more
rampant - and not just to drink and
drugs. People are addicted to food,
sex, relationships, exercise, shopping,
porn, work, gambling, self-harm, anger,
adrenaline. The list goes on... And there
still is very little in the way of NHS
treatment available for us; most of the
treatment budget goes on methadone
for people who use crack and heroin.

This is why my gay colleague, thera-
pist David Smallwood, and I have set
up an LGBT addictions and recovery
group at 140 Harley Street, London.
David recently wrote an excellent
book called Who Says I'm An Addict?
and by joining forces with him to run
this open group on Tuesday evenings
(6.30pm for a 7pm start) we hope
to provide an incredible, affordable
healing opportunity. There is nowhere
else on Harley Street you can get to
work with two of the best addictions
therapists for twenty quid (less than a
round or a gram!).

For more info email
sdrdh@SdrdhGrdhdmSolutions.com.
sdrdhgrdhdmsolutions.com \ drugfdm.co.uk

86 FEBRUARY 2015

PHOTO HOLLY FALCONER

I ADVICE I ASK JANE I

DIVA editor Jane Czyzselska is a qualified
integrative counsellor, registered with the
BACP. Jane cannot offer individual responses
or answer every single question. Please
note that by submitting your question to
Jane, you are giving your permission for
her to use your question as the basis of her
next column, and your story will be shared
on Facebook for advice from readers. Jane
may not be able to tell you that she is using
your question, but will try to email you the
reply if she does. All questions will be kept
anonymous and key details and facts may be
changed to protect your identity. You can find
out more about Jane’s counselling services at
shoreditchtherapy.com

IF YOU’VE
GOT ISSUES,
WE CAN HELP

READERS’ REPLIES

OMG, get a different job closer
to your partner. She can’t leave
her dependents but you are
free to work nearby. Please
don’t lose your partner just for
the sake of a job. It will hurt
both of you.

Virginia Salter

I think it’s best to ask yourself
if in the long term it would
benefit you to call it off now
and maybe stay friends or
whether you can’t picture ever
being without her? You just

don’t want to get another four
years down the line and end
up resenting each other any
more. Also, you don’t want a
strained relationship because
then it impacts other areas of
your life, such as work, family,
finance and your happiness. At
the end of the day, relation-
ships are important, but you
are 27 and don’t want to waste
your life, you need to live it.
And maybe that might be with
someone else.

Alex Thomson

HOW CAN I CHOOSE BETWEEN MY JOB
AND MY RELATIONSHIP?

Dear Jane,

I am 27 and my partner has just
turned 39. We have been together
for four years this coming January
and have had a lot of ups and downs
in our relationship, mainly due to
the fact that we live hundreds of
miles apart. We have been fortunate
in that we could see each other
frequently whilst I was unemployed
although this had its obvious draw-
backs, with depression being one of
them for me.

Although money was tight and
I was very depressed and lacking
self confidence as a result of being
unemployed, we enjoyed our time
together and made the most of it.
After two years I eventually got a job,
a placement, that helped me to build
up my confidence and get me back
into the world of work in the field I
want to work in. It was great to be in
work and my partner was very sup-
portive as she could see how down I
was constantly. However, my new job
meant I had less time for her and we
struggled to see each other as much.
Now I have taken a new job which is
even further away and it takes a day's
travelling to get to each other.

To place further strain on our re-
lationship, my partner is a full-time
carer for two family members and
cannot move to be closer to me or to
live with me. I want to live with her
and have a life together but cannot
ask her to leave her family as I know
she would end up resenting me
eventually.

I love her family and have a
fantastic relationship with them but
I don't think they can see the strain
they are putting on my partner and
our relationship. I am worried that I
am coming to a point where I cannot
cope with the distance anymore
and want more from my partner,
so have started to push her away. I
don't want to but I can't stop myself
because ultimately there is no "win"
in this situation, is there?

Regardless of our relationship
and how I feel, I am also worried
that my partner is going to have a
breakdown with the stress that she
is under because of her family and

because of the way I feel.

We talk a lot and go round in
circles and it frightens me that
the only conclusion is to let her go
because I don't want to spend my life
in a relationship with someone that I
can't really have.

Help!

Dear Help!

I'm sorry to hear about your depres-
sion, which when combined with job
loss and being apart from your signifi-
cant other can really make life seem
very bleak.

It sounds as if you are experiencing
a really difficult conflict. On the one
hand, you say you love and want to live
with your girlfriend yet on the other
you are worried about how to make this
happen and if you do, how will you feel?
Will it place undue strain on you? If you
move to be closer to her, either in her
family home or nearby, you will have to
change your job and move home, and
possibly for you this will mean moving
away from friends and family members.

Your letter is full of anxious
thoughts about the future. The first
thing to think about is how much you
really do want to stay with your partner
and what you are willing to compromise
on to make your relationship possible.

If you decide you really do want to be
together long-term then I suggest you
tell her and then talk about how the
two of you might work it out in a man-
ner that means that both of you get as
many of your key needs met as is cur-
rently possible. Try to see it from your
partner's perspective too. What would
you want if you were in her shoes? It
doesn't sound as if you feel you have
flexibility to relocate and I wonder why?
Does your partner live somewhere you
couldn't follow your chosen profession,
perhaps? If this is the case, and moving
closer to her would leave you feeling
resentful about that, then perhaps this
is not the relationship for you.

DIVAMAG.CO.UK 87

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The Bartender

Nina sat at the bar, swirling red wine
around her glass. The steady beating
of drums burst into the room, followed
by a loud cheer. Brightly coloured saris
and elaborately embroidered scarves
clouded her view but she just caught
a glimpse of her cousin's beaming face
as he walked his new wife through the
crowd. She sighed.

"Another drink?"

It was dark behind the bar, dimly lit
by candles and low lamps. The voice
stepped forward. Nina was already tip-
sy, but nodded and smiled at the face in
the dark. She could just about make out
the lines of muscle through the white
shirt sleeves and for a moment she
imagined those arms wrapped around
her tiny frame, holding her tightly in
an intimate embrace. She shivered and
tried to look away, but her eyes drifted
back to the shapely bottom wrapped
in tight black trousers. She giggled and
looked down as another large glass of
wine appeared in front of her.

"Thanks," she muttered before
taking several large sips. Two delicate
hands were either side of the pump in
front of her. She twirled a few strands
of long black hair between her fingers,
looking down into the glass and feel-
ing her heart beat faster. She took a
large gulp of wine, flicked her hair over
her shoulder and flashed a seductive
smile at the bartender.

"Do you have a name?"

The bartender leaned forward so
their faces were close.

"Rav."

They looked into each other's eyes
for a brief moment before Nina turned
away with an embarrassed laugh,
feeling her cheeks flush scarlet. The
woman behind the bar smiled.

"Something wrong?"

She had piercing green eyes and
creamy olive skin. Nothing like the
girls at the wedding with their long
silky hair and glamorous dresses, but
beautiful. Nina couldn't look away.

"No nothing, I just ..."

"Thought I was a bloke?"

Nina quickly shook her head, but
Rav was laughing. She leaned further
forward and Nina found herself lean-
ing slightly towards her too.

"So you meant to flirt with me?"

Nina's face was on fire. She looked
away. "No, I'm sorry."

"Oh. That's disappointing." Nina
looked back up. The woman's face was
inches from her own. "I was going to
ask if you fancied coming back here for
a ... quieter drink?"

Rav had a mischievous sparkle in her
eye and Nina felt a tingling sensation
run all over her skin. Maybe it was
the wine, or just those hypnotic eyes.
Either way, she found herself draining
her drink and walking through the bar
into a darkened back room, as if in a
daze. The room was lit with candles
and faintly scented with vanilla and
spice. Rav sat down on a leather sofa
and Nina let her eyes wander over
the woman's muscular body. She felt
a sudden unexpected burst of desire
and launched herself forward, pressing

ATTENDING
A FAMILY
WEDDING
SOLO, NINA IS
INTRIGUED BY
AN UNUSUAL
WOMAN

SHORT STORY

TAURAMOON

The bar-
tender
leaned
forward sn
their faces
were close

her lips against hers. Rav held her back
with strong arms for just a moment,
brushing the hair away from her face
before gently slipping her tongue into
Nina's mouth in a deep, passionate kiss.
Nina melted into the curves of Rav's
body and didn't resist when she felt her
dress fall away. She soon felt the cold
leather of the sofa on her naked back as
Rav lightly ran her fingertips down from
Nina's neck to her pubic hair. She was
already soaked. She followed the trail
back up with her tongue, massaging her
breasts with both hands as she kissed
her neck. Rav was still fully dressed
and Nina tugged at her shirt but, weak
with pleasure, didn't have the energy to
remove it. She gasped when she felt the
warm tongue flicking between her legs.
Rav licked her slowly at first, enjoying
Nina's writhing and moaning for more.
She gently circled her clit, gradually get-
ting faster before flattening her tongue
and rubbing hard and fast, making Nina
cry out from the intense orgasm. She
had no time to recover and took a sharp
intake of breath as she soon felt two
fingers slide into her. Nina clawed at
Rav's back as she thrust into her over
and over, rubbing her clit with the heel
of her hand making her come again and
again in sweet ripples of pleasure until
she finally clung onto her so tightly they
were forced still to catch their breath.

In the quietened room, the "first dance"
music drifted in through the thin walls.
Rav stood up and smoothed out her
clothes.

DIVAMAG.CO.UK 89

Make your environment as
sensual and comfortable as you
can: soft lighting, a warm room,
and a cushioned bed or futon
mattress to lie on. It's also
about making this space special
by removing anything that could
distract you from having your full
focus on your partner. This means no
mobile phones in the room, put the
phone ringer on silent, turn off the
laptop and maybe even cover any TV
or computer screens that are left in
the room. If you want to go the extra
mile, bring in some fresh flowers and
candlelight. You may also want some
seductive music: just bear in mind that
lyrics can sometimes be quite
intrusive and choose your tracks
thoughtfully.

2 Once you've set the scene,

think about what other props
and equipment you might
need. Towels are a good idea
to cover the area where you'll
be doing the massage. You
can use massage oil, coconut
oil or corn flour/corn starch for the
massage (check if your partner has any
allergies to any of these substances
first). Also have some personal
lubricant to hand: unflavoured and
unscented water-based lube is best. A
small bowl of warm water lets you
“reactivate" the lube if it starts to dry
on the skin. If you are not fluid-bond-
ed, and you plan to have genital
contact, have some latex or vinyl
gloves available for a safer sex
protocol. Finally, gather together any
other sensuous props you want to use:
a piece of fur or silk can create
amazing sensations when trailed over
the body (before any oil is applied).

3 All of these preparations
assume you already have
willing consent from your
partner. It can be lovely to
surprise them but do make
sure that they are happy to go
ahead. Think about how you
might like to make your offer. How
about: "I'd like to spend some time

IN THE
FIRST OF AN
OCCASIONAL
SERIES OF
SEXY "HOW
TO" GUIDES,
ANNA SANSOM
SHARES
HER TIPS

annaCg)

divamag.co.uk

@ladygarden69

worshipping your gorgeous body!" or
simply, “May I give you an erotic
massage?" Find out if there are any
areas off-limits. Being pre-menstrual
can make the body more sensitive to
touch and, for example, your partner
may prefer it if you don't touch her
breasts. They may prefer you not to
touch around the throat, or to avoid
their feet if they find them unbearably
ticklish. Find out by asking: “Are there
any parts of your body you don't want
me to touch?"

Before you begin to touch
your partner, make sure that
you are both fully present.
You may want to take a few
deep breaths together, and
gaze into each other's eyes
for a moment or two. You
could also begin by standing face to
face and holding hands, or with a
full-body, naked embrace.

You don't have to be a
professionally trained
bodyworker to give an erotic
massage. The aim is to enjoy
touching your partner's body
in a slow and sensuous way.
This isn't the type of massage
that focuses on working out tight
knots of tension or soothing aching
muscles. The two most important
components of erotic touch are
presence and communication.

Touching another consciously - and
being the recipient of conscious touch
- is an incredible gift. Really pay
attention to what you are doing: the
texture and temperature of their skin;
the sound of their breathing and any
other sighs or purrs; and the feeling of
connection between the two of you. If
you want to know how your touch is
being received, watch how their body
moves, listen for any sounds and
remember that you can always ask (but
try not to ask too many questions -

90 FEBRUARY 2015

SEX/LIFE I EROTIC MASSAGE I

trust that you are both enjoying the
sensations).

B Begin the massage by making
a gentle connection with
their body. You can start with
your partner lying on their
front or back. Place your
hand lightly on their upper or
lower back, over their heart,
or on their stomach. Give them a
moment to get used to your touch and
relax into it. If you want to incorporate
other materials, this is the time to do
it. You could slowly and sensually trail
a satin scarf over their skin, or stroke
them lightly with a feather. The whole
body is an erogenous zone so think
about their arms and shoulders, legs
and feet, face and hair. When you are
ready, sprinkle the corn starch over
their skin, drizzle the oil onto them or
let some of the coconut oil melt in
your hands.

How you touch is very
personal to the two of you. Be
guided by how you want to
touch them and what their
reaction is to the touch.
Massage the whole of their
body. You can use your
fingertips, the palms of your hands,
your forearms, your breasts, your own
torso sliding against theirs...

to celebrate your
lesbian love on
Valentine’s Day

tinyurl.com/

DIVAMFeb

8 Take your time building the

energy between the two of you
before you move to their
genitals. This is the point to
put on your gloves if you are
practising safer sex. Gloves can
also be extremely sexy even if
you are fluid-bonded as they act as
another texture and sensation to play
with. Continue your massage using
lubricant instead of the oil/corn starch.
There are lots of different ways you can
massage genitals. (The book Urban

Tantra by Barbara Carrellas has
excellent, detailed instructions on how
to give an “erotic awakening massage for
people with pussies and people with
penises".) The key is remembering that
you can touch the whole of their genitals
(as long as they have consented to this).
Think about massaging their pussy lips,
gently tugging their pubic hair, using
your breath to huff warm air over them,
or using a vibrator as well as your hands.
Vary your strokes and the sensations
and allow the erotic energy to build. It's
also important to allow moments of
stillness. See what their body does when
you still your hands for a moment: do
they arch up to meet you, rock their hips,
or place their hands on top of yours?
Remind your partner to keep breathing.
Breath circulates the erotic energy. If
their usual style of coming is to tense
everything and hold their breath, see if
you can encourage them to stay relaxed
and keep breathing.

9 There doesn't have to be an
orgasm or a climax to this
experience but, equally, your
partner may wish to follow
the sensations through to an
orgasm. When you are both
ready to end the massage,
you can cover them with a sheet or
blanket and allow them as much time
as they want to lay still and absorb the
experience.

What happens next? You
may go on to make love
or fuck together. Your
partner may want to
massage you. They may
want some quiet time, a
shower, or to be wrapped
up in blankets and allowed to sleep.
You may want to cuddle together or
make a snack. Bear in mind any safer
sex protocols as you end the session
and clean up. Finally, try to allow the
experience to be whatever it was for
each of you. There's no need to dissect
it, or to ask lots of questions. Try to
stay in the moment and enjoy the
sensual, loving and erotic feelings that
have been created. ©

DIVAMAG.CO.UK 91

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BOYISH SINGLE PARENT

F, 52, enjoys the gym, fishing, pool,
nights in/out, seeks honest F, similar
age, for f/ship, maybe more. Swindon.
Box 271087 ISI DV 271087

AMIABLE, HONEST

F, 45, seeks genuine F for good f/ship
& r/ship. Slough. Box 188074

SINCERE, QUIET

F, 61, GSOH, has two dogs, seeks F
for good f/ship & further. N. Ireland.
Box 660622 El DV 660622
ATTRACTIVE, FULL-FIGURED
F, 57, bisexual, well-spoken, seeks F,
similar age, for fun times & more.
Cotswolds. Box 173410 E DV 173410
LIFE, LOVE & HAPPINESS
Sincere, loving F, 56, seeks lovely,
laid-back, feminine F to share life,
love & happiness. Exeter. Box 623594
E DV 623594
OUTGOING, FRIENDLY
F, 57, full figure, bisexual, seeks F,
similar age, for fun times, nights in
& more. Glocs. Box 992306
M DV 992306
HONEST, EAGER

F, 43, seeks F for long-term, lasting
r/ship. Darlington. Box 204027
HONEST, SINCERE
F, 50s, likes days out, animals & cosy
nights in. Seeks feminine, gay F, 40-
60s, for fun & hopefully r/ship. Notts.
Box 161268 E DV 161268
SENSUAL, HONEST
F, 52, medium build, seeks F for
good times, maybe more. Soton.

Box 499883

GENUINE, FRIENDLY

F, 75, non-drinker, seeks F companion,

GSOH, with car, for cinema, good

food & more. Devon. Box 828190

100% GAY

F, 54, seeks solvent, gay F for good
laughs & r/ship. Manes. Box 870496
E DV 870496

GENUINE, FUN

F, 54, WLTM decent, solvent F, 45-55,

for plenty of laughs & maybe r/ship.

Manes. Box 322602 E DV 322602

DEEP, PASSIONATE

F, 54, seeks stimulating F with

something to say for conversation &

more. SE Ldn/anywhere. Box 269592

BABYFACE FEMALE

Lonely F, 37, seeks mixed race F for

good lasting r/ship & shared future.

Coventry. Box 100798 E DV 100798

TEETOTAL, HONEST

F, 72, n/s, likes holidays, socialising &

conversation. Seeks loving, caring F

for good r/ship. Lancs. Box 822209

BI-CURIOUS, SOCIABLE

F, 32, likes socialising & partying.

Seeks F to see what happens. Ldn.

Box 470300

PROFESS, LIFE-LOVING

F, 60s, likes beach walks, golf
& photography. Seeks kind,
affectionate lady, GSOH, for r/ship.
Hants. Box 457627
POSITIVE, OUTGOING, PROFESS
F, 51, seeks F for dancing in the
kitchen, dog walks on the beach,
good food, laughter & romance.
Newcastle. Box 436275 E DV 436275
GENUINE, HONEST & FUN
F, 42, 5'4", slim build, WLTM random,
nice Fs. Manes. Box 293527
COSY NIGHTS IN
Sincere F, 62, medium build, likes
animals, walks & some reading. Seeks
n/s F f/ship &good r/ship. Warwicks.
Box 733509 El DV 733509
SPIRITUAL, SINCERE
F, 38, single mum, likes travel &
writing. Seeks F for coffee, chats,
possibly intimacy & more. Co. Down.
Box 861404 E DV 861404
CREATIVE, SENSITIVE
F, 53, GSOH, seeks adventurous F for
r/ship. Ldn, anywhere. Box 589011
HONEST, LOYAL, CARING
F, 62, n/s, large build, enjoys walks,
theatre & film. WLTM F, 60+, for a
forever r/ship. Kent. Box 704273
CREATIVE, OUTGOING, FUN
F, 30s, staffie owner, loves DJing,
clubbing, singing, drawing &
socialising. WLTM loyal, mixed-race
gay F for r/ship. Cov. Box 783205
E DV 783205
FEMININE, YOUTHFUL
F, 51, GSOH, thoughtful, n/s, has
ME, likes animals & mystery. Seeks
understanding, caring F, 38-55, for
laughs+. L'pool. Box 913989
E DV 913989
GROUNDED, GENUINE
F, 38, seeks F who is kind to strangers
& keen to share their best memories
with someone special. London.

Box 223704 E DV 223704
LOVING, LOYAL, FAITHFUL
F, 41, n/s, enjoys all the good things,
seeks F, 36-48, for f/ship, fun times &
maybe more. Devon. Box 868555
E DV 868555

LOUD, PROUD, CONFIDENT

F, 40, bubbly, likes dance & films.
Seeks F for wild nights out &
passionate nights in. Milton Keynes.
Box 273975 E DV 273975

FUN, TOMBOY

F, 36, likes football, cinema & nights
out. Seeks feminine F, 30-40, for
r/ship. Manes. Box 798661
E DV 798661

FRIENDLY, PLUMP, PRETTY

Bisexual lady, 61, seeks similar F for
fun times. Gloucs. Box 237013
RELATIONSHIP OR FUN

F, 45, likes laughs & tennis & other
sports. Seeks F for fun & r/ship.
Manes. Box 154893 E DV 154893

DARK-HAIRED, SOCIABLE

F, 45, 5'1", medium build, likes
socialising, travel & motorbikes.

Seeks similar F for r/ship. W Ldn,
Surrey. Box 187431 E DV 187431
ATTRACTIVE, FEMININE
F, 49, likes the gym, reading &
holidays. Seeks feminine lady for
good r/ship. Yorks. Box 999700
E DV 999700
SINCERE, BLONDE
F, 37, single mum, seeks honest,
loving F for real r/ship. Kent.

Box 853359 E DV 853359
LIPSTICK LESBIAN
Attract, easy-going F, 50s, likes most
things, seeks sim late 40s-50s F. Text
preferred. Gloucs. Box 704295
CARING, LOYAL 8 HONEST
F, 69, loves good books &
conversation & WLTM a free-thinking
F with a sense of fun for f/ship,
maybe more. Fife. Box 342583
E DV 342583

JUST HAVEN'T MET YOU YET

Caring, genuine F, 53, 5'3", likes the
outdoors, holidays & the coast.

Seeks similar F for laughs & r/ship.
Cheshire. Box 220543

BISEXUAL

F, 58, seeks lady, 45-60, for f/ship,
maybe more. Nottingham.

Box 957270 E DV 957270

YOUNG-AT-HEART FEM

F, 51, likes most things, seeks similar
F for f/ship, maybe more. Glocs.

Box 403344

SOFT BUTCH

F, 53, cuddly build, seeks down-to-
earth, feminine F, 50+, for a quiet,
normal life. Bristol. Box 801751
GENUINE, CURVY
F, 36, likes cinema & rollerskating.
Seeks F for good times & more.

E Anglia. Box 538084
LOVING, CARING, GAY
F, 52, likes meals out, cinema & walks.
Seeks caring, loving F for r/ship.
Lancs. Box 745729 E DV 745729
KIND, CARING

F, 45, likes cats, seeks F for loving

r/ship. Stockport Box 442022

FEMININE, SINCERE

F, 60, n/s, likes cinema, her dogs &

walks. Seeks similar F for f/ship &

maybe more. Cornwall. Box 289505

E DV 289505

VERY OUTGOING

F, 55, loves travel & the outdoors.

Seeks gentle, feminine F, similar age,

for great, loving r/ship. Devon.

Box 527387 E DV 527387

GENUINE, SINCERE

F, 20, 5'3", seeks F for good times &

intimacy. Glasgow. Box 252315

HONEST, BISEXUAL

F, 49, 5'4", large build, seeks nice lady

for f/ship & maybe more. Powys.

Box 807825

ENTIRELY HONEST

F, 55, 5'10", has a dog & cat, likes long
walks, a bit disabled, seeks F for good
r/ship. Darlington. Box 381150
OUTGOING, BUBBLY
F, 49, fun, likes nights in/out &
socialising. Seeks similar F for
great r/ship. Co. Down. Box 657198
E DV 657198
KIND-HEARTED, HONEST
F, 33, 5'8", medium build, likes walks,
cinema & nights in. Seeks lovely F for
r/ship. Co. Antrim. Box 194316
SINCERE, HAPPY

F, 50s, likes gardens & travel. Seeks
nice F for something intimate.

Belfast. Box 372189

SINCERE, LOVING

F, 62, likes animals, quiet evenings

& occasional meals out. Seeks F for

loving r/ship. Herts. Box 405562

HONEST, AFFECTIONATE

F, 23, likes walks, films & good wine.

Seeks F for good times & r/ship.

Glasgow. Box 459448

AMOROUS, EASY-GOING

F, 48, likes the coast, cinema &

animals. Seeks similar F for good

r/ship. Glocs. Box 563608

SOCIABLE, SINCERE

F, 36, seeks feminine F, 30-40, for

theatre, meals out & close times.

Manes. Box 978625 E DV 978625

CUTE, GENTLE, BUTCH

F, 40, black, shaved head, cuddly

build, seeks honest, feminine, loyal

gay F for f/ship & maybe r/ship.

W Mids. Box 507405

SINCERE, LOVING

F, 39, seeks feminine F for f/ship &

possible r/ship. Notts. Box 736789

E DV 736789

CHEEKY, LOVING

F, 52, feminine, likes meals out,

football & walks. Seeks F for good

times & r/ship. Lancs. Box 794840

FUN-LOVING, EASY-GOING

F, 40, likes laughs & nights out. Seeks

similar F for fun & f/ship+. Manes.

Box 583561
LOVES COOKING

F, 61, sincere, solvent, loves cooking,
nature, wine & meals out. Seeks
sincere M for something special &
lasting. Manes. Box 632500
CARING & LOYAL
Gay F, 58, smoker, seeks special
feminine gay lady for a close r/ship.
Mansfield/Notts. Box 132991
E DV 132991
HAPPY, BI-CURIOUS
F, 48, blonde, loves doing nice things,
seeks nice F for socialising, laughs &
intimacy. Manes. Box 115157
SOMETHING WONDERFUL
F, 22, sociable & sincere, has a cat,
likes gardening & animals. Seeks
bubbly F, similar age, for something
wonderful. Essex. Box 721492

GOOD CONVERSATION

F, 49, seeks F, 40-50, with good

outlook, for good conversation &

plenty of laughs. Manes. Box 177389

SINCERE, LOVING

F, 19, likes the arts & music, looking

for caring F for loving r/ship.

Humberside. Box 782392

E DV 782392

SOCIABLE, HONEST

F, 19, smoker, social drinker, likes

reading & country walks. Seeks F for

r/ship. Glocs. Box 454386

SINCERE BLONDE

F, 67, likes gardening & travel. Seeks

F, similar age, for close times & more.

Ldn. Box 898375

BISEXUAL, SINCERE

F, 19, single mum, likes walks &

swimming. Seeks nice F for fun times

& further. Lancs. Box 983054

HONEST, BUTCH

F, 47, loves animals, seeks F for days
out & great nights in. Newcastle.

Box 538737

NO STRINGS

FEMALES RULE!

F, 22, seeks F for great times. B'ham.
Box 556726

SPECIAL, WARM PERSON

F, 51, likes culture, theatre, socialising,
not a big drinker, seeks F for good
times, socialising & intimacy.
Edinburgh. Box 143401 E DV 143401

SENSUAL, FEMININE

F, 43, bisexual, seeks similar F for
sensuality & experimentation. S. Ldn.
Box 591109

NEW TO THIS

Inexperienced F, 51, seeks F for fun
times. Soton. Box 467075

JUST FRIENDS

LIFE BEGINS...

Animal-loving F, 33, seeks friends
for socialising, laughter, intelligent
conversation & a little bit of mischief.
Somerset. Box 757543 E DV 757543

SINCERE, TRUSTING

F, 48, likes the outdoors & learning
Spanish. Seeks Fs for chats & genuine
f/ship. Ldn. Box 359170

RELATIVELY NORMAL

F, 52, loves animals, drives, gigs &
travel. Seeks Fs for socialising &
f/ship. Kent. Box 491009 E DV 491009

Customer Services:

Dating FAQs & Advice Line

0906 200 1036

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Complaints & Service Provider

0330 333 6946

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92 FEBRUARY 2015

3 VEGAN
ORGANIC
HIGHLIGHTS

QUEER GROOMING

NOURISH

KALE ENZYMATIC EXFOLIATING
CLEANSER

Protective face wash for all skin types.
Soup-erb.

£16.50 FOR 50ML

nourishskinrange.com

'VI&uaZ&Il.

TREATMENT

T*tATMi*T

•MIIWiMHK

RAW GAIA

ORGANIC COLD-
PRESSED COCONUT
BUTTER

Smoothing and soothing for
face, body and hair.

£12.99 FOR 90G

rdwgdid.com

VOYA

MY LITTLE HERO,
ORGANIC FACE SERUM

Light and brilliant, despite the
slightly creepy name.

£51 FOR 30ML

voya.ie

WHAT'S THE DEAL
WITH ORGANIC?

JOANNA BENECKE TAKES THE PANIC
OUT OF GOING ORGANIC

When it comes to food, organic means organic, as producers are regulated. It’s all or
nothing: you can’t label an apple as organic because only half of it was sprayed with
pesticides. Unfortunately, the organic grading of cosmetics lags behind our eats, with no
centralised rules in place. I recently bought a hand soap proclaiming ORGANIC! on its la-
bel, however, upon closer inspection, I found that only 11% of its ingredients were organic
and many of the others were far from natural. Until the beauty industry sorts itself out,
careful label-reading is called for in order to ensure you’re getting what you think you’re
getting. Many of the best ethical brands (eg Green People and Nourish) feature easy-to-
spot organic percentages on their labels, telling you exactly how organic each product is.
Unsurprisingly, these are also brands which have high levels of organic ingredients (no
one wants to brag about being 11% organic). Companies can also choose to be certified
by an independent body, such as the Soil Association, Ecocert or COSMOS, which is a clear
indication that they take their organic status seriously (although small companies can’t
always afford it).

It’s important to note that non-organic ingredients don’t have to be bad. Water, for
instance, can never be organic, as it’s not agricultural and can’t be grown, but is used in
almost all cosmetics. Salts and minerals are also not grown and therefore never organic,
so while a salt bath soak can be all-natural, it’s not organic. Additionally, several ethical
companies carefully choose which ingredients to source organically and are open about
their reasoning (awesome water-free company Lyonsleaf make their case here:
co.uk/organic-vs-natural).

When looking at a product claiming to be organic, red-flag ingredients include: PEGs,
sodium laureth sulfate, silicones (dimethicone, cydopentasiloxane), mineral oil, paraffin,
isododecane, isohexane - as well as ingredients with names ending in “paraben”, or
“eth” followed by a number (eg laureth-9). If any of these are present, the product would
not achieve organic certification. I should point out that opinion is divided as to whether
these chemicals are harmful or not, but some studies have shown links between these
ingredients and hormonal changes, allergies and even cancer. You will probably be using
them daily - in soap, shampoo, toothpaste, washing-up liquid - so to escape them
completely is a bit of a mission. If you are concerned, anything you don’t wash off your
skin - moisturisers, serums, lotions - is a good place to start your organic usage, because
your body is bound to absorb more of those products.

Joanna Benecke is a
writer with a green tea
addiction who believes
grooming doesn’t have
to be a dirty word.
( q)jodnndbenecke

Scientist Dr Pauline Hili (pictured) spent years developing formulations
for Neal’s Yard before deciding to launch her own natural skincare
range. The result is vegan, affordable, certified by the Soil Associa-
tion and features a very high percentage of organic ingredients.
Pauline has even worked out how to channel the benefits of
celeb-superfood kale into cosmetics, creating a vegelicious range
including handcream, cleanser and eyecream! My inner gay
Gwyneth rejoiceth.

BRAND OF THE MONTH:

NOURISH

DIVAMAG.CO.UK 93

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ONLY £2.49 WHEN YOU SUBSCRIBE

NORMALLY £3.99

EXCLUSIVE '
BONUS
CONTENT ON
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PC ANYTIME
ANYWHERE

BONUS DIGITAL CONTENT
IN THIS ISSUE:

THIS MONTH WE'VE GOT AN EXCLUSIVE
VIDEO INTERVIEW WITH COVER STARS
ALLEGRA MCEVEDY AND JACK MONROE
TELLING US ABOUT "COME TO BED
CARBONARA" AND MUCH MORE!
ADDITIONALLY, CHECK OUT THE VIDEOS
FROM BIRD LA BIRD, EVAN EFEKOYA AND
OUR HILARIOUS TRAILER FOR NEW LGBT
TV SERIES BANANA.

DIVADIGITAL.CO.UK

THE GEEK

PAVLOK

OM actual G. This is a device
directly from the devil, in my book.
Pavlok is a fitness tracker with
teeth. Not literal teeth, but not far
off. It hits you with voltage instead.
For example, if you don’t get up
on time, it will give you an electric
shock. The same goes for hitting
fitness and workout goals. Not my
idea of fun, but those of you with a
taste for kink might enjoy waking
up that way.
pavlok.com

DIVAMAG.CO.UK 95

GYM PACT

If you’re exercising, lord knows you shouldn’t forget about your lady parts. Thankfully
we have KGoal Smart Kegel Trainer. It turns out that tools to help women exercise
and manage their pelvic floors are extremely lacking. KGoal is a device and app
providing a fun, interactive platform to guide, measure and track your pelvic

floor exercise. It’s like having a
personalised gym and tracking
system in the palm of your
hand, or up your ... never
mind. Games will be coming
shortly, I’m told.

Pre-order at - it

could be the ultimate Valentine’s
gift for the woman in your life!
There’s an interesting vibrating
lemon available, too ...

This is the kind of app someone thought up whilst remem-
bering how they were threatened with getting their pocket
money being stopped if they were bad. Gym Pact fines you if
you miss your goals. There are three different types of pacts -
gym pact, veggie pact, food logging pact - to help you stay in
shape, eat more veggies and log your meals. You can choose
to commit to one or all of these pacts. They use GPS, photos
and other services to keep you honest. I’m an adult. I
resent it. You might not.
gym-pdct.com

POCKET YOGA

I do like a bit of yoga, but I don’t like
classes. Someone pointed out I didn’t
need a class ... They were right. Pocket
Yoga is the way to go. Using both audio
and visual guidance, the app guides
you through any of 27 routines. It leaves
me calm, relaxed and, if I’m honest,
sleepy.

£1.99, iOS; £1.89, Android,
i oocketyogd.com

KGOAL

As it’s the Love Issue and I spend a lot of
time propped up in front of a computer,
now is as good a time as any to take a
good look at what I’m doing to love the
body I’ve been given. And the answer is,
not a lot. So, I’ve dusted off my trainers
and downloaded some fitness apps.
Here’s what I learned...

Rhoda Meek is an IT
consultant and designer
with a social media ad-
diction, a crochet habit,
a RaspberryPi and two
left feet.
wodieskodie.com
@wodieskodie

HELL, NO!

BODY TALK

RHODA MEEK TESTS TECH THAT HELPS
YOU LOVE YOUR

COUCH
TO 5K

Lord knows, I like
my couch, but I’ve
always wanted to be
one of those svelte
runners floating
smugly past in the
dawn light, and this
app promised to get
me running 5km in
nine weeks. Starting
with walking and
light jogging,
its step-by-step
programme aims to
gradually increase
my fitness in only
three training ses-
sions a week. It’s rained most days and I have
shin splints, but it is beginning to work.

Free, iOS, Android, c2Sk.com

maVCONTACT

Contact Theatre, Manchester

Contact Theatre x LGBT History Month are revving up for an
almighty queer love in with Queer Contact. Gigs, events,
talks, workshops and screenings to get you inspired. DIVA
ed Jane will be lucidly discussing the ins and outs (or not)
of lesbian sex and queer pin-up and icon Justin Vivian Bond
(pictured) will be Q and A-ing all over your whaaat! (See
feature, p26.)

96 FEBRUARY 2015

HAP-

PENING

WHERE

YOUR

ARE?

Send your listings to
dora@divamag.co.uk

For weekly listings,
visit divamag.co.uk

HOW’S THE NEW YEAR TREATING
YOU SO FAR? WELL, IT’S
ABOUT TO GET BETTER

28 . 01 - 8.03

ONE FROM THE VAULTS

The Vaults, London

The most unexpected and untamed
underground Festival ever? With up to 20
shows per night, Vault might come close.
Free music on Wednesdays and Sunday
and late parties from Thursday to Satur-
day. Taking its theme as the unthemed,
Vault unlocks issues of politics, gender
and income in the city.
vaultfestival.com

29.01

Bl THE WAY

Aquum, London

A cool, friendly drinks party for bi women
and their friends to meet and mingle in
stylish surroundings.

Need a hand-hold? Find one at meetup.

com/Bi-Female-Friends.

elysionevents.co.uk

4.02

THE PARTY LINE

Green Door Store, Brighton

Ain’t nothin’ but a grrrl thing. Club night
dedicated to the queer, the feminist and
the plain great! FemRock Brighton pre-
sents a wintry edition of their screw you
punk night with an all female DJ line-up
playing the cream of female-fronted Riot
Grrrl, rock, punk, hip-hop, R&B and pop!
thegreendoorstore.co.uk

4.02

COME AS YOU ARE

LGBT Health & Wellbeing, Edinburgh

Bi And Beyond is a fortnightly get-
together where labels (or lack of them)
don’t matter. Come along for social
activities and refreshments in a welcom-
ing atmosphere.
gbthealth.org.uk/whats-on

7.02

NORTHERN REALNESS

Gorilla, Manchester

Come party with House Of Suarez this
February and eject yourself into another

WORDS DORA MORTIMER

I DIARY I LISTINGS I

dimension! Vogue houses will be throwing
shade for trophies once again. Evening
bags = a must.
contactmcr.com

7.02

SHARE THE LOVE

York Castle Museum, York

This LGBT history event intends to bring
history out of the closet. Share stories,
memories, keepsakes and objects with
curators and archivists to unearth the
queer history of York.
yorkcastlemuseum.org.uk/your-visit/events

7.02

STORMY WEATHER

Wedgewood Rooms, Portsmouth

Kate Tempest doesn’t fit the mould. She
bulldozes through her performances
half-singing and half-rapping. Watch her
perform work from her new album Every-
body Down on the coast this February.
katetempest.co.uk

9.02

RADICAL THINKERS

Tate Modern, London

What happened to the new worlds of pos-
sibility promised by the women’s libera-
tion movements of the 20th century? This
panel addresses the legacy of feminist art
and theory and its enduring relevance to
contemporary struggles.
tinyurl.com/TateFeministArt

10.02

POLAR BEARS

Contact Theatre, Manchester

Paul Burston’s glittery literary salon gath-

19.02

SWEET HOMO ALABAMA

Islington Assembly Hall, London

Brittany Howard is a babe. That is all.
alabamashakes.com

ers as part of Queer Contact festival. See
the crew chin-stroke and effervesce on
the best gay fiction, new and old.
contactmcr.com

14 - 15.02

YOUR HISTORY!

Citywide venues,

Manchester

Manchester stages a weekend of events
marking LGBT people in history. Celebrate
three centuries of LGBT culture and enjoy
the opportunity to see past representa-
tions of queerness.
lgbthistoryfestival.org

14.02

CRAFTY

Sutton House, London

Join Amy Grimehouse and friends on

crappy Valentine’s Day for some witch-
craft, voodoo and general debauchery.
Screening (oc)cult 90s film The Craft fol-
lowed by Connie Francis on the turntables.
Particularly thrilled by the idea of a Craft
craft room.

tinyurl.com/Valentines6rime

20.02

PANDA, GUN, GIFT

The Star of Kings, London

GIRLS is commandeered by GTF0 (girls to
the front, ok?) and provides a safe space
for the busting of moves to sick beats.
Soundtrack inc girl-bands, woman-
fronted bands, female artists of various
persuasions think riot grrrl, pop-punk,
motown/60s and Taylor Swift obvs.
starofkings.co.uk

21.02

14.02

Karamel, London

Join Fat Gay Vegan and guest DJs for a night of camp,
queer fun. Queer Vegan Disco propagates a mix of
pop classics, indie anthems, alternative tunes, dance
music and more commercial stuff. 100% vegan bar
serving beer, cider, wine and spirits all night.

facebook.com/tondonQVD

i es >

X **** «**«*: )** *m

ANNE HISTORIC EVENT

York St John University

Lesbian history comes to life with We Are
Theatre Company’s contemporary retelling
of the true tale of 19th century landowner
Anne Lister. Based on her own diaries, The
Anne Lister Play reveals Anne as the Shane
McCutcheon of her day. (That’s an L Word
reference, newbies.) Part of York History
Month, yorklgbthistory.org.uk.
tinyurl.com/DIVAAnneListerPlay

DIVAMAG.C0.UK 97

DIVA

NEXT ISSUE

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IN SHOPS ON 26 FEBRUARY

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Behaviour and newcomer in season 4 of HBO's GIRLS

SUBSCRIBE NOW AT W TO RECEIVE AN EXCLUSIVE COVER!

For additional exclusive video content every month, why not buy the digital issue at

98 FEBRUARY 2015

TESTIMONIALS

“I joined, met the love
of my life within a week
and 3 years on we’re
getting married. All
thanks to DIVA Date!”

“Just a little
message to say
thank you, you put
me in touch with
one of the most
amazing women
I’ve ever met”

For more information and to register online:

www.actionforcharity.co.uk

01590 677854

events@actionforcharity.co.uk

NIGHT

• # •

Join 2,000 women riders and cycle

100km through the night in Lqndon
and raise funds to fight breast,
cervical and ovarian cancers.

iThe.fi

* 2014 raised over £1m.

This event sold out in 10 weeks
last year so please register now tp
avoid disappointment.

breast

cancer

core

Jo’s cervical
cancer trust

ovarian,.

canceractlOTI

TO TAKE PART YOU NEED TO PAY A REGISTRATION FEE OF £39 AND RAISE MINIMUM SPONSORSHIP OF £199.

/fJffiXl , y

lifechangingevents

Registered Charity Nos: Breast Cancer Care: 1017658/ SC038104, Jo's Cervical Cancer Trust: 1133542/SC041236, Ovarian Cancer Action: 1109743/SC043478. Women V Cancer is established under the Charities Aid Foundation Charity No. 268369

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